Mr. T. in our World

Tyson Haircut

This is Tyson, Mr. T for short. He is one of our four grandchildren. Because he lives with us, I get to see the changes God is working in his life every single day and what a blessing it is!

Mr. T was so much stronger than many infants his age, he went from scooting around on the floor, to some type of what we affectionately call “leapfrogging” to standing and walking. Crawling never was involved in his learning to get from one place to another. It was a cross between a one leg crawl and a hopping motion all at the same time.

He didn’t verbalize like most children his age and our concerns were waved off, time and time again. By the time he was two, he had 3 words, maybe 4.  The rest of the time we relied on grunts and gestures, pictures and sometimes we gave up but he would persist until we understood him.

He walked at 10 months without assistance and by 12 months, he was running and jumping and climbing.  And again, the language delays were thought to be something he might be slower than others at picking up on, but simply because so many other areas of his development were ahead of the game.

For anyone that loves a person that is developmentally delayed or challenged, you can understand the frustration and irritation that grows when you know there is something different about your special person, but no one will listen. So you read everything you can get your hands on about where a child should be at each stage in their life, you beg for interventions from physicians, but you are put off more than once. We are so thankful that someone did listen, finally. At his two year checkup, with a new pediatrician in place, right away referrals were made and the process began to find out exactly what was going on. Audiological testing to check his hearing; speech testing to determine his level or non-existent levels of voice communications; cognitive testing to determine what he understood and didn’t. Evaluations to determine if he needed additional physical or occupational therapies and then the day of diagnosis arrived.

We weren’t really surprised by the diagnosis just concerned. Where do you go from here? He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 2, requiring substantial support.  What did substantial support mean? Would this be for his entire life, would he outgrow needing support? Would he ever have the ability to speak and communicate?  So many questions. And a million answers, because everyone that has Autism, may have an autism diagnosis, but there is a saying in the Autism community, “If you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with Autism.” Autism Spectrum Disorder affects each individual differently and a treatment or therapy that works well for one person may have no effect on another person.

Fast forward….17 months later and he now has a vocabulary of over 100+ words. I have lost count. Does he use them in sentences or phrases? Not in ones that the world of literature would understand, but he does share with us his needs and wants.  For example, if he wants a bowl of cereal to eat-his request sounds like this “bowl-cereal-milk”.  Short and fast words. If he knows we are going to the store, he may say “maw-car-shop” and his new favorite saying when he wants his favorite candy (M&M’s). “Me-M’s”.

There are times I don’t understand the words he is trying to vocalize and when all else fails, we grab his PECS (Picture Exchange communication system) (also known as visual support pictures) and he goes through the book to convey his needs. We thank God daily that his brain has unlocked his voice and he can use words to communicate with us. We thank the Speech Therapists and Early Intervention Specialists that saw promise and hope in him and never gave up. He has been in Speech Therapy for over a year and a half and (his official diagnosis is Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder)  will continue until such time he no longer requires it.

Living with someone on the spectrum isn’t always easy, but when you love someone, you will do whatever is necessary to help them live the fullest life possible.

He also has a condition known as Sensory Processing Disorder. He is known as a Sensory Seeker that requires a lot of sensory input, he can only get by jumping, spinning, bouncing, playing hard, running fast and stopping, banging his head repeatedly and he does not comprehend the word danger or safe or stop or no when it comes to danger. He is a flight risk. An elopement risk. He is fast. He reminds me of the cartoon character “the Roadrunner” and sometime’s the “Tasmanian devil” all rolled into one. He doesn’t like the floor area to be clean for any length of time, the more mess, and chaos, the better.

But he is also known as a Sensory Avoider when it comes to loud noises, bright lights and the way some clothing or objects feel (tactile). He loves the water. Not drinking it, unless it’s in my cup and then that is a totally different story, but again, he has no sense of danger. The water could be 1 ” deep or 6 ‘ deep and it wouldn’t matter to him, it’s water and he loves playing in it. There have been a few times in the last several months, as the leaves fell from the trees and exposed the creek that runs behind our home that he would find it, on the many days he has escaped from our home. And we are very proactive and have extra locks, up high, presumably so he couldn’t reach them or open the doors to the outside on his own. However, he reminds me of an engineer. He will work at something, until he figures out how it works, to his advantage. Child safety gates used to be enough to keep him contained, but no matter how difficult they may be for an adult to open, he has figured out the mechanisms enough to open them on his own. The same with the door locking mechanisms.  He is very smart.

