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Words Have Power~Use Them Wisely

Personal growth

When you do something for the first time, no matter what it is and you have success, how does it make you feel? On top of the world? Excited? Fuel your passion? But what happens if you try something you have never done and you don’t succeed like you thought you would. What happens? Do you try again or accept defeat? Do you give up and say defeating things to yourself? Things like, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m a failure,” “I can’t do this,” “What was I thinking?”.

Listen up people, our words have such power and sometime’s we don’t even realize that we speak them over ourselves or others. We speak and don’t stop to think about the impact our words can have. We don’t even have to speak it, we can just think defeating, negative thoughts, and they too can have power, if you let them.

As many schools across the nation gear up for students coming back, flooding the hallways and classrooms with chatter, backpacks, books and forming new memories, I encourage you to speak life into others and over yourself, too.

It is so easy to get caught up in what the world thinks about you. Your looks, your attitude, the clothes you wear, the books you read, the exercise regime you have or don’t have. There are so many times that all it takes is for one person, whose self-esteem is so low that one comment, not even made directly to them, can have such an impact on how they view themselves and if they are good enough. Good enough to get a raise or a promotion, good enough to be chosen for that one sports team they really want to be a part of, good enough to have friends and not feel so alone and isolated.  And we are all guilty of saying things, without meaning to hurt anyone, that our words and actions do. At least I am guilty of that.

I remember when my children, were school age and struggling with math, I made the mistake of sharing with them how hard math was for me, how much I struggled and how much I disliked the subject. I didn’t learn algebra or geometry because it wasn’t a requirement for me to graduate high school. That statement has haunted me for years because I indirectly influenced how and what they thought about math and numbers and equations and learning about it. They began to believe that if it was difficult for me, it was difficult for them. However, I didn’t realize how much that one statement affected them until they needed to buckle down and become proficient in those areas so they could graduate high school several years ago.  Only when my daughter referred back to my statement of how hard it was for me, did I realize that I had negatively impacted her learning. Boy did I feel horrible.

I’ve been reading a book by Psychologist Shad Helmstetter, What You Say When You Talk to Yourself and it has been eye opening how much we can make statements and not even realize that we begin to believe what we have said and those lies become beliefs.

In the Word of God, God even warns us to take our thoughts captive and to not speak or think things that are of the world and not of Him.

Proverbs 4:23Good News Translation (GNT)

23 Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.

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Proverbs 4:13Good News Translation (GNT)

13 Always remember what you have learned. Your education is your life—guard it well.

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Proverbs 18:21New King James Version (NKJV)

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

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Our words have power. We can destroy people with thoughtless statements, or we can choose to think before we speak and we can build others up. We can encourage one another and believe in people and instill belief in others.  A tiny spark can set a forest ablaze.  A positive statement can have a ripple effect and change the world!

I am reminded of something my mother used to say to me, “do unto others as you would have them do to you”. In other words, be kind, think before you speak. Remember this acronym to help you:

 

May you know that you are Worthy, You are Loved, You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made and may you know how much Jesus Loves You!

Blessings to all~Carlene

 

 

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Above All

I value honesty above all. I was taught by my parents, that no matter how hard it is, to be honest, at times, it is still the very best way to live.

I believe that with my whole heart. I have grown up believing that a person’s integrity will carry you far in life and integrity builds character. Anyone can tell a lie, but the person with a clear conscience is always honest, all the time.

I always strive to give my honest opinion when asked, and most of my close friends and family might say that I am brutally honest or very blunt. I do not like hurting people’s feelings and/or making them feel bad. When this happens, I have to stand back and take a look at how I reacted when I was asked a question, because I know that although many people claim to believe honesty is the best course of action, not all people carry through.

There have been many times in my 52 years that I have had to apologize. Feelings were shattered, friends felt betrayed and I felt like the worst friend in the world. I am the same whether I am at home, church, a job, or in public. I am not afraid to give my opinion, whether solicited or not, I stand up for my beliefs.  I can’t imagine how people do it when they act one way at work, a totally different way at home and yet another way when they’re out with friends. That seems like it would be very tiring and very disingenuine.

