Gift of Love

James 1:17 New International Version (NIV)
17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

 

As I sit here this morning, watching the snow fall outside my window, it reminds me of how the Father covers us.  When we come to know Jesus Christ and accept Him as our Lord and Savior, he covers us by the sacrifice of his blood on the cross. And we are made pure in his sight, white as snow.

I’ve always said I don’t like snow and I have to confess I love watching it fall outside my window, I simply don’t care for the cold temperatures associated with falling precipitation.  Earlier, gazing out my window, I saw a muddied yard, with brown, lifeless trees and now I see white all around, and everything appears pristine and fresh.

2 Corinthians 5:17 New Living Translation (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

No matter who you were or how your life was before Jesus, you are given a new life, one held together with love, mercy, and grace. Your sins are covered by the blood of the Lamb, similar to how God covers the muddled, messy ground with freshly fallen snow.

There is not one of us that can claim to be Holy or Righteous without the Cross. Jesus bore the sins of the world so we could be reconciled to God. When sin entered the garden, it separated us from God. With Jesus’ death on the cross, it gives us atonement for our sins, once and for all. When we come to Jesus, repent of our sins, and choose to follow Him, we are considered children of God. Jesus is the bridge that brings us back to a Father that sin keeps us from.  Living a life as a Christian isn’t easy.  He died for us so we could live life abundantly.  He didn’t promise there wouldn’t be problems, but in life and in death, he showed us how to live and overcome hate.

love hearts

Live your life with purpose, choose Joy that only God can give. Accept peace and hope as the things we seek and cling to. Live passionately, love extravagantly, Choose life. We are only given one chance to get this right. Choose to love others, help those that need help, pray and expect miracles. Leave a legacy.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~right where you are, right now!

Blessings~Hope Always, Have Faith

Carlene

 

Advertisements

“Go Away!”

Go Away is a phrase we hear all the time when Tyson doesn’t want to do something.  It’s easy for him to get his point across, instead of trying to put the words in an entire sentence.  My husband and I heard those words this morning, as we were working on getting his coat on for school.

Tyson has been sick for over a week, not with the flu, thank goodness, just a nasty cold that didn’t want to leave. So, for him, having a structured routine that had become anything but structured the last week, he was used to staying at home and sleeping much later in the day.

His vocabulary is getting bigger every day. For that, we are so thankful and praise the Lord daily for opening up his mind to be able to put his thoughts into words, even when he shouts and kicks and struggles to get away and says, “go away!”

Two years ago, he only had two words. Two. Ma & Da. And the only person he has ever called ‘da’ is his papaw.  Now, he addresses his mother as Meem, I have no idea how that came about, except he has always called me Maw (for mamaw) and there were times he would say mom, to his mother, but then one day, wanting to get her attention, he shouted “Meem,” and it stuck! His style of communicating is music to our ears, even though they are in short one-three word sentences. And the hardest part is understanding him because he struggles with middle and ending sounds of words. But, I have no doubt, as we continue to work with him, through his Prompt trained SLP (Speech-Language Pathologist), his wonderful Play Project Developmental Specialist and at home, those sounds will come, eventually. We still use PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System=Visual Supports) and occasionally sign language, along with his voice.

He was amicable to getting dressed and even eating breakfast, which is usually a struggle this early in the day. but when it came time to put his coat and hat on, the battle ensued. Most people can’t imagine it would take two grown adults, one holding onto him for dear life, while the other works to get the coat on and keep it on, long enough to get it zipped and snapped  He was determined he was not going to school. As he slid off my lap, onto the floor and Mike trying to keep his arms in his jacket, asked Tyson, “don’t you want to go to school and see your friends?” He replies, “no friends, home.” Five minutes before the bus came, he was in his coat and hat, but still saying, “go away.”

As he begrudgingly took da’s hand and walked out to board the bus, I realized it’s like starting all over again. When his routine is disrupted, it usually takes a week or two to get back in the habit of everything and how hard that must be. It’s almost like an adult that gets to go on vacation or take time off from work, getting back into the swing of things isn’t always pleasant when you would much rather stay curled up under the covers.  I am thankful that he is feeling well enough to go to school so he can get back into the game of learning, but so we can have a short break. TYSON BUS

We love this little guy, but we didn’t plan on having a small child to care for at this stage in our lives, so even a short 3-hour respite is welcome!