Going on outings with him require strategic planning. Holding his hand is simply not enough because he has great strength and fortitude and can easily wriggle out of your hold and be gone in a flash.  So now, he wears an Alert Me Band that will alert anyone if he is found running loose on his own that he has Autism and he is a runner and there are phone numbers embedded on the bracelet so we can have contact with them to return him to safety.  That’s just one precaution that is taken. We do not go on many “spur of the moment” trips or spontaneous outings, because one person may not be enough to handle him.  Going to friends’ homes isn’t something we take lightly because telling him not to touch fragile objects or climb isn’t something that he “gets”.

I share all this with you because if you know anyone on the Autism Spectrum when they are well behaved, it takes great strength for them to “hold it all together” to fit into what society accepts as normal behaviors. Most people on the spectrum require a certain level of routines and structure to function without having meltdowns and meltdowns are totally different from tantrums. To view them, they may appear the same. But tantrums are when a child does not get what they want. A meltdown is a reaction to something happening in their brain they have no control over and can’t just “stop it” or “dry it up” and move on. I think that was the hardest concept for us to learn and differentiate between the two.

So, Mr. T. has overcome a lot of delays, but he still has a way to go to be equal to his peers and he may never be equal in the eyes of the world, but he is no less because he is different. His brain is wired differently. He sees things differently and understands them differently. And he is much like any other three year old in many ways. He will push your buttons and see what he can get away with, but doesn’t always understand what he can’t get away with or why it is wrong or dangerous or bad. He knows what hot means, but isn’t afraid to touch something hot, even if he would risk burning himself. The concept of hot is lost and may never be understood. No one knows. Only God knows.

Now, I know this is a lot of information to throw out there, but he is so much a part of our daily life, that I can’t imagine not sharing his story. If his story can help others that are going through what we face every day and it helps to let you know that you are not alone when you get the diagnosis or when someone mentions something that seems foreign to you, don’t fret. It can be overwhelming. But you don’t have to walk alone. There are many support groups and organizations that are available to help you and your special person get the assistance and help they need.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, as many times as you need to. Even if you feel like you already asked the question. And remember, you know your person better than anyone else. You see them every day. You know what you’ve tried and what works and what doesn’t. The reason it is so difficult, in my opinion for medical professionals to help is the spectrum is just that, a variety of problems that encompass more than the mind can comprehend. Some people grieve when they hear the diagnosis, other’s rejoice because they finally have answers. There is no right or wrong way to feel, just remember that the person that you loved before the diagnosis, is the same person you will continue to love after it.

I will share more about Mr. T and his journey through this maze called life because his story has just begun. He was recently diagnosed with Epilepsy and that has created a whole new area of learning and reacting and caring.

But for today I will say this one last thing. God created all of us. We are all wonderfully and fearfully made. In His image.

Psalm 139:14   New International Version (NIV)
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Mr. T. and I look forward to sharing his journey of living with Autism. Different not less.

May you know how much Jesus Loves you~right where you are.

Blessings to each and every one of you~Carlene

 

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Let The Children Come

jesus and children

Matthew 19:14  New Living Translation (NLT)
14 But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”

 

This morning when I awoke to the chaos of our home, with a toddler that has his own agenda, I wanted to pull the covers back over my head and go back to sleep.  It would have been so simple, but then I would have missed out on the blessing Jesus had in store for me today.

I have always been mindful that the Peace I carry in my soul comes from God and I also know that the enemy of our souls will do anything to destroy that Peace. The devil can’t stand it when we choose to live out our Faith in our everyday lives because when we choose to trust the Lord and everything He has for us, the devil loses. And one thing that satan is really good at is making ‘mountains out of molehills’ and replacing our joy, with fear and doubt. Stealing our peace and creating chaos and he will do whatever he can to tear down our walls of Faith and Hope and crush our spirits if we don’t keep our eyes on Jesus. If we take our focus off of Jesus and all the promises of blessed assurance that He is and He will forever be for us and never against us, it’s easy to get into the wrong mindset.