The one thing I need to learn, is I don’t always have to offer my opinion on the subject. I could do a better job of creating boundaries and explaining that I do not feel like I am the best person to answer on all subjects I am asked. I do feel I have significant knowledge to deal with most things that cross my path, but there are moments, after I have spoken, what I believe to be the truth, that I wish I could take it back. Not because it isn’t a truthful statement, but because of the injury it may cause to another person. Many times, most people, don’t want to hear the truth because truth can hurt, but if we don’t walk and live in Truth through Jesus and live out our lives according to Him, are we really His disciples?

Walking in truth means to be able to walk in love and share the love of the Lord with others through our conversations and remember to season our words with grace. Along with being honest above all, forgiveness must play a role if I overstep my boundaries.

Earlier this week, a friend asked for my opinion and I told her the truth, what I believed to be the truth and I hurt her deeply. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt someone I love so much. I am very extroverted and speak my mind. I have realized that maybe I could have handled that conversation a little bit better than I did, but there is no manual you can seek and it will give you rules of living, except one, The Holy Bible. I do my best to live by the examples of how Jesus lived. And this time, I know I messed up.

I am sorry that I hurt you. I have asked for the Father’s forgiveness in this and now I ask for yours. I love you deeply and can’t imagine my life without you in it. I will not mention names or details, she knows who she is and she reads this blog. If I threw the stone, please forgive me.

 

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John 8:1-11New Living Translation (NLT)
8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

May you know the Jesus Loves You!#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to you!

Beyond Blessed

Today God reminded me how very blessed I am. My good friend, Julia popped by to brighten my life, not just my day, but so much more.

Since I became disabled and unable to get on my knees or squat down, I have not been able to plant my flowers.  My husband and I used to plan our flower beds and containers, go to the local home improvement store and purchase potting soil, plants, flowers, etc. and each year create beauty outside of our home. Then after the weeding and planting and mulching, we could sit on our front porch and enjoy the beauty of our hard work. Those times brought such joy to my life.

Three years ago, when I did my final plantings, I laid flat on my stomach in the yard on a cardboard box and planted the seeds and starts of blooms. It took a long time, but I was so determined to do it. I knew that would be the last time I would be able to do it. Joint and bone wear had taken its toll.

Now, Julia amazes me because she is always creating beauty in her own flower beds with a mixture of plants, herbs, flowers, grasses, etc. When the weather is nice enough to be out digging in the dirt, that’s where you will find her. She has seed starter plants and starters from other plants all over her kitchen and outside on her patio. It’s like walking into a home garden center. And she isn’t afraid to get dirty or remove hedges that were in her way or change the design of her garden if she doesn’t like it when she’s done.

Today, she appeared at my home with a load of mulch and composted soil, empty planting containers and starts of herbs, flowers, and vegetables and her gardening tools. She knows how much I miss my flower garden. And while she was figuring out where she wanted to plant everything and how to do it, I sat on my walker and we fellowshipped with one another.

Because she has such a huge heart, full of love, she allowed Tyson to help her plant the flowers and dig in the dirt. That’s huge for a three-year-old with sensory issues. He cried when she had to pack up her tools to go home. But she promised she would be back, tomorrow with more plants.

As you can see, she is a very beautiful friend, outwardly as well as inwardly. She loves with all she is. We have been friends for over 11 years and we have laughed and cried together and encouraged one another when we felt at our lowest.Julia

 

1 Samuel 16:7New Living Translation (NLT)

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Thank you Father God for reminding me that blessings come in all shapes and sizes, and in all forms. The best blessing that any of us can have in our lives are our friends and family.

Thank you, Julia, for the love you have shown me today! It will not be forgotten.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You!#HopeAlways#HaveFaith

Blessings to you!

 

 

Twenty One

Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with bright red hair and deep brown eyes.  I was shocked to see the red hair, I couldn’t begin to fathom where that had come from as his dad had black hair and mine was dark brown, until I learned that his paternal grandfather had affectionately been called Red when he was a young man because of his brash red hair.

