I love our grandson Tyson. I will do anything for him. Today, I did a whole lot more praying over him and crying out to my Lord, Jesus Christ seeking guidance and peace.
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT
I am worn out. We all are. One minute the day is going well and the next we are trying to figure out what sets him off into a crying, screaming, angry little guy. These meltdowns use to be sporadic, now they’re daily, off and on all day until he falls off into dreamland. Whatever is triggering these meltdowns is also affecting his speech therapy at school and in the outpatient setting. Maybe he’s tired of going all the time and just needs a break; we really have no idea.
The few times I’ve seen him focus on anything here at home lasts only for 5-10 minutes. He has combined type ADHD. Not only is he very hyperactive, he also struggles with focusing on tasks and is very impulsive. His Developmental Pediatrician says it could be attributed to being autistic while also dealing with adhd and seeking sensory input or wanting to avoid sensory overload. While we are trying medication to help in those areas, we are also waiting to start ABA services.
I wonder when these raging times happen if he’s in pain we don’t know about or he believes we know why and wonders why we aren’t helping him.
We have had one day this month where we saw a glimpse of our happy loving child. In our eyes nothing was different than any other day, but for him it was. He laughed and played and not one angry outburst or meltdown. I actually marked that on my calendar; as a reminder he did have a good day. Something to hold onto. Hope if you will.
My heart breaks for him. To live a life where he can’t express the noise within except by lashing out. He kicks, body slams into walls and doors, hits, bites, pulls our hair, throws toys, cups, plates full of food. I fear he is regressing in some way and I don’t know how to stop it.
Being 4, he is very inquisitive and like most children, special needs or not, he still investigates tools and their uses, tries to help fix things he thinks needs fixing or breaking something so he can fix it. And in his mind if something breaks, we can just go to the store and buy another.
Up until this behavior became an everyday thing, I would hear from other parents of the struggles they were going through and thank God we weren’t. Now I understand the sheer exhaustion of it all.
His baby sister will be arriving in a couple of months and as much as I don’t like to worry, because it only causes more unnecessary stress, I wonder what our life will be like then.
I know God is in control. I know He has great plans for Tyson. My prayer is that we will figure out how to help him in regulating his moods so we can live in our home without tears daily. For all of us.
As I sit here and gaze upon this sleeping child, there is a sense of peace that I haven’t seen across his face for a very long time.
I don’t know what our future holds, but I know The One who holds our future.
Father God, Help us help him. Help us be the light in the darkness of these storms. Strengthen us and pour out your peace upon us all. In Jesus Mighty name. Amen
May you know how much Jesus Loves You…right here…right now.
Jesus can turn any mess in our lives into a message and any test into a testimony. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith
Blessings to all~Carlene