So back to my story…when I awoke, I wasn’t feeling my very best. I was feeling a little poorly. A headache. And a toddler into everything and not wanting to listen to simple instructions. This toddler does have autism, but I also knew he did understand what no meant in the context it was being used and I was already thinking, we just won’t go to church today. I’ll watch the live feed of the sermon and that will just be easier. That’s what the enemy wanted me to think and I almost fell for it. Almost.

This toddler is my grandson and he LOVES going to church. On days when we drive by the church, he wants to go in, even if it’s clothed in darkness. He is so pure and innocent, and for all I know, maybe HE does understand all about Jesus, but can’t express it. Whatever the reason, he has, to want to be there, I should never squash that because I am not “feeling it” or wanting to deal with the struggle of taking him (he’s a runner and very strong).  As I waffled back and forth, deciding whether to go or stay, since my husband was out of town and that meant me taking him alone, and thinking of all the ways it could go, he kept tugging at my sweater, asking “chuch?” and I thought about promising him the night before that we would be going to church today. After a few more tugs and simple one-word questions, we got our coats on, held his hand tightly, loaded him into our vehicle and off we went….to church.  And please, understand, I also love going to church and being there, worshipping and adoring Jesus, sensing the closeness I feel of His presence, but the struggle with our grandson, sometime’s I give up because I am weary of the struggles.

As we rounded the corner, and the building came into view, he squealed with delight! I knew bringing him was the right decision, but I had no idea how right of a decision it was.

Once he was checked in to the children’s ministry area, I headed to the sanctuary, stopping to chat with other members and grabbing a cup of coffee to sip and enjoy the peace that I always find when I sit and wait for the service to start. Midway, during the Worship Set, as we sang songs to Jesus, the tears started spilling from my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them, and in that moment, I knew Jesus was there, holding me and reminding me of the verse above.  The image of letting the children come, do not stop them and in a profound moment, do not let satan stop you from coming to spend time with me. Here or anywhere else.

God knew that I needed to be amongst fellow believers and He knew that I needed to be right there, at that precise moment, when I could let my guard down. That I could sit and weep in His presence and He would hold me tight and let me know that no matter what I face in my daily life He is with me. He gives all of us The Holy Spirit to guide us, and help us in this thing we call life.

For several weeks, I’ve been battling to keep that at the forefront of my life and I am ashamed to say that for the first time in my life, ever, my unshakeable faith was a little shaky.  Not shaky in the sense that God was with me, but that I was doubting what He had placed upon my heart to do with my life.

I have always believed and known that the gifts he has blessed me with ~ encouraging others, lifting them up and sharing His Word and stories of how He has brought me to where I am, have been part of my Purpose. But in the last six months, I have felt a tug to do several other things in my life, living into His purpose for my life,  and I have been scared. Scared I would fail and fall flat on my face. That in, not fulfilling His plans for my life, I would let Him down and in living with that fear, I have been irritable, a little bit grumpier and “short” with others.  Today, though, I was reminded through the eyes of a toddler that God loves me and God will never give me desires without already going before me and giving me everything I need to accomplish them.

God does not give us a spirit of fear or timidity (shyness, being timid). He expects us to BE BOLD. To pursue those dreams and desires with a boldness only He can give. So, I am going to do my best to remember that the desires He has placed upon my heart are there to fulfill His purposes. I may not know or understand them fully, but I am to Trust Him and walk in obedience. And I am His child. I can approach the Throne and know that without a doubt, no matter whether I do something that stretches me beyond what is comfortable to me, HE WILL give me everything I need to accomplish the task. He will never set me up to fail.

And I realized as I was leaving the church building today, that I don’t have to go to a building to experience Jesus. He is with me when I am on my knees, cleaning the bathroom, or doing laundry. He walks right beside me when I am at the store picking up shopping items on a list. He is with me when a toddler is on what seems like “my last nerve” saying, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay because I’ve got you. I am not going anywhere. I will never leave you, never abandon you. No matter how small or big your need is to feel love and accepted, I am here. ALWAYS. Even til the end of the ages. I AM.

