The daily writing prompt for today is “What’s a word or phrase that annoys you?”

One of them is ‘you have no idea’. First and foremost, I may not have any knowledge of what another person may be talking about, but the fact that they don’t even ask me about the topic they are telling me I have no idea about it is very annoying to me. I may not be the sharpest tack in the box, or brightest bulb in the pack, but assuming that just because I don’t go through the exact same thing someone else is going through that I have no idea how it feels or makes them feel.

When this happens, I literally want to scream! I usually don’t, but inside my head I am screaming at the top of my lungs, how do you know? Did you take the time to ask me or even have a conversation with me? Or did you assume that because you feel one way or another, no one could possibly understand?

I live with a chronic invisible illness daily and I only share the realities of that with people I love and can trust not to look at me with pity in their eyes. All of us have a battle of some kind we face every single day. For me it’s doing tasks, that may seem mundane to most, such as a load of wash.

It seems pretty simple and straightforward, but on high pain days, it can take every amount of energy and physical resources I have to gather the clothes, tote them to the basement, get them in the washer, the dry cycle and then sort and fold them. Toting them back upstairs to be put away must fall to someone else; by this time I am exhausted and in quite a bit of pain.

And I could tell people the same thing that annoys me to no end, “You have no idea how horrible I feel, but honestly does that really help anything?” I am the type of person that sees a silver lining even in the darkest moments. People have said to me in the past, “you must be a glass half full type of person”. And while that is true to a point, I like to take it one further and share with them that I am thankful I have the glass.

Using the phrase ‘you have no idea’ to me is a way people can end a conversation before it starts. Community starts with sharing ideas, emotions, beliefs, and listening to one another. We can’t assume that no one else on this planet could possibly understand; or at least not attempt to understand that, while we may have no idea what is happening to them, I believe that most people would really like to know, but when they hear that phrase either stop in their tracks and try to change the conversation to a totally different topic or grapple with the best way to address it.

I would like to think that I as a fellow human being would be empathetic enough to ask or respond with ‘you’re right, I don’t, but I would love to know more if it’s something you want to share’. Keeping lines of communication open, in any relationship, is important. Building trust takes time. The experiences in our lives, good or bad, shape the people we become.

My goal in this one life I am given is to be more like Jesus. Jesus loves us with an everlasting love. He has taught me that any test I face in this life, any mess I go through (and believe me there have been many in the 60+ years) can be used to help others that may be going through similar circumstances. Those tests and trials can be my testimony and my messes, can turn into messages of hope.

The next time someone tells you, “You have no idea.” Challenge them; maybe you know exactly but have chosen to keep that private, because you didn’t think it was possible to help or offer hope.

HopeAlwaysHaveFaith~Many blessings to you!