Every child is a gift from God. Every child is a blessing. Tyson has many struggles that at times can seem insurmountable, but we get through it because we love him. 

Until autism became part of our lives, I never fully understood the impact it can have on a family unit. It changes your perspective on so many things, but the one thing that it has done for me is to remind myself that everyone on this earth has struggles and challenges. Many are unseen.  I can’t see the sensory processing difficulties he has until he starts jumping off of furniture and climbing all over the place, I don’t realize he is missing something until he wants to be tickled and then laughs and gasps for air, says “go away,” and in the same breath, says “more tick”. He is overcoming his tactile challenges with PlayDoh and sand, and will even eat pasta as long as it doesn’t have cheese on it. I thought every child loved mac-n-cheese!  He loves cheese and he loves elbow macaroni, but not together. 

I can’t wait to talk to him about his day. I do most of the talking. Asking yes or no questions to find out what he did in class. And I am sure his first day back, those questions will have to wait until he wakes up. I know when he gets home, he will be asleep on the bus and we will carry him in and lay him down and enjoy just watching him sleep. It is peaceful in these moments. But once he is awake, then the fun will begin. Jumping, climbing, dumping his toy bins, creating what seems like a danger zone to walk through, but he loves having all his toys surround him. I think it makes him feel more connected.  If you are a parent or caregiver of someone with Special Needs, take a break when you need it, don’t give up hope, celebrate every single accomplishment they make and know you are not alone in this. All of us need one another to make it through this thing called life.

Heavens Very Special Child 2

 

Romans 5:4-5 The Message (MSG)
3-5 There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience, in turn, forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

 

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right where you are in this moment!

Blessings~Carlene

 

Reflections

As I sit here thinking back on the last several weeks, I am reminded how precious our time is here on earth and how important it is to live our lives to the fullest every single moment we are given and whatever we choose to do, we do it with unbridled passion. Near the beginning of the month, a lifelong friend, that had so courageously battled cancer and never given up hope that she would survive, was killed by her husband.  

She cherished life and her children/grandchildren. She loved her friends and always had something positive to say, no matter how bleak things were for her. She was always smiling, for as long as I can remember. Always smiling on the outside. Always a kind word. And the last time I had spoken to her weeks before her death, she was still hopeful and joyful, even though, as it turns out her life was less than joyful. She chose to live life in such a manner to leave a legacy of loving others with kindness and compassion. She will never be forgotten. She touched so many lives while she was here.  

After the news of her death and paying respects, joining in the sorrow of the loss that many of us feel and celebrating who she was, I realized that none of us know the time or day God will call us home. So, with the time I have, I better us it wisely.`

Prior to the first of the year, I had prayed and planned and envisioned what 2018 was going to look like, what I was going to strive for and what my theme for this new year would look like. My theme is the same: Focus on God, Be Intentional and Savor the Moments of Life. My visions have shifted.

I realized that as I attempted to build an online business with Plexus Worldwide as an Independent Ambassador, I loved connecting with others and offering them hope, through health and wellness supplements, I did not like the “business” side of it. No matter how many customers I gained or other people that signed up to do the same, that is not where my heart lies. I could go on living that lie, or I could get real and realized that God has a different plan for me. When doing something that you are not 100% all in, no matter how much you try to convince yourself, there will always be feelings of resentment or maybe resentment isn’t the right word, but feeling like if I continued on that path, my family and I were suffering, emotionally.  I just knew that it was preventing me from being the person I was created to be.  I will always have GREAT things to say and share about Plexus and the products they offer, and I will continue to use them because they have helped me to feel so much better, but this is not where my joy comes from.

Jesus is my joy! Reading the Word, learning Truth, sharing the Good News that is where I find my joy, that is where I feel fulfilled. Hope comes in many forms and loving others comes naturally to me. I always look for the positive in any situation. I choose to show grace and mercy as much as humanly possible. I have many flaws, as do others, but I look for the good.  There is so much evil in this world, so much hatred and greed and people that are all about themselves, I don’t care to watch the news anymore. That’s all you see most of the time. It’s sad, but the one thing that never ever changes is Jesus. He is the same today, as he was 2000+ years ago, and he will be the same 2000 years from now. He is the one constant in my life. He is my Lord and Savior and He is my friend. 