I pray that this will encourage you when satan tries to defeat you and steal your peace and joy. Peace and Joy from God is a gift. Embrace it. Live it. Don’t run from it. Be assured that whatever you are going through in this moment, He is right there with you, holding you and loving you. You are His child. At the end of the day, it isn’t about anything or anyone, except Jesus. He truly is enough.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right where you are. Blessings to all~Carlene

 

 

 

Sharing Hope

Today was such a great day for me, because not only did I get to share my love of Jesus with a good friend, but I also was able to offer hope and encouragement, which is the one thing I know God has called me to do. It’s as much a part me as breathing is to other people. Faithhopelove

And God will use whatever tools are at His disposable to get His message out about forgiveness, grace, loving others and being a light in this dark world we live in. And, when I need to be reminded of the blessings I have in my life, which sometime’s, I take for granted He gently reminds me to look at the big picture-His picture.

I had plans to meet an old friend for lunch, to catch up with one another and to ultimately answer her questions about these amazing plant-based supplements that I had been taking and was seeing such powerful, amazing results from.

I did get to share with her how the chronic pain and fatigue that I have experienced for the better part of the last 10 years, was gone. Is gone. I did get to share with her how I don’t experience joint pain anymore. I was elated to tell her that not only had I dropped a size in my pants and was slimming down and had this unimaginable sustained energy all day long, but for the first time in years, I could focus and concentrate and my thinking was sharper.  And I owed it all to God for orchestrating the amazing gift of health and healing through the use of these supplements.

As I shared all this with her, I realized that the same hope that my friend shared with me, I was sharing with her. Being able to offer someone hope, when they are feeling so poorly and can’t imagine that there is anything that can make them feel alive again, alive in the sense that you don’t have to be bedridden or live on your couch or do the very bare minimum in your life, that’s huge. I know, because I was there. And that really isn’t living. You merely exist. You cry behind closed doors. You put a smile on your face and you “fake” it. Until you can’t fake it anymore.  You seek help from your doctor, specialists, diets, alternative therapies, you name it-you try it and then one day, you decide enough is enough. It is what it is. I just have to learn to live with it. Until there is a cure or a proven treatment, I’m done. Done being a guinea pig.  You modify the way you do everything. And every single day, you pray. You ask God, “Why?” and sometime’s you don’t know why, but you love God and you Trust Him. Because you know His Plan is always better. And that is where I was six months ago. I was done. I would live with what was going on in my body and I would trust God for the outcome.

Now, remember, His Plans are always best. When my friend suggested that I try these supplements, I must admit, I rolled my eyes and I laughed inwardly.  Why in the world, would “vitamins” help me when nothing else had? But, and here’s the big thing, I knew that God played role in me trying them. I knew that my friend wouldn’t just suggest something if she didn’t wholeheartedly believe that was what God was telling her to share with me. And I prayed about it. And there was peace. Peace only He can give.  So, I said, ok, let’s try them.  And not only did I try them, I started seeing results within the first three weeks (this isn’t the case for everyone-but God knew I needed the reassurance that I was on the right path) and by eight weeks, I was pinching myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming and by 12 weeks, I was feeling the best I had felt in 10 years (520 weeks)!

And then I started thinking about all the things I was able to do that would seem simple to other people. For instance, going out to lunch to meet a friend. I wouldn’t have even considered that 6 months ago. By the time I would have woken up, showered, dressed and made it downstairs, my energy would have been gone. And I would have had to cancel or realistically, I wouldn’t have even set up a date for lunch for fear I would have had to cancel once again.  And if I was having a good day, back then, and I actually made it to our meeting place, sitting for over 3 hours, laughing, talking, sharing our faith with one another, the pain of sitting for that long would have definitely been something I paid for with flare-ups and agony for weeks to come.