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He was a happy baby and an inquisitive child. As I have watched out son grow into a man, I have seen his kind heart and sensitive spirit be broken and made fun of. Men aren’t supposed to be like that. Men are supposed to be tough and rugged. He heard that a lot growing up from his friends and men in the family. But I loved this sensitive side.  I told him, and I firmly believe this, that God creates all of us in His image. He wasn’t created to be harsh or unkind. That wasn’t part of his DNA. We did our best to instill in him that everyone is different and to embrace who you are.

And he has. He cares for others with a deep compassion and love and will help anyone in need. He sees the lighter side of life and loves to laugh and tell jokes. He is my video gamer. Where I could not see how this could help his attention deficit disorder growing up, it helped him learn to focus. Now he has his own YouTube Channel where he reviews video games and is slowly building a following. He found out how to do all of this by following other game reviewers and learning the ins and outs of the “game” so to speak.

He also works a full time job, has his own place and is making it. He might come for meals and to do his laundry, but my baby is all grown up.  I love you son!

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The best part of this day, was the day he graced our lives with his presence and the fact that today we get to share the day-his 21st Birthday and Mother’s Day-well, that’s just a bonus!

Love your children. Encourage them. Build them up. Let them learn they can’t always have what they want, but they will always have what the need, one way or another. Model the way you want them to live and give them wings so they can soar!

He’s here now and we are hanging out with my grandson and his nephew and we are watching a Paw Patrol Marathon. That’s what you call love.

May everyone know how much Jesus Loves You!

Many blessings!

The Pink Purse

My friend Sherry was a lover of the color pink, not a vibrant, bright pink, but a pale subtle pink. She was a romantic at heart and loved with all she had. She would share whatever she had if anyone needed it. I miss her so much.

I remember, about a year before her death, I took her on a “Bucket List” trip. She wanted to go to the mountains in October to see the changing of the leaves. When the fall colors burst forth, and all you can see in every direction are hues of purple, pink, yellow, red and beautiful colors the mind can’t comprehend.

Prior to the trip, I had purchased a pink handbag from a local Goodwill store. It wasn’t anything fancy and was under five dollars. It was one of those open the bag and throw everything in it, no compartments and no zipper.  Just a simple snap at the top to hold it all together. For weeks, she pestered me to give her that purse. And for weeks, I said no way.  She had always told me that she could never use a grab bag, she needed it to have compartments and pockets and zippers and this bag had none. But her love for the color pink won out.

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One day, I found a nice box, lined it with tissue paper and carefully wrapped the purse in the tissue paper and found gorgeous pink wrapping paper and tied it all together with pink ribbon and a pale pink bow!

We went to our weekly Bible Study and then made our weekly trek to United Dairy Farmers for a Peanut Butter Sundae with extra peanut butter. A treat to ourselves, and while we sat and devoured those sundaes, I presented her with the package.

She questioned what was this big gift box for. It wasn’t her birthday or any special date she could recall and I said you’re my friend; that’s enough of a reason for the gift. She ever so delicately tried not to rip the pink paper (which is near next to impossible because I love using tape when wrapping gifts) and finally I told her she needed to rip it open, she could find more of that gift wrap at the dollar store if she wanted it so bad.

When she opened the box and gingerly peeked in the tissue paper, this bright smile beamed from her eyes. And she hugged me tight and told me she would take really good care of it! She took that purse on our trip and made sure that I took a picture of her and her pink purse.

That’s what friends do for each other. We lift one another’s spirits, it could be the gift of an inexpensive pink purse, it might be a nice note or a phone call. It might just be sharing a cup of coffee. Whatever it is that you do with your friends to brighten their days, do it with love.

I know she carried that purse until it finally fell apart, but the small amount of money spent on that handbag does not compare to the joy it brought my friend.

May you know how much Jesus loves you!

Blessings!

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via Daily Prompt: Pink

New Eyes

Ephesians 4:30New International Version (NIV)

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

How many times a day do I grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with my words and actions? Jesus died nailed to a cross for me; for you. He took upon Himself the sins of the world, and He did this because His Love is greater than our earthly eyes can even begin to imagine or grasp.

Every time I argue or disagree with someone, do I stop to think that maybe, just maybe they are in their own battle and instead of being loving and kind toward them, I am only increasing their pain. I don’t ever set out on my journey for the day wondering who I can hurt, but I know I have, and words can pierce through your hearts in ways that aren’t easy to fix.

Just as God is my Heavenly Father and Creator, I as a parent have been grieved by actions of my children. As a parent, I am to protect them, teach them and love them, whilst allowing them to make mistakes, just as I have made, so they too can learn from them.  It really hurts my heart, when I can’t fix them or fix the world for them.

Our daughter faced bullying at a young age, and the reality is because she hasn’t accepted the Lord as her personal Savior, she has no room in her heart for forgiveness. She holds onto the hurt and spews it from her mouth when she feels there is no way out. She puts up walls and those walls become impenetrable to break through. Every disagreement, argument or hurt that she feels comes out in anger toward whoever is in her presence when she explodes. In moments such as these, I want to scoop her up in my arms and hold her tight and protect her from the hatefulness the world has to offer. That is not an option. She is in her 20’s now and has informed me more than once that she is not a baby. Wrongs become grudges that never go away. They have such a stronghold on her that the only thing I can do as her mother is to pray that God will continue to work with me and others in her life to show her the way.

So, the point I am trying to make by sharing this little glimpse of my life, is if she grieves my spirit, how much more do I grieve God’s and how do I fix that? I do pray and ask for forgiveness; I walk with Jesus daily and allow His Holy Spirit to guide my actions. There are many times throughout my day that the Holy Spirit will nudge me to go one way and convict my spirit that I need to do something, even if it’s painful for me to do.

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How many times does Jesus have to tell us that there is nothing we can do to earn His love and salvation?  Once we accept Jesus, we are to love like He does. See the world thru His eyes. Every day He works on me to be a better person. Forgiveness is the key. Showing grace and mercy even when we don’t want to. Being willing to admit that being right all the time isn’t’ worth it, if it hurts the people you love the most.

James 3:5-9New International Version (NIV)

5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

All of us must remember that our words can build up or tear down. Be kind. Think before you speak. Love wholeheartedly. Trust in the Lord and follow his lead!

Blessings to you and yours!#HopeAlways#HaveFaith

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Ademoneo

Ademoneo, Greek Transliterated word  New Testament Greek Lexicon

pronunciation: ad-ay-mon-eh’-o

Definition: To be troubled, great distress or anguish, depressed.

There are three instances that this word has been used in the New Testament You can find those instances in Matthew 26:37/Mark 14:33/Philippians 2:26

depressed


I have lived with depression for years. But not my depression. Until recently, I didn’t have this problem, personally. But I have lived with the disorder for many years because I love people who live and suffer from clinical depression. Depression that from what I know and have seen, they battle daily to keep their lives going on an even keel.  Depression, if left to run its course ends up ruining many things in their lives; including them.

This depression wasn’t just because something happened that made them sad or downtrodden, but a melancholy that settled in their soul and no amount of encouragement or laughter could bring about change. Sometimes medications help, sometimes they didn’t. People suggest that you see a psychiatrist or psychologist and talk out the reasons that have led to your depression and they can teach you ways to cope with it and live with it.

What I have found, though, is that it isn’t just one thing that causes it and what works great for one person suffering, doesn’t even begin to work for someone else with the same diagnosis. The mind is like a minefield. What might set one person off, another person it wouldn’t even faze.

This depression that I have been feeling lately, has been coming on for months. I have fought long and hard to keep it at bay. I have done my best to dive into the Word and pray to the Father seeking His guidance. I have started Bible Journaling as a way to express myself, while still reflecting on scripture and God’s promises to never leave us or forsake us. I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world because I have the spirit of God living within me. The Holy Spirit. And he guides me and convicts me when I stray from the teachings of Jesus. I have always been able to show mercy and grace under pressure and continue to live in a joyful state of existence with God’s joy in my heart. It’s not always happy times or moments, but I’ve always had God’s joy there and His peace that only he can give.

Lately, I’ve been pondering how do I get back to where I was or maybe I should be asking where are you leading me Lord and how much longer will I be in this dark valley?

I am a people person. I always have been. I never meet a stranger, ever. I love to talk and read and learn. I love to be an encourager to others and help people. I do have a caregiver mentality. The only problem with having that mentality, is sometimes I forget to care for myself.