He has seen me go through so much in my lifetime, and He still loves me. He weeps when I weep and he rejoices when I rejoice. My life has been far from perfect, there have been many choices I have made that have caused others to hurt, emotionally and as he works with me to realize that there is nothing I can do to be perfect this side of Heaven, he has taught me that forgiveness and love can cover over a multitude of anger, hate, evil and despair. When the demands of being a wife, mother, sister, grandmother, and friend become overwhelming, when there isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish all you hope to or need to, when the expenses outweigh the income, He always provides a way for things to work out. When you feel like you are in a tunnel and the walls are closing in, He is the One who lights the path and helps me to hold it all together. Days when I feel like screaming or crawling in a hole somewhere, He is with me. He comforts me. He lives within me. He guides me. 

I sit here in the midst of chaos. Toys spewed all over, crumbs left on the floor by a toddler, laundry overflowing that needs to be folded, dishes stacked high waiting to be washed, bills stacked up and I can choose to do two things, I can look at them as blessings in disguise or I can choose to be angry that no one else seems to notice. 

I choose to see everything in my life as blessings.  There are toys because He gave us this gift in the form of an inquisitive young child that wants to know how everything works and why the wheels spin on the toy truck, or loves the idea of the “black” sweeper, even though he can’t handle the noise of it, the crumbs and the dishes piled high mean there is food in our home to nourish our physical bodies, the laundry means we are fortunate enough to have more than one outfit to wear and a washer/dryer to care for those outfits.  The mess all around is contained by these four walls, we have a home to live in and a roof over our heads.  As I sit here typing this, I am watching my grandson, shred a piece of paper all over the floor, knowing that is just one more thing on my ever-growing list, but my life without him would be so lackluster and boring.

Every single child is a gift and a blessing. Some require more care than others. Extra care that you aren’t sure what that looks like or if it will ever happen where less one on one care will happen, but you embrace them. You love them. Living with someone on the Autism Spectrum is overwhelming, rewarding, crazy, chaotic and sometimes very stressful. Being able to cry out to Jesus and sit with Him in the midst of the chaos, keeps me sane. I think.

If you are living a life that is not what you want, you do have the power within yourself to make the changes.  It may not be easy, it might be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you are worth it.

May you know that Jesus Loves You~right where you are.

Blessings~Carlene

Rest in the arms of Jesus Sam! I love you and miss you deeply. (Samantha Howard Freels, July 7, 1965 – January 12, 2018)

Samantha

 

 

Hope & Healing

God promises that He has a plan for our lives, He promises that he will give us abundant life, He promises to keep us safe from harm and He promises to give us HOPE and a future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”-Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

This particular scripture has been my “go to” Life Verse for as long as I can remember. Many days when I was struggling to keep my emotions in check and appear that I had it all together, when in fact, I did not, this one verse became my lifeline. I would remind myself over and over that God had promised he had a plan for me. Plans to prosper me and these plans would not hurt me and they would give me hope and a future.  And knowing the God of the Universe cared enough about me and my life, has always been enough to keep me going.

In 2008, I took a bad fall down a flight of stairs and then my life started changing dramatically. I started having continuous chronic widespread pain, that never went away but would become worse if I overdid it. My fatigue levels were crazy! Taking power naps anymore just wasn’t enough to keep me going on long days. And if I didn’t get enough rest, the pain was almost unbearable and there was no relief in sight. Every time I spoke to my physician about how  I was feeling, I would constantly hear, “we can’t find anything wrong” “your blood work looks normal” “as you get older, your body is going to have aches and pains” “you must be imagining it” “there is nothing we can do” and the list goes on. Talk about feeling hopeless.  But then I would think… God says HE has a plan for me. So even though I can’t see any good coming from all I am going through, I am going to TRUST Him, because I know His plans are so much better than I could ever imagine or dream.

Eleanor Roosevelt quote

In 2010, I finally found a doctor that was willing to listen. After two years of complaining to numerous doctors, getting labs done, imaging tests, exams and even counseling, finally someone was willing to look through my charts and see a pattern emerging and sent me to a Rheumatologist that confirmed her suspicions. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder for which there is no known cure and treatments that work for some people have no effect on others. Along with this new found diagnosis, I learned that my energy levels would soon become very precious to me and I would have to pick and choose what I did each day.  It has been said in medical journals and research that most people that develop this specific illness usually happens as a result of trauma to the body or caused or brought on by added stress to the body.  I believe the result of this diagnosis was in direct correlation to the traumatic fall I had when I fell down a flight of stairs, face first and landed with physical injuries that healed, but trauma to my entire body in the fall set off the chain of events that led to the chronic condition.