So, yes, I am very thankful that I chose to try these supplements and I will never be without them. I am so very thankful that my friend was obedient in sharing them with me and listening to the Lord. plexus journey

I share my story because I know there are other people, much like my friend today, that have struggled with many health issues that nothing seems to help and like me, she is sick and tired of being sick and tired. I shared my story with her and offered her hope and healing her body from the inside out. We all have root issues that need to be addressed, instead of putting “band-aids” on the problem. And getting to the root of the issues is what these amazing plant-based supplements do. They focus on gut health and once your gut is healed and your body is balanced, other things fall into place. Is it a “magic pill”, nope. Everyone’s story is different. Everyone’s journey is different. It isn’t a quick fix. But they do work. And I will continue to share my story with anyone and everyone because that’s what God is leading me to do.

And in the midst of our super long lunch date, we talked about our faith and how God stretches us and grows us and pulls us out of our nice, cozy comfort zones. First thing, is we have to be willing. It’s easy to say, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. It’s another thing to truly follow Him and His leading. After walking with Him, for over 40 years now, I still falter more times than I care to admit; I struggle with some things that I know He wants me to do and yes, I even argue with Him. I never win. It usually just prolongs things to where I have to ask for His forgiveness and go and do it. Do it scared sometimes. But the blessings that I get, the amazing love that I witness, because I chose to listen to our Heavenly Father far outweighs the fear. Love casts out fear.

I was reminded today, that the enemy will do whatever he thinks is necessary to spur doubt in our minds and hearts. He definitely does not like it when believers gather and profess the love of Jesus and His unfailing mercy and grace. Light always penetrates the darkness. And as long as I have breath, I will share Jesus’ story of redemption, hope, and grace.

May you know how much Jesus Christ loves you ~ right where you are, right now. He is always available to you.

Many blessings~Carlene

 

 

Blessings to You

Thanksgiving2

As we approach Thanksgiving Day here in America, I pray blessings for each and every person that reads this. I pray that you will have a day filled with love, laughter, and joy! However, I do know that for some people, it will be a hard day, as people we love have passed, and this Thanksgiving may be a day that is hard to find something to be thankful for, in your grief, but I ask God to give you peace and comfort that only He can give.

There will be many people that will be settling down around a table filled with delectable and savory dishes that they look forward to every year, traditions that go on and some traditions being started for the first time. There will be laughter as the memories of Thanksgivings’ past evoke, of loved ones that are no longer here and there may be tears of ones we wish were still here to celebrate life with us. And there will also be people that don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, as they have no family or no friends with which to celebrate or who are alone, and for them, it may just be another day.

For me, Thanksgiving isn’t just something we should look forward to in November, on the fourth Thursday of the month. Thanksgiving should be an attitude of our hearts and we should be able to find ONE thing to be thankful for every single day that God gives us life. For many, the Thanksgiving holiday signifies the beginning of the Christmas shopping season by early “Black Friday” sales, that apparently now start on Thanksgiving and go through “Cyber Monday”.  I know all too well about that concept, retiring from retail early last year when all that was taking place. I say a special prayer for those people that have to work and cannot be home with their families and friends because they must be at work to take care of their customers.

I recall simpler times when everything was closed on Thanksgiving day. When families spent time with one another and the only thing open was a few gas stations and convenience stores. Now you can drive around and all businesses are open, trying to boost their bottom line before the end of the fiscal year.  A sign of the times, I suppose.

I try to find something to be thankful for every day. And usually, even in my most trying days, I can always find something. I have always found that if my heart is focused on being grateful and living in gratitude, I can’t grumble at the same time. When it seems like there is nothing to be grateful for, I call out to Jesus and I ask Him to help me get through, to help me see the world through His eyes, I read His Word and I pray.

John 10:10New International Version (NIV)

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

However you choose to celebrate your Thanksgiving this year, I ask God to bless you so richly, your cup will overflow.  Peace to you and your families. May you know how much Jesus Loves you and He will meet you right where you are. Blessings to all~Carlene

 

 

 

Subtle Differences

In the past few days, I have been pushed around, challenged to hold true to my faith and always remember that there is a reason for everything and God is in control.  I haven’t been pushed around by bullies but by this mysterious disorder known to many as Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder.

For the last year and 4 months, autism has lived in our home, officially.  And while, we have learned many things, and learned how to cope and work with this mystery, I am learning that it truly is a lifelong learning process, not just for our grandson who has autism, but for those of us that love this little guy and want so much for his life to be as normal as possible.

