Leaning In

Philippians 3:13-15New International Version

13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

For the past year, I have not been as intentional in my prayer life as I should have been. It’s not that I don’t believe in the power of prayer, because I absolutely do and am in fact a person that was delivered through prayer to be cancer free.

As this year began, my church, as always does a series called 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer. You can choose to fast anything, in order to draw closer to God and grow spiritually. We are living expectantly this year, choosing to watch God move thru and in our lives. God can do anything for anyone.

I have decided to lean in to what God has for me. I am fasting mobile games. Little did I know that those mobile games that took up way too much time in my life, was holding me back from spending time with God. Being intentional has helped me to come back to Jesus and truly walk with Him daily. We started on January 2nd and six days in, I can already see how the 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer are changing me. It’s not about me, or my life, it’s all about Jesus.

I know from past experience, the more I lean into God and His Word, the better off life is for me. Jesus is my redeemer and my sustainer. He is my Peace. He can be yours too.

Getting up at 6:00 a.m.to join in morning devotions, sounded crazy, but it is wonderful! The short devotions and scripture shared with all of us daily through our online platform starts my day off just right. As I sit and follow along in the Bible or listen to it read to me, along with commentary, reminds me nothing is hopeless in this life. The scripture reminds me that God has always been for us; He will look for the one, and leave the 99, so no one will perish (see Matthew 18:10-14).

I want to be like Paul, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. And do this, we must live expectantly in all we do. Many times this may require us to wait, to be still, to hold unswervingly to our faith. To trust in the Father.

My new year looks promising as I press into the Lord. I spend time with Him reading my own devotions, praying and journaling. Every year, I start a journal, but never seem to keep it up. This time I am praying that when I come back to this post a year from now, my journal will be full of the wonders God has done in and thru my life and those I love.

So, I ask you, what are you leaning into this year?

Jesus can turn any mess in you life into a message. And any test in your life to a testimony! Jesus is our Hope. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

I encourage you to share what God is doing in your life. Let me know. I would love to pray with you!

Father in Heaven,

Today I give you all that I am. I invite you into the weak places in my life, so that you can turn them into strengths. I invite you into my heart and life, use me Lord to show others Who you are and give me eyes to see others as You see them and lead them to You. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen

Thanks for following along, much love and blessings~Carlene

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Jesus Never Fails

My faith may falter from time to time, but Jesus never fails. I may not see Him working all things out for my good, but He always is. That’s a promise you can bank on.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV

I am called to be a light to others, and shine for the world to see Jesus in and through me. Being a light should be the easiest thing to do. His Holy Spirit dwells within me, but many times the dark times of life try to choke out that light to barely a flicker. This is when we MUST stand firm in our faith and trust that just like yesterday, today and tomorrow God IS in control.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl, instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16 NIV

Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NIV

I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46 NIV

Everyday has challenges or opportunities; how you respond will determine what they are. There is always a reason to be thankful, even when life is hard, even when you want to quit or give up; life isn’t always “fair”. We are called to be thankful in all circumstances, not some but ALL. I look at it this way, if I am awake and alive, I have very much to be thankful for. God has a purpose for each of us. Maybe you don’t know exactly what that is yet, but trust me He will show you. Be open to listening to Him and remember to do everything in love.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1Thessalonians 5:18 NIV

Jesus can turn any mess in your life into a message and any test you face into a testimony! He loves you so much. Talk to Him, He is always available and will always listen. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to each of you~Carlene

Seasons Change

Just like fall brings the warmth of summer temps to a close; the fall colors in nature warm our hearts; seasons in our lives are ever changing.

For the past 5 months, I’ve been in a season of uncertainty and rest. Uncertainty of what medical testing would reveal but a season of rest and assurance that God loves me and knows every single detail of my life.

I’ve wanted to write and share my stories with you but God has shown me that rest requires more than just sleeping; it also requires my mind to be still and wait for Him. Being still has always been challenging for me. If anything needs done, I would figure a way to do it; even if it caused pain.

I’m no quitter.

In my Season of Rest, Jesus has taught me to rely on others, accepting help from people who genuinely care for me and want nothing in return. I am good at nurturing others, but have found it hard to accept that love from other people until recently.

Upon finding out I actually did have Endometrial cancer, part of me was relieved and part of me concerned. I’ve left it in God’s hands and am trusting He will continue to carry me and hold me always.

As Friday approaches, I will admit I’m.a little nervous. This IS major surgery. I will be intubated and I keep praying my lungs and their capacity to work correctly will not be hindered by my weight. If I was laying flat and not head angled down, I wouldn’t be as concerned. As always I am choosing to trust the Lord to be my strength thru it all.

Every medical obstacle that Satan has thrown at me; The Great Physician and Healer, Jesus Christ our Lord has seen me thru. Now will be no different.

I always remember the verse about even if my faith is the size of a mustard seed and I believe, it’s enough. My faith is much bigger than that because of all the things God has brought me thru, but even in the times in my life when my faith could be called mustard seed faith, it still carried me.

I guess what I am really trying to express is hold onto your faith, trust in the Hope Jesus can bring. Allow Him into your heart and life and He will take your messiness and turn it into a message and testimony giving Him all glory and honor and praise!

Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test, trial and temptation into a testimony.

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all~Jesus Loves You!

The New Normal

Hebrews 13:8 New Life Version (NLV)
8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

 

Shelter in place, stay at home, flatten the curve, pandemic are all terms of the new normal time we are living in. Respirator masks, face masks, quarantine, outbreaks…none of this was on my radar or in my mind, much before March 12 or 13th. The only worry and concern I had back then was what in the world were we as a family going to do to keep our autistic grandson entertained for a whole week while his school was on Spring Break. And we are still working to figure that out.

person washing his hand
Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

I was reading the other day that January 30, 2020 was when the WHO (World Health Organization) declared a Public Health Emergency of International Concern for the novel coronavirus,( named on February 20, 2020) Covid-19.

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Impulsive Behaviors

I sit here with tears streaming down my face and wonder if we will ever have a peaceful day with Tyson.

I love him but I hate when he destroys things just because. There is no talking about why we don’t break things.

This is the part of adhd and autism I hate. I hope as he grows older it will get better.

I’m tired of this.

Today, I’m praying thru the tears asking God what I am supposed to learn from this~I haven’t a clue right now.

I want our happy go lucky boy back. I miss him.

May you know how much Jesus loves you. He is always available-no appointments necessary.

Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

Clean Slate

As 2019 draws to a close, my prayer for each of you is that 2020 will be your best year yet.

Sickness plagued me the last half of the year. And as I continue to recover this blog has suffered too.

It is my fervent prayer that not only will you see God in every detail of your life you will also sense Him with you always.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

2020 is but moments away…a Clean slate to write your story.

May you always know how much Jesus loves you! He can turn any mess into a message and any test we face into a testimony!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Happy New Year 2020!

Blessings,

Carlene

My Mind

Hello everyone! I am still here. I am finding it much more difficult to write because focusing and concentrating requires a lot more effort than I have ever had to have, until now. Many days God brings to mind something he wants me to share with you and by the time it is quiet and I can sit down to write, the words are all jumbled in my mind. I know the message is important, but the ease at which I wrote before, isn’t there. It comes in bits and pieces and now I am having to write it down and hope that when I choose to share, it will make sense to you as it does to me.

autumn ripples

I am a person, that admittedly, likes to be in control of at least me and my thoughts. And it’s been hard to put the words into a sentence or paragraph that makes sense.

Romans 8:26 New Living Translation (NLT)
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

I am thankful that when I don’t know the words to use, The Holy Spirit intercedes for me with the Father, Christ Jesus our Lord and shares my prayers and cries. If you know Jesus and have a relationship with Him, he already knows all your needs, but he wants you to tell him and share with him just as you would with your closest friend. He wants to hear about all of your life, the good times, as well as the trying times. Many people cry out in prayer to the Father only when things aren’t going well or they really need his help, but He also wants to share in your joys! And if He doesn’t answer your prayers as you want, then many times, the faith you have suffers, because why would a good God allow bad things to happen? That is the question of the ages. God’s ways are not our own. No matter how much we try and see it from a perspective of God, we will never understand it. There are many mysteries that will not be revealed until He is ready to reveal them.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

And just as I don’t understand why my mind is affected in this way as a result of surviving sepsis, I know that God has a plan and I will continue to trust Him as it unfolds. Sometime’s we have to get to the end of ourselves, so we can see God working in our lives. To fully rely on Him, means we must be willing to give up what we think is best and trust Him.

It is and can be scary, the unknown; but God will never put you in harm’s way and never allow the temptation to be more than you can bear.

1 Corinthians 10:13 English Standard Version (ESV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

No matter what challenge you are facing today or heartache, please know Jesus Loves you too much to leave you where you are at. He is always with you. Jesus can turn any mess in your life into a message and any test you face into a testimony! Never give up. Jesus loves you!#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

Before & After

bEFORE AND aFTER

 

I’ve read that when people grieve they can break it down into two times. Before and After. Before the loss and after the loss. I know this is true. I also know that this just doesn’t apply to the loss of a loved one. It’s also the loss of a function.

Before sepsis, my memory was rock solid. Retaining anything was easy. Sometime’s I had to write it down, but once I had spoken it, read it or wrote it, it was easy to remember. After sepsis, I am finding that the only short term memory I have is in the moment. The moment it is being read, written down or spoken. THIS frustrates me so much, I don’t even know the proper way to express it as to how much it does.  I need notes to remind me that I know something and even then the notes aren’t always helpful.  Memory has never been something I have had trouble with and now anything that happened before sepsis is easily pulled from my memory and easily shared. After the illness and hospital stay, everything spoken or read becomes lost. And it’s scary.

As I sit and read The Word, I am glad that I knew God, Jesus and His Word before sepsis, otherwise, I might read something but have no way of retaining it or understanding it.

In His Word, it tells us to be thankful in all circumstances, with prayer and petition.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.-1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

I wouldn’t wish this life-changing sepsis (aka septic shock/septicemia) on anyone. It is dangerously devastating to your body, mind and can be fatal if not caught in time. However, going through this almost fatal health scare( had I not went to the hospital at the time I did, I would have died)  has taught me to take care of my needs and myself: physically, mentally and most of all spiritually. To be thankful and content in and at all times. To be grateful and have a heart of gratitude for what I do have, for the millions of blessings God bestows upon me daily and for the many times he has kept me from harm.

Many things have changed in me and for me since before and after sepsis, but I am glad to still be here, very much alive, working on progressing to wellness again and thankful I can still share about Jesus and the love he has for all of us.

There are many things we go through and the one thing I have learned through all the painful pruning the Lord does with me is everything is for a purpose and a plan. His purpose and His plans. He continues to work in and through me, and in and through my pastors, friends and family members to teach and rebuke me when needed, to encourage me and strengthen me when I am weak and to continually pour out His peace and His joy and His love into me and my life.

Refining and purifying is a painful process. But in order for you and me to bear good fruit to share with others, we have to go through these processes and weed out what is not from Him. As you grow in your faith, there will be many things you will go through and each one will shape you into the person God has created you to be. I am working on not being resistant to the process. Some moments are more painful than others, but all are necessary.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~right now and always. Jesus Christ is my everything and that is one thing that has not changed. He was my everything before sepsis and He is my everything after sepsis. Having sepsis and recovering from it, has made me realize how much I rely on Jesus and how difficult it would be for me to make it through the rough days without it. I am so thankful I have my Savior, Jesus Christ with me daily.

Blessings~Carlene

Thanks, Dad!

Psalm 68:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.

 

Today is Father’s Day. I miss my daddy so much. I am 54 years old and I will always call him daddy. He went home to our Heavenly Father in September of 2015. Seems like just yesterday. I still remember hugging him and telling him I loved him, as I left him that day, in his home in Florida, because I couldn’t miss any more work. I knew it wouldn’t be long and he would be home where he longed to go. I think of him all the time, and want so bad to pick up the phone and just hear his voice. But I sense him every now and then, and I know he’ s keeping an eye on me from there. I know I will see him again and that will be a joyous day for sure!

I want to say thank you, daddy, for always teaching me what being a parent is. That being friends with your children isn’t because you don’t love them; it isn’t because you aren’t cheering them on to be the best person they can be; it is because you can’t be a parent to them and raise them and be their best friend. It took me many years as a parent myself to understand that. But when I was in my teens and wanted my daddy to be my friend, I just was crushed that he told me in no uncertain terms, “I’m not your pal, I’m not your buddy, I’m your dad.” Period.

And let’s face it, we can have great relationships with our parents, our fathers, but we can’t have it both ways growing up. As a child, we need our parents to set boundaries and being a friend can get sticky because friends do things with you, parents would absolutely say no to. He was very wise. Always. He taught me about Jesus. He taught me about helping others; wanting nothing in return. He taught me about life and how to get through it when all I wanted to do was give up. He taught me that giving up isn’t an option. Life isn’t fair. Get over it. Move on. He taught me what it means to respect others, especially those older than you. I never had to doubt the type of man he was, because he lived it daily. He showed me what a good work ethic was and what it meant to have one. He embodied integrity and being honest to a fault. He showed me that when you make a promise, you follow through. Your words mean something. And like me, he didn’t know how to give a “reader’s digest” version of anything. I get that from him. He taught me about so many things in the 50 years he was my daddy, that there isn’t enough space to write it all down, but I hold it dear to my heart and think of the great times we had together. I miss him so very much.

12002285_10153693477532317_59695028194444929_n IMG_20150409_185650_610 Daddy memorial

 

This message is for any person that is a father to a child(and let me be clear, anyone can be a sperm donor, but it takes a real man to be a father). To the men that step up and become a father by choice or chance, Happy Father’s Day! To the men that share those sleepless nights with others, coach their children’s little league teams, when they could be doing a thousand other things, to the daddies that hold their child’s fingers in the NICUs of the world, to the ones that are about to become a dad, Happy Father’s Day!

And to the moms, grandparents, and others that don’t have a “father” in your child’s life, this day is for you too. For the many male role-models in the lives of children, that show them how to do things most father’s do, thank you.

We have two grandchildren that do not have their “donors” in their lives. Their choice. Yes, I may be a bit bitter about it, but these children will never know that they aren’t loved and cared for because there are men in their lives that fill the gap. Maybe one day they will ask, why they don’t have a daddy and I know God will give me the wisdom to say the right words at the right time.

Psalm 103:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

And thank you to our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ our Lord, for being the Father that is always here for us, no matter what. Thank you for the unconditional love you have for each of us and the unmerited grace and mercy you shower upon us each and every day. Happy Father’s Day, Lord!

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! Right now and always!

Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony!

#HOPEALWAYSHAVE FAITH

Blessings~Carlene