Fast forward to May of last year (2017), in this blog, I wrote about how this disorder was like living in a prison. And 7 months ago, I had pretty much given up hope, I was clinging to the verse that God had plans for me, but it wasn’t the strong faith I had always had, it was mustard seed faith. I was beginning to think that, for whatever reason, that I was being allowed to go through this type of suffering, I just couldn’t see that anything good could come from it.  (Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.) But, I chose to trust in the Lord and all His promises, even though I couldn’t see the light at the end of my dark tunnel. My faith had carried me all my life since I was a young girl and I wasn’t going to let this disorder change me like that.

And then the most amazing thing happened, God sent a messenger to me and she gave me hope.  No promises, but renewed hope. Did He see how my hope was faltering? Did He know that I was losing hope and that my faith was weak? OR Had this been part of His plan all along and now the pieces were finally falling into place?

I choose to believe that everything that led up to that day in May when I had lost almost all hope and was only hanging on by a thread of faith was all part of God’s Plan for my life.  Why do I choose to believe it?? Because I am a walking miracle!!!

After trying all kinds of prescription medications, physical therapies, and various medical solutions, none of which provided relief from the constant pain I was in, God was and is using plant-based supplements to heal my body from the inside out! I am forever grateful that I chose to listen with an open mind and heart when His messenger reached out to me.

I will admit that I was very skeptical that any type of supplement/vitamin could work for what I had been suffering from for over 7+ years. But then I thought, what have I got to lose?? If it didn’t work, then it didn’t work, but what if it did???  Trust me when I say this when you live with any type of chronic condition, and have tried just about everything the medical profession throws at you and nothing helps, the thought of taking supplements almost seems crazy, but I figured that was the only thing I hadn’t tried yet, so why not?

God/Jesus Christ is Sovereign, He Reigns Above ALL. He can heal people in whichever way He chooses. And He decides whether our physical infirmities are healed this side of Heaven or not. I firmly believe that. Jesus healed our souls when He died on the Cross.

(Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes, we are healed (our souls have been healed, cleansed, made right with God so we can live eternally with him).

Since starting these amazing plant-based supplements, and getting to the root issues of the diseases and disorders that I have been living with for years, my body is starting to heal from the inside out. No, they are not magic. Yes, you do have to be consistent in taking them, every day. Getting enough hydration through water, which our bodies need to function properly, as God designed them, and making better food choices, and yes, even exercise~all of that together, along with these supplements loaded with prebiotics, probiotics, magnesium, and many other vitamins and minerals our bodies need to function (without sugar, gluten or GMOs)  is transforming how I feel and how I look!

God gave me my life back and now I choose to share with anyone that is willing to listen that there is HOPE. It comes in many forms. And for each of us, it may be different. But the one thing He promises is we can always have Hope. Hope in a God that loves us so much that He died upon a cross for us.

There’s this company based out of Scottsdale, Arizona that cares about people and their health and happiness. They care for their customers, their Ambassadors that have come to not only know the amazing products and the benefits of the products because for most of us, we are a product of the products. We all have our own stories to tell of how choosing to take a chance with Plexus Worldwide has not only given us our health back but has given us hope when we didn’t have any left.

sluggish

I thank God every single day that He is allowing me to live again. I would much rather live with the aid of supplements that are created with plants, and a few products have New Zealand Green Lipped Mussels in them, that God provides for all of us, than to rely on synthetic/genetically modified medications created by man.

God has always provided for our needs~all of them. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. And the good that came from what I went through, well now I can understand how others may be feeling and offer them not only comfort but hope.

May you know how very much Jesus Loves You~right now in this moment and always!

Blessings and thanks for stopping by! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

 

~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sharing Hope

Today was such a great day for me, because not only did I get to share my love of Jesus with a good friend, but I also was able to offer hope and encouragement, which is the one thing I know God has called me to do. It’s as much a part me as breathing is to other people. Faithhopelove

And God will use whatever tools are at His disposable to get His message out about forgiveness, grace, loving others and being a light in this dark world we live in. And, when I need to be reminded of the blessings I have in my life, which sometime’s, I take for granted He gently reminds me to look at the big picture-His picture.

I had plans to meet an old friend for lunch, to catch up with one another and to ultimately answer her questions about these amazing plant-based supplements that I had been taking and was seeing such powerful, amazing results from.

I did get to share with her how the chronic pain and fatigue that I have experienced for the better part of the last 10 years, was gone. Is gone. I did get to share with her how I don’t experience joint pain anymore. I was elated to tell her that not only had I dropped a size in my pants and was slimming down and had this unimaginable sustained energy all day long, but for the first time in years, I could focus and concentrate and my thinking was sharper.  And I owed it all to God for orchestrating the amazing gift of health and healing through the use of these supplements.

As I shared all this with her, I realized that the same hope that my friend shared with me, I was sharing with her. Being able to offer someone hope, when they are feeling so poorly and can’t imagine that there is anything that can make them feel alive again, alive in the sense that you don’t have to be bedridden or live on your couch or do the very bare minimum in your life, that’s huge. I know, because I was there. And that really isn’t living. You merely exist. You cry behind closed doors. You put a smile on your face and you “fake” it. Until you can’t fake it anymore.  You seek help from your doctor, specialists, diets, alternative therapies, you name it-you try it and then one day, you decide enough is enough. It is what it is. I just have to learn to live with it. Until there is a cure or a proven treatment, I’m done. Done being a guinea pig.  You modify the way you do everything. And every single day, you pray. You ask God, “Why?” and sometime’s you don’t know why, but you love God and you Trust Him. Because you know His Plan is always better. And that is where I was six months ago. I was done. I would live with what was going on in my body and I would trust God for the outcome.

Now, remember, His Plans are always best. When my friend suggested that I try these supplements, I must admit, I rolled my eyes and I laughed inwardly.  Why in the world, would “vitamins” help me when nothing else had? But, and here’s the big thing, I knew that God played role in me trying them. I knew that my friend wouldn’t just suggest something if she didn’t wholeheartedly believe that was what God was telling her to share with me. And I prayed about it. And there was peace. Peace only He can give.  So, I said, ok, let’s try them.  And not only did I try them, I started seeing results within the first three weeks (this isn’t the case for everyone-but God knew I needed the reassurance that I was on the right path) and by eight weeks, I was pinching myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming and by 12 weeks, I was feeling the best I had felt in 10 years (520 weeks)!

And then I started thinking about all the things I was able to do that would seem simple to other people. For instance, going out to lunch to meet a friend. I wouldn’t have even considered that 6 months ago. By the time I would have woken up, showered, dressed and made it downstairs, my energy would have been gone. And I would have had to cancel or realistically, I wouldn’t have even set up a date for lunch for fear I would have had to cancel once again.  And if I was having a good day, back then, and I actually made it to our meeting place, sitting for over 3 hours, laughing, talking, sharing our faith with one another, the pain of sitting for that long would have definitely been something I paid for with flare-ups and agony for weeks to come.

So, yes, I am very thankful that I chose to try these supplements and I will never be without them. I am so very thankful that my friend was obedient in sharing them with me and listening to the Lord. plexus journey

I share my story because I know there are other people, much like my friend today, that have struggled with many health issues that nothing seems to help and like me, she is sick and tired of being sick and tired. I shared my story with her and offered her hope and healing her body from the inside out. We all have root issues that need to be addressed, instead of putting “band-aids” on the problem. And getting to the root of the issues is what these amazing plant-based supplements do. They focus on gut health and once your gut is healed and your body is balanced, other things fall into place. Is it a “magic pill”, nope. Everyone’s story is different. Everyone’s journey is different. It isn’t a quick fix. But they do work. And I will continue to share my story with anyone and everyone because that’s what God is leading me to do.

And in the midst of our super long lunch date, we talked about our faith and how God stretches us and grows us and pulls us out of our nice, cozy comfort zones. First thing, is we have to be willing. It’s easy to say, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. It’s another thing to truly follow Him and His leading. After walking with Him, for over 40 years now, I still falter more times than I care to admit; I struggle with some things that I know He wants me to do and yes, I even argue with Him. I never win. It usually just prolongs things to where I have to ask for His forgiveness and go and do it. Do it scared sometimes. But the blessings that I get, the amazing love that I witness, because I chose to listen to our Heavenly Father far outweighs the fear. Love casts out fear.

I was reminded today, that the enemy will do whatever he thinks is necessary to spur doubt in our minds and hearts. He definitely does not like it when believers gather and profess the love of Jesus and His unfailing mercy and grace. Light always penetrates the darkness. And as long as I have breath, I will share Jesus’ story of redemption, hope, and grace.

May you know how much Jesus Christ loves you ~ right where you are, right now. He is always available to you.

Many blessings~Carlene

 

 

Subtle Differences

In the past few days, I have been pushed around, challenged to hold true to my faith and always remember that there is a reason for everything and God is in control.  I haven’t been pushed around by bullies but by this mysterious disorder known to many as Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder.

For the last year and 4 months, autism has lived in our home, officially.  And while, we have learned many things, and learned how to cope and work with this mystery, I am learning that it truly is a lifelong learning process, not just for our grandson who has autism, but for those of us that love this little guy and want so much for his life to be as normal as possible.

We can’t go to the park or even in the backyard unless there is a minimum of three adults with him. Why? Because he is a runner. He loves to run, and he doesn’t care if he is running down into a creek bed of freezing cold water or into the street with traffic. When he starts running, no amount of hollering at him to stop, or calling his name works.  Which means you have to run just as fast as he does or faster in hopes you can catch him before he enters the danger zone. This was the case yesterday morning when he figured out how to get out the front door, off the porch and ran into the backyard in his pajamas of shorts/shirt and socks in 20-degree weather. He was on a mission to get to his swing set.  He is a sensory seeker, which is part of his sensory processing disorder, he is looking for things that will fill the need of whatever stimulation he is missing and he will climb on anything, regardless if it is meant for climbing or safe to be doing so. EVERY DAY is a battle. And if he doesn’t have something solid to climb upon, he will use a toy or toys stacked up and attempt to do the climbing.

He figures ways to climb over the safety gates that are installed to keep him safe, on end tables and desktops if he sees something he wants or wants to investigate. And then he will jump off of them, regardless of how high up it is or what may be in his jump zone that could be dangerous or harmful to him.

Tyson Cliimbing

He doesn’t like loud noises and as much as he does well at his preschool in a small group of people, he doesn’t like a lot of people in one space. There are times he will run and hide in a wooden cabinet or under a table or cover himself with a blanket, so he is safe and hidden from the world. As he becomes stronger with each passing day, it is difficult to keep him reigned in one area. At age 3, he weighs 38 pounds and is over 3 feet tall.  Putting things up out of his reach is not as easy as they were a year ago. He has always had great strength since birth. Never needed help holding his head up, although we did.

He slides down the wooden stairs on his belly, feet first, and laughs and giggles when he gets to the bottom, running up to do it all over again. I hold my breath a lot. I am so afraid he will seriously hurt himself, but I’ve come to realize that the vestibular input and proprioceptive input he gets from doing a thing like this, he can’t get any other way. Or no way that he likes so far. His mini trampoline, use to provide enough input, he didn’t need more aggressive forms, but now the trampoline just isn’t enough. He can be very aggressive at times, and its hard to try to explain to him that he can’t headbutt others or constantly bang his head on the floor or the wall.  I know I am not the only person that has lived with a child like this, there are many of us that live in silence, because people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, can’t begin to imagine what it is truly like. And then there are sweet calm moments, like right now, where he climbs on my lap, gives me a hug, lays his head on my shoulder, just for a moment to take a break from his high-strung activities and lets me know he loves me and for a moment all is peaceful. But it usually doesn’t last very long.

Each one of us is a work in progress, from the day we are born.  Life experiences shape who we become and why we act the way we do. For most children, language develops at 6 months.  It may just be babbling, but it is a form of language. Speaking and language development is crucial to know if your child has a problem or a developmental delay in communication. By 18 months, he still wasn’t saying anything except ma and da.  Not even mama or Dada, And every time we saw the pediatrician, we were assured that he had done so many other things, early (sitting, crawling, walking) that he was just gonna be slower with talking because he was busy. Repeated attempts to have him tested fell on deaf ears. Well-meaning friends and family offered advice.  Here’s my two cents on this matter: If you think your child has any type of developmental delay, press for the physician to make the referral for testing, to determine what the problem is. You know your child, You spend the most time with them.  I am glad we finally found a doctor that was willing to listen to our concerns and give us the referral we needed.

When he was diagnosed at 26 months, he had just those two words and very little eye contact with anyone. Thanks to early intervention services, speech therapist, developmental specialists, and lots of work at home with him, he was able to start preschool this year, four days a week for a few hours a day. He started with 40 words, well under what a normal two-year-old would have and some of the 40 words were his “made up” words for objects he knew about.  Now after being in preschool for over 2 1/2 months his vocabulary is growing and he is just starting to put two or more words together to form two-word phrases. Since being in therapy, we have learned that his language delays are both expressive and receptive language delays. So his understanding is limited right now, but he is learning and he is thriving.

We are very fortunate that while most children on the spectrum have struggled with sleep, he is not one of them. There is always something to be thankful for. Always.

And when I want to sit and cry because life isn’t fair, and these were the cards we were dealt, I could be angry with God and I could wonder why him? But I am reminded of a story in the Bible, that puts it into perspective the best.

John 9:1-5New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 2 “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?”

3 “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. 4 We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us.[a] The night is coming, and then no one can work. 5 But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world.”

I don’t know why our grandson has Autism, but I do know that God will work it all out. I know that I have learned many things about this Spectrum Disorder and while he is learning his way and knowledgeable about many things he can’t share with us yet, I see it every day.  He is very smart for a three-year-old. He loves to fiddle with things and take them apart to see how they work, he might be an engineer someday or maybe even a teacher. He is learning what numbers are and what they mean, learning about colors and shapes and loving every minute of it. He is slowly starting to interact with others, and I am thankful for that. At home, his interactions are that of a typical child, in public, it’s a slow process, but a process just the same. He uses a combination of spoken words, pictures, and sign language to request what he wants. Most of the time, we understand, the frustrating times comes when there is no picture and he tries and tries and still we don’t understand. As much as it is frustrating for us, I can only begin to imagine how frustrating it is for him.

His memory is excellent. If he has experienced it, he can share in one-word utterances the details. We have been talking to him lately about getting his hair cut.  It’s way too long for our liking, but he is very sensitive to anyone touching his head or messing with it in any way. But he remembers his first haircut. We took him to a local salon. (Me, his grandfather and mother whom he refers to as maw, da, and meem) And we rode in da’s car and boo boon (and papaw drove and after the haircut, they gave him a blue balloon).

But it was not a fun experience. It took two of us to hold him, while the stylist, tried using scissors to trim his hair nice and neat and we ended up getting a buzz cut because that was the fastest (and probably the most painful for him, i.e. loud, vibrating noise).

As I finish this out for today, he is pacing around the living room, with his shoes on and his backpack, he’s waiting for the bus. It will be a long wait, the bus will not be here until tomorrow morning. But telling him that school is closed, telling him there is no bus coming to pick him up, hasn’t worked. So, until he tires of wearing his backpack, he will continue to walk back and forth with the backpack on. Sometime’s he gets “stuck” and because it isn’t harming him to do this, we allow it. It makes him happy.

Isn’t’ that what we all want for our children/grandchildren to live happy, carefree lives. He was sad that we didn’t go to church today. But it is too much on me to try to contain him in the parking lot, while holding his hand, walking with a cane and carrying a purse and diaper bag, so we missed out today. We played together, read the first few pages of a toddler book and he climbed and I held my breath.

And tomorrow, I will do it all over again until he goes into another phase, that no one knows what it will be or what it will look like. And Jesus will get me through it all. He always does.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~he will meet you right where you are.

Blessings to you~Carlene

 

 

Living with Purpose

For many years, I have believed that I was living with purpose and living out the plan and purposes that God has for me and my life.  I love to encourage others to stretch themselves and their faith, and to realize that our faith isn’t dependent on what we do, but what God does in our lives.

Seek Him

God calls us to be bold and to live abundantly, to trust Him for everything we need; HE will always go before us, and HE will equip us with what we need to achieve anything, but we have to have faith in Him.

How many times, in your life do you pray fervently, but see no results? How many days are you down on your knees, pleading with God to help you figure out what you are going through and why are you going through it and what possible purpose will it serve for you to go through the pain and agony you are going through? Often times, what we face in life, our challenges, struggles, our victories, are all leading up to glorifying God and being thankful and grateful that He allows us to go through this things so we can learn to comfort and bless others with our own stories.   The challenge for those of us that are so used to getting quick fixes to problems, is those quick fixes may be temporary solutions to long-term problems. God isn’t here for just a quick fix, he’s here for the long haul. From birth to death and into eternity.  He’s not the type of God that gives you a one time fix and says, “that’s it, you’ve reached your allotment for life, now go figure the rest out on your own, been nice knowing you.”