We can’t go to the park or even in the backyard unless there is a minimum of three adults with him. Why? Because he is a runner. He loves to run, and he doesn’t care if he is running down into a creek bed of freezing cold water or into the street with traffic. When he starts running, no amount of hollering at him to stop, or calling his name works.  Which means you have to run just as fast as he does or faster in hopes you can catch him before he enters the danger zone. This was the case yesterday morning when he figured out how to get out the front door, off the porch and ran into the backyard in his pajamas of shorts/shirt and socks in 20-degree weather. He was on a mission to get to his swing set.  He is a sensory seeker, which is part of his sensory processing disorder, he is looking for things that will fill the need of whatever stimulation he is missing and he will climb on anything, regardless if it is meant for climbing or safe to be doing so. EVERY DAY is a battle. And if he doesn’t have something solid to climb upon, he will use a toy or toys stacked up and attempt to do the climbing.

He figures ways to climb over the safety gates that are installed to keep him safe, on end tables and desktops if he sees something he wants or wants to investigate. And then he will jump off of them, regardless of how high up it is or what may be in his jump zone that could be dangerous or harmful to him.

Tyson Cliimbing

He doesn’t like loud noises and as much as he does well at his preschool in a small group of people, he doesn’t like a lot of people in one space. There are times he will run and hide in a wooden cabinet or under a table or cover himself with a blanket, so he is safe and hidden from the world. As he becomes stronger with each passing day, it is difficult to keep him reigned in one area. At age 3, he weighs 38 pounds and is over 3 feet tall.  Putting things up out of his reach is not as easy as they were a year ago. He has always had great strength since birth. Never needed help holding his head up, although we did.

He slides down the wooden stairs on his belly, feet first, and laughs and giggles when he gets to the bottom, running up to do it all over again. I hold my breath a lot. I am so afraid he will seriously hurt himself, but I’ve come to realize that the vestibular input and proprioceptive input he gets from doing a thing like this, he can’t get any other way. Or no way that he likes so far. His mini trampoline, use to provide enough input, he didn’t need more aggressive forms, but now the trampoline just isn’t enough. He can be very aggressive at times, and its hard to try to explain to him that he can’t headbutt others or constantly bang his head on the floor or the wall.  I know I am not the only person that has lived with a child like this, there are many of us that live in silence, because people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, can’t begin to imagine what it is truly like. And then there are sweet calm moments, like right now, where he climbs on my lap, gives me a hug, lays his head on my shoulder, just for a moment to take a break from his high-strung activities and lets me know he loves me and for a moment all is peaceful. But it usually doesn’t last very long.

Each one of us is a work in progress, from the day we are born.  Life experiences shape who we become and why we act the way we do. For most children, language develops at 6 months.  It may just be babbling, but it is a form of language. Speaking and language development is crucial to know if your child has a problem or a developmental delay in communication. By 18 months, he still wasn’t saying anything except ma and da.  Not even mama or Dada, And every time we saw the pediatrician, we were assured that he had done so many other things, early (sitting, crawling, walking) that he was just gonna be slower with talking because he was busy. Repeated attempts to have him tested fell on deaf ears. Well-meaning friends and family offered advice.  Here’s my two cents on this matter: If you think your child has any type of developmental delay, press for the physician to make the referral for testing, to determine what the problem is. You know your child, You spend the most time with them.  I am glad we finally found a doctor that was willing to listen to our concerns and give us the referral we needed.

When he was diagnosed at 26 months, he had just those two words and very little eye contact with anyone. Thanks to early intervention services, speech therapist, developmental specialists, and lots of work at home with him, he was able to start preschool this year, four days a week for a few hours a day. He started with 40 words, well under what a normal two-year-old would have and some of the 40 words were his “made up” words for objects he knew about.  Now after being in preschool for over 2 1/2 months his vocabulary is growing and he is just starting to put two or more words together to form two-word phrases. Since being in therapy, we have learned that his language delays are both expressive and receptive language delays. So his understanding is limited right now, but he is learning and he is thriving.

We are very fortunate that while most children on the spectrum have struggled with sleep, he is not one of them. There is always something to be thankful for. Always.