Zechariah 13:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 I will bring that group through the fire
and make them pure.
I will refine them like silver
and purify them like gold.
They will call on my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘These are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”

I know that God allows us to go through painful circumstances when necessary to refine us for what His purpose is for our lives. I know that in those moments, I need to lean into him and pursue Him for my needs. He will supply them all.

Before I retired early, even though I was in great physical pain, I was around others and now I am around the same people daily. Please don’t get me wrong, I am very blessed to have my family, but honestly spending every waking minute together is maddening when you are a person that seeks to be around people and not feeling isolated all the time. Unfortunately, with the loss of income (over 50%), the itinerary for the week changes to accommodate budget needs.  And many other changes occur because we can’t eat out as much as we would want or buy things on a whim because the funds aren’t available. And event though the physical pain isn’t as strong as it was when you were working full-time, it’s still present. The difference is now you can sit and rest when you need to. That’s really the only difference.

When I worked 40 hours a week outside of the home, I still had obligations here that had to be taken care of and everything came together, one way or another. Now I feel isolated, lonely. I feel like all I am to people is someone who cooks and cleans and does laundry and keeps a two-year-old occupied all day.  I love being a grandmother. But I don’t want to be the grandmother that can’t have fun with her grandchild and then take a break. I will if that’s what it takes. But I miss being able to do fun things for me. With my friends.

I miss being able to splurge and go to a fast food restaurant and grab a sandwich because I don’t feel like making a lunchmeat sandwich at home. I miss working and earning an income.

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.
James 4:10 MSG

And the worst part is every little critique that anyone has for me, I take offense to. Even if they are correct. I have always been a firm believer that constructive criticism is good. Lately, I haven’t felt any of the criticism I have received is constructive. I take things too personally and inwardly, I cry. I think of all kinds of ways I could respond, but I know that is not what Jesus would want me to do because as soon as I allow those thoughts to flash across my mind, I am convicted in my spirit, that is not who I am.

I get depressed because I can’t even go to the store by myself. Even though I am a people person and anyone that knows me would agree; sometimes I just want to be alone. I know this is healthy thinking. I just can’t convince anyone else of that without hurting their feelings and that’s the last thing I want to do.

I used to read 3-4 books a month and now I am lucky if I read 3-4 books in 6 months. I miss reading. When I read, I can visualize the story in my mind and I can escape my life for a few hours and just dive into the story. Page turners I can read within a day or two. Now my books are on shelves, gathering dust because I don’t have time to do that anymore.

My depression is in part my fault as I have never been good at setting boundaries and keeping them. I know that until I learn to stick to my boundaries and keep them in place, I will continue to be walked on and I will continue to resent certain people. That is not healthy and I have no desire to walk that road.

The depression I have observed in the last 20 years has caused true medical ailments because the festering of problems being pushed down farther and farther until there is nowhere to push them and they come out in ways that create havoc on the body. I’ve seen it. I know it’s real. It causes underlying medical problems such as hypertension, heart problems, stomach problems. and probably too many to mention here. If your depression is truly bad, and you do not have coping skills in place for when you start to spiral out of control, I’ve seen it come out in waves of sadness and anger. And even though many things said in the throes of an argument or disagreement that are spiteful and hurtful aren’t meant; once you’ve said them you can’t take them back. Words hurt.

Proverbs 12:18New Living Translation (NLT)

18 Some people make cutting remarks,
but the words of the wise bring healing.

I know that I must talk about it. I must talk to anyone that will listen that you can’t hold everything in and at some point not explode or just give up. We all need one another. We all have problems. We need to start loving each other not for what we have or don’t have, but simply because loving one another is so much better than the effort it takes to be hurtful to one another. And because that is what we are called to do.

Matthew 22:37-40 New Living Translation (NLT)

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[e] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[f] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Heavenly Father,

Help me to see that I am not alone. Help me to realize that you are with me, always. Help me to reach out to others and lean on others. Lord help me to grow in the ways you want and need me to grow and keep me on the correct path for my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Blessings to you; may you always know Jesus Loves You.

Jesus Can Turn any Mess into a Message of Hope

#HopeAlways#HaveFaith