In all areas of life, understanding is part of the process. In order to do anything well, you have to understand how something operates, what is the main goal of the process and how you fit into that process.
There are so many topics that could be covered discussing understanding, but I am going to talk about healing from hurts and hangups in life.
Many people, at one point in their lives will need people to understand what they are going through or what they are experiencing and even if you have never been through the same situations they have encountered, you can have a empathetic understanding. You can be someone that can feel safe talking to and confiding in.
I know I have been hurt in the past, by people I trusted with details of my life that I just wouldn’t share with anyone and sometimes those confidences were spilled out in other conversations. No one intentionally set out to hurt me, they just forgot and it ‘slipped’ out before they could retract their words. Other times, because I perceived something that was said to have a totally different meaning that what it actually was, it created mis-understandings and caused rifts.
If you have been emotionally, physically or mentally abused, and your are stuck in a relationship that you know in your mind is not good for you, but in your heart, you don’t see any way to let go, do not fear, you are not alone. Many people become stuck in unhealthy relationships. They love the person they are with either because at one time there was an honest raw love or perhaps they have been alone for so long that even if the attention isn’t good all the time, it’s better than no attention. Many abusers, are control freaks, it has to be their way or now way. So you walk around on eggshells, start to isolate yourself, because you don’t want to upset them and in my opinion that is exactly what they hope to accomplish. If you stay isolated from good friends, family and a support system, it’s easy to fall into the belief that you will never be worth anything; no one would want you. If you start off in this kind of relationship with little or no self esteem or self worth, it won’t take long for that to plummet to zero. And if you have lots of self worth and a high confidence level and you slowly slip out of sight of friends and family, you feel like you have failed, because you should have known better.
The lie that you are not worthy; useless; unlovable comes from the enemy of our souls. He wants you to walk in darkness, where he can continue to perpetuate the falsity that you will never amount to anything and as you sink deeper in the pit of despair, you start to believe this. The devil will use any tool or person to keep you in the darkness.
The truth is you are so worthy that Jesus died for you, nailed to a cross, so you could be set free from the lies of the enemy. In Psalm 139:14 (NIV) it says:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.
God created you. You are not just a hap-hazard design with flaws. You are loved by the King. He knows everything about you. He knows when you get up and when you sleep. He knows your thoughts. He knows your dreams. He knows everything about you and all he wants for you is His very best. His son, Jesus.
And understanding that you were created by a loving Father in Heaven and that he sees you, even in your hurting, he is there to help you overcome. When you can reach out to others, who have been in similar situations, it is very helpful because then you have a support team that understands exactly what you are dealing with, how you are feeling, what causes you fear and how to get help.
Loving yourself and being happy with your self is the first step to leaving an abusive relationship and this does not necessarily mean that it is a partner relationship. It could be a toxic person in your life that at one time was your friend. You changed and you grew and they are still stuck, by their own choices. The only person you can change is yourself. You can’t fix anyone else. You can offer solutions, but ultimately, they have to be willing to take that first step.
I would recommend to anyone that is dealing with hurts, hangups and habits to check out Celebrate Recovery.
Proverbs 3:5 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Dear Lord Jesus,
I ask that you bless each person that reads this post. Touch them in a way only you can Father. Show them that you have everything under control and everything that happens in their lives, you will use for good according to your purpose and plans. Jesus, You are the Light of the World and Light always penetrates darkness. Thank you Father God for loving us, even when we don’t know how to love ourselves. In Jesus name, Amen