And when I want to sit and cry because life isn’t fair, and these were the cards we were dealt, I could be angry with God and I could wonder why him? But I am reminded of a story in the Bible, that puts it into perspective the best.

John 9:1-5New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 2 “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?”

3 “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. 4 We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us.[a] The night is coming, and then no one can work. 5 But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world.”

I don’t know why our grandson has Autism, but I do know that God will work it all out. I know that I have learned many things about this Spectrum Disorder and while he is learning his way and knowledgeable about many things he can’t share with us yet, I see it every day.  He is very smart for a three-year-old. He loves to fiddle with things and take them apart to see how they work, he might be an engineer someday or maybe even a teacher. He is learning what numbers are and what they mean, learning about colors and shapes and loving every minute of it. He is slowly starting to interact with others, and I am thankful for that. At home, his interactions are that of a typical child, in public, it’s a slow process, but a process just the same. He uses a combination of spoken words, pictures, and sign language to request what he wants. Most of the time, we understand, the frustrating times comes when there is no picture and he tries and tries and still we don’t understand. As much as it is frustrating for us, I can only begin to imagine how frustrating it is for him.

His memory is excellent. If he has experienced it, he can share in one-word utterances the details. We have been talking to him lately about getting his hair cut.  It’s way too long for our liking, but he is very sensitive to anyone touching his head or messing with it in any way. But he remembers his first haircut. We took him to a local salon. (Me, his grandfather and mother whom he refers to as maw, da, and meem) And we rode in da’s car and boo boon (and papaw drove and after the haircut, they gave him a blue balloon).

But it was not a fun experience. It took two of us to hold him, while the stylist, tried using scissors to trim his hair nice and neat and we ended up getting a buzz cut because that was the fastest (and probably the most painful for him, i.e. loud, vibrating noise).

As I finish this out for today, he is pacing around the living room, with his shoes on and his backpack, he’s waiting for the bus. It will be a long wait, the bus will not be here until tomorrow morning. But telling him that school is closed, telling him there is no bus coming to pick him up, hasn’t worked. So, until he tires of wearing his backpack, he will continue to walk back and forth with the backpack on. Sometime’s he gets “stuck” and because it isn’t harming him to do this, we allow it. It makes him happy.

Isn’t’ that what we all want for our children/grandchildren to live happy, carefree lives. He was sad that we didn’t go to church today. But it is too much on me to try to contain him in the parking lot, while holding his hand, walking with a cane and carrying a purse and diaper bag, so we missed out today. We played together, read the first few pages of a toddler book and he climbed and I held my breath.

And tomorrow, I will do it all over again until he goes into another phase, that no one knows what it will be or what it will look like. And Jesus will get me through it all. He always does.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~he will meet you right where you are.

Blessings to you~Carlene

 

 

Thank You

This week I’ve reached over 1,000 amazing people that follow this blog, and I am humbled beyond words.

Thank you for following along on my journey in life and with Jesus.

It is my prayer for each and every person to know that Jesus loves you, no matter where you are on your journey and he will meet you and walk with you through it all.

Many blessings today to all of you!

God Bless~Carlene

Living with Purpose

For many years, I have believed that I was living with purpose and living out the plan and purposes that God has for me and my life.  I love to encourage others to stretch themselves and their faith, and to realize that our faith isn’t dependent on what we do, but what God does in our lives.

Seek Him

God calls us to be bold and to live abundantly, to trust Him for everything we need; HE will always go before us, and HE will equip us with what we need to achieve anything, but we have to have faith in Him.

How many times, in your life do you pray fervently, but see no results? How many days are you down on your knees, pleading with God to help you figure out what you are going through and why are you going through it and what possible purpose will it serve for you to go through the pain and agony you are going through? Often times, what we face in life, our challenges, struggles, our victories, are all leading up to glorifying God and being thankful and grateful that He allows us to go through this things so we can learn to comfort and bless others with our own stories.   The challenge for those of us that are so used to getting quick fixes to problems, is those quick fixes may be temporary solutions to long-term problems. God isn’t here for just a quick fix, he’s here for the long haul. From birth to death and into eternity.  He’s not the type of God that gives you a one time fix and says, “that’s it, you’ve reached your allotment for life, now go figure the rest out on your own, been nice knowing you.”

He is the type of Heavenly Father that weeps when you weep and cheers when you succeed. He loves you with a love like no other and all he asks in return is that you choose Him over anyone or anything else. That you choose to follow Him, to listen to what he tells you and to do two main things: Love Him with everything you are and everything you have and love others.  I have spoken on this before, but I think it is so important that it is repeated until everyone understands and grasps the simplicity of what HE wants from us. Because once you get that, once you understand that Love and everything that comes out of a true, selfless loving heart than you have everything you need to do His work.  And His work will look different in every single life. He calls us to walk with Him, to have a relationship with Him and I know from my own personal experiences in this life when I am walking with Jesus, I see things differently and have a more compassionate heart for people and their struggles.  He doesn’t want us to walk in fear or a belief that I am not good enough, I can’t do this or I can’t do that.  Moses didn’t think he could lead God’s people Israel out of Egpyt, but he did. But it took convincing from God that even though he did not think he was strong enough or people would listen to him, God went before Him and God equipped Moses for everything he needed to do for the Kingdom.

 

I have been reminded of this fact lately in my own life. As many of you know, I have struggled with living in chronic pain for over the last 7+ years.  And I have had to change my way of doing many things and learn to adapt to new circumstances that were entirely out of my control and not only was it very depressing to me, and people that knew and love me, but it was a tremendous burden to my spirit that I could not provide for my family or help with the household income.  And I had pretty much given up any hope of ever feeling truly alive again. I didn’t give up on my faith, my faith in God and His promises is the ONE thing that kept me going. I knew without a shred of doubt that HE has a plan for my life and His plans are always so much bigger than I will ever be able to see.  I also know that if I were to know everything that I would go through and will still go through, it would be too overwhelming for me to handle. So living into my purpose comes in pieces that are tangible for me to understand and grab hold of. And that is why I am who I am and God is who He is. He knows just exactly what I need at the moment and He knows just what you need, nothing more, nothing less.

In June of this year, I received an amazing gift of love from a dear friend that has changed my life forever. I no longer suffer from chronic pain, fatigue or the many other symptoms I was experiencing and I want to share what has helped me to feel alive again and better than I ever have. I want others that suffer from chronic health problems, that believe that all hope is lost and they are destined to continue on the path of pain, fatigue, depression, irritable bowel symptoms, allergies too many to mention, that need to get themselves healthy but have no idea how to do it. I want to share with others that this is not a quick fix or a magic pill you take, and all is better. I want to educate others, as I have learned that many of the autoimmune disorders that people live with and are diagnosed with every single day, can be helped if they understand how their body functions and works. People that want to not only be in their children’s and families lives but actually be able to participate in their lives and be part of them and trust me when I say there is a difference. Watching from the couch or sidelines isn’t a way to live. I did that for many years. I could make plans and then have to cancel them because I just didn’t have the energy required to even get dressed, let alone go anywhere.

Eleanor Roosevelt quote

And I am the type of person when I have something to share, that I believe will benefit others, I want to shout it from the rooftops, and the valleys, but I too struggle with wondering if my voice will be heard. I am human. I have learned that just because people reject what I am sharing with them, doesn’t mean they are rejecting me. And as I grow into this new person I am becoming and learning to love the body I am in, finally, I know that I am doing what I am called to do. Every day when I meet with God in prayer, he confirms this is where He wants me right now. Life is a journey, full of dull, sad, exciting, transforming and unexpected moments.

faith

Had I not chosen to accept a gift of love over 4 months ago, I might still be sitting on the sidelines wondering what it was like to be living life to the fullest every day.  I chose to trust God that His plan was bigger than I could see or envision.  And as I continue to trust in Him, I know that He is using these amazing new products to heal my body from the inside out. I would love to help you if you want to be the best version of you. I would love to know how I can serve you and be a blessing to you, just as my friend was a blessing to me. When you are ready to take your health back and in turn live your best life ever, let me know. I am here and I would love to walk with you in your journey to better health and happiness.

May you always know how much Jesus Loves You and he will meet you right where you are!

Blessings to all of you~thanks for stopping by.

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith