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Words Have Power~Use Them Wisely

Personal growth

When you do something for the first time, no matter what it is and you have success, how does it make you feel? On top of the world? Excited? Fuel your passion? But what happens if you try something you have never done and you don’t succeed like you thought you would. What happens? Do you try again or accept defeat? Do you give up and say defeating things to yourself? Things like, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m a failure,” “I can’t do this,” “What was I thinking?”.

Listen up people, our words have such power and sometime’s we don’t even realize that we speak them over ourselves or others. We speak and don’t stop to think about the impact our words can have. We don’t even have to speak it, we can just think defeating, negative thoughts, and they too can have power, if you let them.

As many schools across the nation gear up for students coming back, flooding the hallways and classrooms with chatter, backpacks, books and forming new memories, I encourage you to speak life into others and over yourself, too.

It is so easy to get caught up in what the world thinks about you. Your looks, your attitude, the clothes you wear, the books you read, the exercise regime you have or don’t have. There are so many times that all it takes is for one person, whose self-esteem is so low that one comment, not even made directly to them, can have such an impact on how they view themselves and if they are good enough. Good enough to get a raise or a promotion, good enough to be chosen for that one sports team they really want to be a part of, good enough to have friends and not feel so alone and isolated.  And we are all guilty of saying things, without meaning to hurt anyone, that our words and actions do. At least I am guilty of that.

I remember when my children, were school age and struggling with math, I made the mistake of sharing with them how hard math was for me, how much I struggled and how much I disliked the subject. I didn’t learn algebra or geometry because it wasn’t a requirement for me to graduate high school. That statement has haunted me for years because I indirectly influenced how and what they thought about math and numbers and equations and learning about it. They began to believe that if it was difficult for me, it was difficult for them. However, I didn’t realize how much that one statement affected them until they needed to buckle down and become proficient in those areas so they could graduate high school several years ago.  Only when my daughter referred back to my statement of how hard it was for me, did I realize that I had negatively impacted her learning. Boy did I feel horrible.

I’ve been reading a book by Psychologist Shad Helmstetter, What You Say When You Talk to Yourself and it has been eye opening how much we can make statements and not even realize that we begin to believe what we have said and those lies become beliefs.

In the Word of God, God even warns us to take our thoughts captive and to not speak or think things that are of the world and not of Him.

Proverbs 4:23Good News Translation (GNT)

23 Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.

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Proverbs 4:13Good News Translation (GNT)

13 Always remember what you have learned. Your education is your life—guard it well.

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Proverbs 18:21New King James Version (NKJV)

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

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Our words have power. We can destroy people with thoughtless statements, or we can choose to think before we speak and we can build others up. We can encourage one another and believe in people and instill belief in others.  A tiny spark can set a forest ablaze.  A positive statement can have a ripple effect and change the world!

I am reminded of something my mother used to say to me, “do unto others as you would have them do to you”. In other words, be kind, think before you speak. Remember this acronym to help you:

 

May you know that you are Worthy, You are Loved, You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made and may you know how much Jesus Loves You!

Blessings to all~Carlene

 

 

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Stand Up & Be Kind

“Bullying is something that we need to talk more about. We need to stop it from happening if we witness it. All of us have the power within us to make a difference, but the fact is many people allow it to go on because it’s easier than getting involved.

Cyberbully

When I was a child, I was bullied because I did not fit into the mold of the correct size of peers my own age. I was very tall and I felt oversized. I used the excuse of being big-boned like my grandma and that was how I was created. The fact of the matter was there was nothing wrong with me or my size. I was the right weight for my height, but that didn’t help me feel any better. It was like I had to make excuses for why I was the way I was all the time. We have all heard it said, “kids can be so cruel.”  I have learned over the years that if parents don’t teach their children the right way to be toward others and to see differences as just that and not reasons to be mean, children will continue to be cruel even if they don’t realize they are. Most children are honest to a fault, because they haven’t learned that sometime’s being honest about how someone looks or how they dress, may be the best they can be and being different can be scary to others.

I grew up with a sister that is deaf. So, I automatically became a defender, even if she didn’t want one or need one. There was no way I would let anyone mistreat her with words of ignorance or any other actions. The truth is she didn’t need me to stand up for her, she did this quite well and still does today.

When our children were going through grade school, junior high and senior high school, they too faced times of bullying and as a parent, that was not okay with me. They did not want me to step in, that would just make it worse, put a target on them, so to speak. I did step in, I did contact the principal, guidance counselors, teachers and anyone else that needed to be talked to because I wanted my children to not only get an education, but I wanted them to feel safe at school and not afraid to go.

I have learned over the years that most people who target others to bully, demean or belittle have their own issues of insecurity or have never been treated kind, and they lash out instead of facing their own difficulties.

STOP BULLYING

As we have progressed as a society, and electronics have become a way to live, communicate and thrive, it has also opened up doors, bigger than any of us can close on our own, on bullying. Now it doesn’t have to be done face to face; it can be done through social media posts, Instagram photos and cyber attacks that can’t be traced.

Most. if not all reputable websites have policies in place against bullying others, being vulgar or using profanities, but the Web is a huge and controls put out there to monitor such actions can’t keep up.

I know I can’t change the world all by myself, but I can choose to create ripples of kindness instead of ripples of hate. Every word and thought I have I choose. Every way I choose to react is a choice. Each time I see someone being belittled or hated on, I can choose to speak up against it or I can turn away.

My choice is to be kind and to show kindness still exists.

Tonight, a dear friend, was telling me about her day at work and how she had to defend someone because another co-worker was being insensitive and mean. She talked about how it angered her that the person being mean thought it was okay to act like that. She talked about how she was bullied when she was younger and I think that those of us that have been treated unkind know what it’s like and we don’t want another person to feel that way. Ever.

My mother always taught us that it costs nothing to be kind. We never know what kind of battle someone is facing. But we can always be kind.

My challenge to all of you reading this is this: be a little kinder, turn the other cheek, remember we all have struggles, real or imagined and being mean, hateful, spiteful, or hurtful doesn’t help. Think before you speak. Love each other. And the Golden Rule, if you can’t say something nice, keep your words to yourself.

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers, and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. – Galatians 5:13 NLT

There is enough evil and hate in this world. It’s time we start taking the world by the horns and showing others what living in love and living like Jesus is all about!

May you know how much Jesus Loves You!

Blessings to you!