He is the type of Heavenly Father that weeps when you weep and cheers when you succeed. He loves you with a love like no other and all he asks in return is that you choose Him over anyone or anything else. That you choose to follow Him, to listen to what he tells you and to do two main things: Love Him with everything you are and everything you have and love others.  I have spoken on this before, but I think it is so important that it is repeated until everyone understands and grasps the simplicity of what HE wants from us. Because once you get that, once you understand that Love and everything that comes out of a true, selfless loving heart than you have everything you need to do His work.  And His work will look different in every single life. He calls us to walk with Him, to have a relationship with Him and I know from my own personal experiences in this life when I am walking with Jesus, I see things differently and have a more compassionate heart for people and their struggles.  He doesn’t want us to walk in fear or a belief that I am not good enough, I can’t do this or I can’t do that.  Moses didn’t think he could lead God’s people Israel out of Egpyt, but he did. But it took convincing from God that even though he did not think he was strong enough or people would listen to him, God went before Him and God equipped Moses for everything he needed to do for the Kingdom.

 

I have been reminded of this fact lately in my own life. As many of you know, I have struggled with living in chronic pain for over the last 7+ years.  And I have had to change my way of doing many things and learn to adapt to new circumstances that were entirely out of my control and not only was it very depressing to me, and people that knew and love me, but it was a tremendous burden to my spirit that I could not provide for my family or help with the household income.  And I had pretty much given up any hope of ever feeling truly alive again. I didn’t give up on my faith, my faith in God and His promises is the ONE thing that kept me going. I knew without a shred of doubt that HE has a plan for my life and His plans are always so much bigger than I will ever be able to see.  I also know that if I were to know everything that I would go through and will still go through, it would be too overwhelming for me to handle. So living into my purpose comes in pieces that are tangible for me to understand and grab hold of. And that is why I am who I am and God is who He is. He knows just exactly what I need at the moment and He knows just what you need, nothing more, nothing less.

In June of this year, I received an amazing gift of love from a dear friend that has changed my life forever. I no longer suffer from chronic pain, fatigue or the many other symptoms I was experiencing and I want to share what has helped me to feel alive again and better than I ever have. I want others that suffer from chronic health problems, that believe that all hope is lost and they are destined to continue on the path of pain, fatigue, depression, irritable bowel symptoms, allergies too many to mention, that need to get themselves healthy but have no idea how to do it. I want to share with others that this is not a quick fix or a magic pill you take, and all is better. I want to educate others, as I have learned that many of the autoimmune disorders that people live with and are diagnosed with every single day, can be helped if they understand how their body functions and works. People that want to not only be in their children’s and families lives but actually be able to participate in their lives and be part of them and trust me when I say there is a difference. Watching from the couch or sidelines isn’t a way to live. I did that for many years. I could make plans and then have to cancel them because I just didn’t have the energy required to even get dressed, let alone go anywhere.

Eleanor Roosevelt quote

And I am the type of person when I have something to share, that I believe will benefit others, I want to shout it from the rooftops, and the valleys, but I too struggle with wondering if my voice will be heard. I am human. I have learned that just because people reject what I am sharing with them, doesn’t mean they are rejecting me. And as I grow into this new person I am becoming and learning to love the body I am in, finally, I know that I am doing what I am called to do. Every day when I meet with God in prayer, he confirms this is where He wants me right now. Life is a journey, full of dull, sad, exciting, transforming and unexpected moments.

faith

Had I not chosen to accept a gift of love over 4 months ago, I might still be sitting on the sidelines wondering what it was like to be living life to the fullest every day.  I chose to trust God that His plan was bigger than I could see or envision.  And as I continue to trust in Him, I know that He is using these amazing new products to heal my body from the inside out. I would love to help you if you want to be the best version of you. I would love to know how I can serve you and be a blessing to you, just as my friend was a blessing to me. When you are ready to take your health back and in turn live your best life ever, let me know. I am here and I would love to walk with you in your journey to better health and happiness.

May you always know how much Jesus Loves You and he will meet you right where you are!

Blessings to all of you~thanks for stopping by.

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith