Joy

Carlene Wooddell

Clean Slate

As 2019 draws to a close, my prayer for each of you is that 2020 will be your best year yet.

Sickness plagued me the last half of the year. And as I continue to recover this blog has suffered too.

It is my fervent prayer that not only will you see God in every detail of your life you will also sense Him with you always.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

2020 is but moments away…a Clean slate to write your story.

May you always know how much Jesus loves you! He can turn any mess into a message and any test we face into a testimony!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Happy New Year 2020!

Blessings,

Carlene

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Carlene Wooddell

My Mind

Hello everyone! I am still here. I am finding it much more difficult to write because focusing and concentrating requires a lot more effort than I have ever had to have, until now. Many days God brings to mind something he wants me to share with you and by the time it is quiet and I can sit down to write, the words are all jumbled in my mind. I know the message is important, but the ease at which I wrote before, isn’t there. It comes in bits and pieces and now I am having to write it down and hope that when I choose to share, it will make sense to you as it does to me.

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I am a person, that admittedly, likes to be in control of at least me and my thoughts. And it’s been hard to put the words into a sentence or paragraph that makes sense.

Romans 8:26 New Living Translation (NLT)
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

I am thankful that when I don’t know the words to use, The Holy Spirit intercedes for me with the Father, Christ Jesus our Lord and shares my prayers and cries. If you know Jesus and have a relationship with Him, he already knows all your needs, but he wants you to tell him and share with him just as you would with your closest friend. He wants to hear about all of your life, the good times, as well as the trying times. Many people cry out in prayer to the Father only when things aren’t going well or they really need his help, but He also wants to share in your joys! And if He doesn’t answer your prayers as you want, then many times, the faith you have suffers, because why would a good God allow bad things to happen? That is the question of the ages. God’s ways are not our own. No matter how much we try and see it from a perspective of God, we will never understand it. There are many mysteries that will not be revealed until He is ready to reveal them.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

And just as I don’t understand why my mind is affected in this way as a result of surviving sepsis, I know that God has a plan and I will continue to trust Him as it unfolds. Sometime’s we have to get to the end of ourselves, so we can see God working in our lives. To fully rely on Him, means we must be willing to give up what we think is best and trust Him.

It is and can be scary, the unknown; but God will never put you in harm’s way and never allow the temptation to be more than you can bear.

1 Corinthians 10:13 English Standard Version (ESV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

No matter what challenge you are facing today or heartache, please know Jesus Loves you too much to leave you where you are at. He is always with you. Jesus can turn any mess in your life into a message and any test you face into a testimony! Never give up. Jesus loves you!#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Thanks, Dad!

Psalm 68:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.

 

Today is Father’s Day. I miss my daddy so much. I am 54 years old and I will always call him daddy. He went home to our Heavenly Father in September of 2015. Seems like just yesterday. I still remember hugging him and telling him I loved him, as I left him that day, in his home in Florida, because I couldn’t miss any more work. I knew it wouldn’t be long and he would be home where he longed to go. I think of him all the time, and want so bad to pick up the phone and just hear his voice. But I sense him every now and then, and I know he’ s keeping an eye on me from there. I know I will see him again and that will be a joyous day for sure!

I want to say thank you, daddy, for always teaching me what being a parent is. That being friends with your children isn’t because you don’t love them; it isn’t because you aren’t cheering them on to be the best person they can be; it is because you can’t be a parent to them and raise them and be their best friend. It took me many years as a parent myself to understand that. But when I was in my teens and wanted my daddy to be my friend, I just was crushed that he told me in no uncertain terms, “I’m not your pal, I’m not your buddy, I’m your dad.” Period.

And let’s face it, we can have great relationships with our parents, our fathers, but we can’t have it both ways growing up. As a child, we need our parents to set boundaries and being a friend can get sticky because friends do things with you, parents would absolutely say no to. He was very wise. Always. He taught me about Jesus. He taught me about helping others; wanting nothing in return. He taught me about life and how to get through it when all I wanted to do was give up. He taught me that giving up isn’t an option. Life isn’t fair. Get over it. Move on. He taught me what it means to respect others, especially those older than you. I never had to doubt the type of man he was, because he lived it daily. He showed me what a good work ethic was and what it meant to have one. He embodied integrity and being honest to a fault. He showed me that when you make a promise, you follow through. Your words mean something. And like me, he didn’t know how to give a “reader’s digest” version of anything. I get that from him. He taught me about so many things in the 50 years he was my daddy, that there isn’t enough space to write it all down, but I hold it dear to my heart and think of the great times we had together. I miss him so very much.

12002285_10153693477532317_59695028194444929_n IMG_20150409_185650_610 Daddy memorial

 

This message is for any person that is a father to a child(and let me be clear, anyone can be a sperm donor, but it takes a real man to be a father). To the men that step up and become a father by choice or chance, Happy Father’s Day! To the men that share those sleepless nights with others, coach their children’s little league teams, when they could be doing a thousand other things, to the daddies that hold their child’s fingers in the NICUs of the world, to the ones that are about to become a dad, Happy Father’s Day!

And to the moms, grandparents, and others that don’t have a “father” in your child’s life, this day is for you too. For the many male role-models in the lives of children, that show them how to do things most father’s do, thank you.

We have two grandchildren that do not have their “donors” in their lives. Their choice. Yes, I may be a bit bitter about it, but these children will never know that they aren’t loved and cared for because there are men in their lives that fill the gap. Maybe one day they will ask, why they don’t have a daddy and I know God will give me the wisdom to say the right words at the right time.

Psalm 103:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

And thank you to our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ our Lord, for being the Father that is always here for us, no matter what. Thank you for the unconditional love you have for each of us and the unmerited grace and mercy you shower upon us each and every day. Happy Father’s Day, Lord!

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! Right now and always!

Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony!

#HOPEALWAYSHAVE FAITH

Blessings~Carlene

 

Carlene Wooddell

**Defining Moments**

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.

1 John 5:14-15 NLT

The past few weeks, our church sermons have been about defining moments in our lives where you knew they were orchestrated by the Lord. Times of trials and joys and what was it that made it a defining moment for you? Did this moment in time grow your faith? Show you how much Jesus listens to you, your cries, your prayers? And would you be willing to share your testimony of what those defining moments looked like in your life?

These sermons started me thinking. What have some of the most defining moments in my life been and there are two that stand out. Oh yes, I have had more than two and I am sure at some point I will share those also, but these really rooted my faith in the Father.

I gave up my life to follow Jesus at the age of 11. I have always been someone that loves Jesus. I had drifted away from talking to him all the time, but in 2006, after many hard times, and trying to do it all on my own, not leaning into Him or focusing on His strength, not mine, he showed up in a pretty big way. If you have heard this before, please forgive the repeat, but these moments were huge for me.

I used to work for a big box retailer and part of my job that day was to count products and make sure they were scanning correctly, fixing shelf labels and enter the data into our system if errors were found. This particular afternoon, I was in one of my least favorite sections of the store. The aisle that holds all the tiny travel sizes of shampoos, toothpaste, lotions, etc.  Those are always a nightmare to count and check, but in order to have accurate counts and correct pricing, like any other item, it had to be done.

I set to the task and started counting, scanning, making notations, printing labels and things were going fairly quickly and as customers appeared in the aisles, I would stop and greet them, ask if they needed help and then continue on with this exhaustive task. One customer kept reappearing in the aisle, but something was different about her. Although she had replied several times that she didn’t need help, I felt a nudge in my heart that not only did she need compassion more than ever, the Lord was telling me to pray for her.

At that moment in my life, I loved praying for others through texts and emails but wasn’t confident about praying out loud for anyone. I always felt I would mess it up somehow, or I wouldn’t know what to say. And if you know Jesus, he doesn’t let us stay in our comfort zone for very long. He is constantly working to stretch us beyond our abilities because this is when He is our strength. He is the wisdom we need in our lives. And as futile as it was, internally I was arguing with Him. I was struggling to offer to pray. But no matter how many times I tried to focus on my job, the Lord wasn’t having any part of it and so I stood from my kneeling position and I asked once again if I could help her.

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As she started to speak, tears gently rolled down her cheek. She told me that she had a brain tumor. She was told that without the surgery, to remove the tumor, she would die, but if she chose to have the surgery, there was a 50% chance she would recover and live a long life. It was scheduled for a few days away and her family didn’t believe in Jesus or God and that she was struggling in what to do. And then she apologized for burdening me with her problems.

I asked for her name. She told me her name was Robyn. I introduced myself to her, although clearly she already knew my name as my name badge was there for the world to see. And then, with a lot of trepidation and internal fear, I asked if I could pray for her. She said that would be great, she always welcomed prayers. But I wasn’t sure she understood my request. So, I went onto say, may I pray for you right now at this moment? Again, she agreed. I asked if I could place my hand on her shoulder and she said yes (by now a small crowd had gathered in this aisle, listening to every word) and I asked God to give me the words. I don’t recall what the words were, but I prayed with her and over her. We hugged and she cried. There were many tears that day. Before she left, she told me that earlier in the day, she had cried out to the Lord and said, Lord if you are in agreement with me having this surgery, I need a sign. I need to know I am doing what should be done. She told me she knew she would be okay and slowly walked away.

I never saw her again. But I know she is living her life to the fullest. And that was the day, I stopped letting fear take over and started listening to the nudges from the Holy Spirit. I think about that moment as if suspended in time. I can see her face, I can feel how I used to think – Why me? Why can’t someone else do it? – and I still remember the blessing of being able to walk in obedience and do what was asked of me, even if I did it with a little bit of fear.  As for my work that day, I did complete it, but with a lot more joy in my heart than when I had started.

The enemy will do everything in his power to squash us, our faith, our relationship with Jesus. He will create doubt within us if we let him. Don’t.  Trust that no matter what Jesus calls you to do, he will give you everything you need to accomplish it!

Christmas tree stand

 

The second most defining moment had to do with our Christmas tree. Our son, now 23, was 11 years old and he loved everything to do with Christmas, but especially putting up the tree. During this season in our lives, there were no extra funds for anything extra. Gifts were made for our children and maybe a few special items from a dollar store.

The night we drag the Christmas tree box out of storage, sort the branches by size and reach into the box to get the plastic tree stand out, his boyish grin, all excited with anticipation, falls to the floor and sadness overtakes his entire face. His shoulders are slumped down and he is about to give up because the plastic stand was old and somehow had broken in several pieces while in storage.  He knew our situation. He knew we didn’t have money to buy a new tree with a stand or a stand that we could use, but I have always believed duct tape is the only tool I need. His father and I were separated and his father lived far away, so coming up with a solution to mend this stand, was forming in my mind, but I knew this was a way to teach him about faith.

I assured him that not all hope was lost. I asked him to retrieve a small board from my closet and the roll of duct tape. I was sure we could fix it. He tried to be brave and not let me see his tears and said, “it’s okay mom, we don’t need a tree this year.” My heart sank. I asked if he believed in the power of prayer and if he believed that God could make this tree stand. He said maybe. So, as I begin to tape together the stand, I prayed to ask God to help me. I knew that for my child to believe, he needed something tangible that he could see. And God knew that too.

After several moments of attempting to tape it together and then fashioning it into something that resembled a tree stand, we secured it to the small wooden board. Again, I asked him, if you believe in your heart that Jesus is God and God can do anything, will you pray with me and let’s ask God to help us help our little tree stand, with all the ornaments and lights on it. With the star on top. For God to strengthen this heavy tree, so we could celebrate Jesus and His birthday. AND if the cat, went exploring, as she always did when the tree was put together, that the broken stand would hold her ground. So we bowed our heads and held onto that board and we prayed. We also thanked God for his love for his children and for his help.

I have no doubt it was all God. That little stand and that tree with heavy ceramic ornaments and many strands of light and a very inquisitive cat,  held up until the tree was finally tossed out as it had many years of use (approximately 10 total, 4 with the mended stand). And his faith grew. He knew that he could go to prayer to God about anything, anytime and God would listen.

As our son, has grown into a man, he knows that sometime’s God says yes, sometimes no and sometime’s wait. But I know as a mother, that was one of his defining moments and definitely one of mine; I am so blessed by the love Jesus shows every day to each of us.

These moments remind me in my darkest times, that God is always with me. That I don’t have to be perfect or have all the answers, because HE is and HE does. It is my responsibility to trust Him in everything and for everything.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! You are His child. He is always listening. He can and will use any mess as a message to others and any test you go through as a testimony to His glory! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

Carlene Wooddell

JOY

1 Thessalonians 5:15-19 New International Version (NIV)
15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

19 Do not quench the Spirit.

Joy comes from the Lord. Joy does not come or happen because of our circumstances and thank the Heavens for that.  If we depended on life’s circumstances to provide Joy in our lives, most times we would be sadly disappointed.

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Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  It is not something you can turn on and off at will. It is a gift from the Holy Spirit.  I hear so many people say that they can’t find their joy or have no idea what joy looks like because their lives are so hard or difficult.  Joy has nothing to do with any of that.

It took me many years of prayerful time with the Lord and leaning on more mature Christians who know the Word and could counsel me in Godly ways to understand Joy isn’t something that happens.  It is just a part of who we are. If you are a believer in Jesus and profess to be a Christian and live, walk, eat and breathe a Christ-like existence, you have Joy. Period.  There will be times you can’t seem to grasp it. Times you don’t feel very joyful at all, but it’s there.

If I depended on life to grant me the gift of joy, I would be hard pressed to find it most days.  Happiness comes and goes but the Joy of the Lord is forever.

The past few weeks have been blessings and blessings with challenges or opportunities, I guess if I am being my optimistic, positive self. Our fifth grandchild, our second granddaughter blessed our lives. I call her my little peanut.  She is so tiny and precious. Just weighing a little over 7 pounds. She came into this world, with a good set of lungs and even a little bit of stubbornness. She loves when its time to eat; a little bit of a guzzler, can’t seem to get enough, but refuses to burp, which has been quite a challenge. But she doesn’t cry unless she’s hungry or needs to be changed. She has bright eyes and loves to scoot around on her back when lying in her bassinet. She almost reminds me of a “game-spinner”.  It doesn’t matter what position you lay her on her back, as she gets settled, she usually ends up facing the other way and she is just two weeks old today!

Being able to be in the delivery room, while our daughter gave birth, was so joyous of an occasion. The first time around with her son, Tyson, my other little buddy, that you have read about, I was banished out of her sight. Because I am a crier. I can cry at the drop of a hat. It can be something as simple as a cute commercial on television or something that isn’t even real.  With Tyson, for me, seeing my first-born child giving birth, I was so overcome with emotions, tears were streaming down my face and she couldn’t handle seeing those tears and I was given strict instructions, “Mom, if you are going to cry, you’re going have to back up, I don’t want to see you crying!” So, even though I was in the room to witness his birth, I wasn’t right by her side.

With our tiny Emmalin, I sat and held her hand, bound and determined, that no matter what, I would not let the tears spill out. And I held them at bay.  This time it was watching a miracle.  The miracle of watching our daughter give birth naturally (all the while, observing the epidural not work, pain meds do nothing to alleviate her pain of the harrowing back labor she was experiencing) with pure love, sheer grit, and determination to bring her daughter into view, was one of the most beautiful sights, this grandma’s eyes have ever seen! Praying and thanking Jesus for allowing me to watch and helping me to conceal my tears of joy. And realizing what a strong woman our daughter is. Even though she usually disagrees on being strong, this time she was strong and earned the respect of her parents, her older sisters, and her brother.

Ty & Emma
Big brother holding baby sister/Ty & Emma

As our family is growing, and we are learning new routines, Tyson is doing is best to be a good big brother. There are many challenges that go along with bringing a baby home to a home with a toddler that has had the rule of the territory for four and a half years. And while he proclaims to everyone and anyone, that’s “his baby”, he doesn’t understand why she can’t get on the floor and play with him or why he isn’t allowed to carry her around like a rag doll or why it’s not a good idea to poke her with his fingers in her face.

As we are ever vigilant, hyper-vigilance has become our new norm when he is awake as we have no idea what he may or may not do next. The jealousy of a new baby isn’t as noticeable as I thought it might be, because his mom and my husband and I are making special times for him too and there are many days you will find the baby in her arms, while she is sitting on the couch and him right beside them as close as he can get.  As with everything new for him, it will take some time for him to realize how “babies” actually work. He doesn’t comprehend why she can’t share goldfish crackers with him, but I think it’s great that he wants to share with her, just the same.

I am doing my best to hope and pray that the similarities I notice with Emmalin and Tyson are because they are siblings and not for any other reason, but it has always been on the forefront of my mind if she too will have some or all of the special needs he has and I continually pray that whatever needs she has, God, will continue to equip us to care for them as they need.

As an update for Tyson, he is thriving at his ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy sessions. He loves going and right now he is attending 3 afternoons a week after he gets home from school.  On days when the weather closes the center, he is sad and doesn’t understand why he can’t go. As we continue to add more structure to his day, his aggressive behaviors and sensory meltdowns are not as bad. Instead of 6 hours a day dealing with them, some days it may only be a couple of hours to only 30 minutes. What a lifesaver this has been for all of us; as well as changing to ADHD medications that are working better for him than the ones he was previously taking.  We have also found, that playing with dominoes that his great-grandmother gifted him last year, can usually keep him focused and entertained for a while, without bouts of throwing or screaming.

Galatians 5:22 New Living Translation (NLT)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

May you know how much Jesus Loves you~right now and always! He can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony.  #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Faith Can Move Mountains

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 NLT

person on a bridge near a lake
Photo by Simon Migaj on Pexels.com

 

I read the above verse, and I am reminded that I have the  Holy Spirit with me. He dwells within me and I know that without Him, I wouldn’t have made it this far.  Each approaching new year, there are always goals/visions/hopes/dreams we each have. Some people make New Year’s Resolutions, others choose to make lifestyle changes, dietary changes, relationship changes, and some choose to just look at it as another day and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I look back over the past 12 months and I have seen a lot of hard behaviors to cope with, on a daily basis. Keeping the peace of Jesus in my heart and alive in my life has been nothing short of a miracle; many days I wept inwardly, wondering where that Peace was. How had I went from being able to handle almost anything that required coping skills, to being in constant prayer and conversation with my Maker because I felt I was losing my grasp on His Peace. What had gone so awry that I felt lost and alone, in a room full of people? And then I realized that I was relying too much on my own strength and not relying on His.

In our home, we have many medical diagnoses. Four of us live here, soon to be five give or take 6-7 weeks if our soon to be (second) granddaughter waits until her due date to make her arrival.  I personally deal with fibromyalgia, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, sleep apnea, degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine with facetous arthritis, osteoarthritis in my hip/knee joints, carpal tunnel syndrome, thyroid disorder, high blood pressure. Plus I live with people who suffer from depression/anxiety/heart/stroke/language disorders, autism, adhd, sensory processing disorder, epilepsy, and mental illness.

Keeping track of medical appointments, therapy schedules, labs that need to be completed in a timely manner and pregnancy-related appointments, just about makes my head spin; dealing with IEP’s and developmental delays….the list goes on.  If only one of us is having a rough day, we can manage pretty good; if all of us are having an off day, it’s a true struggle.

It’s remembering that I was not created to do things in my own strength.  I have heard, as I am sure you have too, that God will not give you any more than you can handle and there have been days I have questioned that statement. But the Truth is, God doesn’t expect us to handle anything on our own, but to turn to Him and rely on Him.

And while in the midst of my cries to the Father, seeking guidance on how to proceed with this life He allows me to live, waiting on His answer is always the hardest part for me. In the past two years, since retiring early due to disability, I thought for sure I knew the path He would take me, but it has been such an amazing and frustrating journey, that He only gives me glimpses of what He has called me to do. Just enough to take that next step of faith. I can only imagine that if I were to see the entire picture of the plan He has for my life, it would be so all-consuming, overwhelming that I might crumble at the thought of it.

In His infinite wisdom, He knows what is best for each of us. He provides for every need. It may not be the provision we envisioned, or even hoped for, but He always gives us just the right words, at just the right moment. And yes, He answers prayers. Some days it’s “Yes, my child.” “No, not now.” or “Wait, it’s not time for you to know yet.” In His perfect timing. I have learned not to pray for patience because patience always requires testing of some kind; so I pray for peace to get through those times.

Every single solitary thing we go through in life refines us into the people God created us to be. Some are very exciting and mind-blowing, others are so sad and sorrowful, we want to skip that process, but every single second of our lives, He is working in us and for us. And the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

I love my family more than my own life. I don’t like when we are nipping at one another, or being grumpier than normal, because it tears me up inside. I guess though, that since we are human, that is bound to happen from time to time.

I’ve been in my own world for weeks now. A close dear friend is fighting the battle of her life with a cancer diagnosis and no definitive results yet on exactly the type of or the best type of treatment for her. And when I think of all she has been through, what her family is going through daily, I give thanks because my problems don’t seem so out of control as they feel. The strength and courage that she has shown, in living out her faith and trusting in the Lord brings joy to my heart and encourages me to look for every single blessing I have or blessings I have overlooked.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Whatever mountain you are facing in your lives today, please know there is a Savior that would love to hear from you. He is always available. He is always listening.

Jesus can turn any mess into a message of hope and any test into a testimony.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right here-right now!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Daily Life Struggles

Proverbs 15:15 The Message (MSG)

15 A miserable heart means a miserable life;
a cheerful heart fills the day with song.

 

With joy in my heart, I still struggle.  Joy comes from the Lord and no one can take that from me. I can choose to live with a joyful heart and know that I will still face many struggles and trials, but still, love and be the person I am because God has placed Joy in my heart or I can choose to live without joy and be miserable always.

Over the weekend, the fibromyalgia flared up and reared its ugly head. The constant pain that never fully leaves, but some days are so rough, that just breathing and moving, make you question if getting out of bed was the right thing to do. And knowing that if you choose to remain in your bed, how many things will face you to take care of once you arise.  Most of us that have fibromyalgia know that sometimes the best we can do for ourselves is to stay in our beds or the comfy places we have carved out in our homes. We do not have the energy to get dressed, shower, or do any extra. Getting up takes every ounce of energy just to be able to spend time with our families, and going anywhere is totally out of the question. That was me on Saturday. I showed up, in my nightgown and I stayed in my nightgown all day. I KNEW I was not going out into the cold for any reason and I saw no point in causing myself more pain to get dressed simply because that was expected of me.

I have dealt with FM for 10 years. And for the past year, it has been manageable. But for the past several months, I have noticed since stopping the natural supplements I was using, my inflammation throughout my body and the pain levels have been increasing again.  I choose to work through my pain in prayer and time with the Lord. Limiting what I do. Staying in more than going out and while dealing with my own health battles, helping our grandson through his.

He has come a long way in the past two years since being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. He talks now. He is becoming very independent, but also very demanding. He is four. When he wants something, he wants it now. And even though he asks for something correctly and always says please, he does not understand when he is told no.  He tries again, to word it differently or even smile and say please and sometime’s the answer is still no. I know it must be confusing, because he is being polite, and saying please, but simply does not understand that even if you do everything right, sometime’s the answer will still be no.

So imagine being in such excruciating pain, that you do not want anyone touching you; let alone a four-year-old jumping on you, bouncing into you, climbing on you, but you don’t dare say no because you don’t want to make him feel unloved. He doesn’t understand what it means when I say “that hurts” or “please don’t do that”. And he loves to give big hugs, he loves deep pressure. He loves climbing behind me on the sofa and me leaning back on him, but all I want to do is cry because every amount of playtime for him is pain time for me. But I do it because this brings him comfort and joy. Love is powerful that way.

I left my home on Sunday to go to church. I needed that more than I knew. I didn’t realize how much I missed the interaction with others until I was there. I interact with people daily through social media and texting, but it just isn’t the same as being able to see smiles, receive hugs and just be loved on for simply being you. By the time, my husband and I arrived at the church with our grandson in tow, we were both emotional. My emotions were creeping near the surface, ready to spill out in the form of tears. My husband was frustrated because our grandson is a runner and any chance he gets, he bolts. Even though he had his safety harness on, and my husband was holding onto the strap, he wasn’t ready to go on a run with him.

And Tyson has learned that if we are trying to pick him up from the ground, and we want him to stand, all he has to do is bend his knees when we are lifting him and he becomes heavier to maneuver.  He is big for his age. He’s four, but weighs 50 pounds and is over three and a half feet tall. Carrying him for any length of time is strenuous to us “old” folks. Wrestling him into his car seat so we can go anywhere is an everyday battle. Once in the seat, he does ok, but getting him in the seat is a battle, every single time. And he has to be in a five-point harness because otherwise he would be climbing all over the vehicle and exploring.  Safety and danger are words he does not understand. He always wants to sit in a regular seat with just a seatbelt but we know that won’t happen until he is much older.

Walking into the church lobby, as we were greeted, the tears started welling up, and I just didn’t have the strength to hold them back or hide behind a pasted-on smile and pretend everything was good. I was tired. Tired of my own pains, tired of always struggling with Tyson when we need to leave the house. Tired of always being the positive one. We all have our breaking point. Yesterday was mine.  I know the devil will do anything he can to try and break me. For the past three weeks, I have opted not to leave the house on Sunday. I’ve made excuses, stayed home, watched our church’s live stream of the sermon and remain isolated because that was so much simpler than struggling with him to go anywhere. In doing that, though, I lost out on connecting with other people and being surrounded by people that love us through all our struggles; people that are compassionate and caring and offer to help in any way they can.

Sailing Life

I think for most of us that live with autistic individuals it’s not that we don’t welcome the offers of help or hope that someone will be willing to help, it’s that we don’t know what kind of help to ask for. Our home is “proofed” for him. We have specialized gates, taller than him to keep him safe and confined to an area of the home where there isn’t danger. We have learned not to have “pretty” things that he can break. We know if he is outside, he must always be (1) holding your hand tightly (2) have his safety harness on (3) be secured in his specialty stroller with a vest and five-point harness or (4) be in a fenced-in area where no escape is possible. We know he has food aversions and sensitivities. We must always have his emergency seizure medications at the ready and available. And the list goes on. Going anywhere, we must still take a change of clothes bag and appropriate necessities, because he isn’t potty trained yet. And if someone opts to take him for a few hours, what if he hurts himself, has a seizure, breaks something, gets sick. Yes, he is verbal now. Can he communicate everything he needs to? No.

The one thing I can offer to those willing to ask: please don’t stop asking. For me, it’s hard to ask for help for anything for myself, Tyson or our family. But I am learning to accept it. Accepting prayers from others is easy. I love to pray for others too. Accepting offers of helping with Tyson is getting easier, but I know how challenging his behaviors can be and I know that we never know from one moment to the next what he understands and what he doesn’t, but we do know he is very smart and intelligent in many ways. And letting go and accepting help may not be in my nature, but being part of a community of people that love us regardless of our challenges does truly make all the difference in the world.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right now~right at this moment and always.

Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

If You Could Do Anything, What would it Be?

The other night in a women’s Bible Study group, the question was posed ” If you could do anything you wanted, financially there was no limit and God had paved the way and gone before you, what would you do??

Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.- Deuteronomy 13:4 NLT

There were a lot of great answers and I selfishly said, I would want to go away and take a break! And at that moment, I meant it.

But I have been giving that question a lot of thought since that night because we all have hopes and dreams, things that we think are way too big or too impossible and I realize that with God, NOTHING is impossible.

27 And Jesus, looking upon them, said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” – Mark 10:27 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

I believe that sometime’s we get so caught up in the day to day busyness of our lives, no matter what that busyness looks like and we store away our hopes and dreams for ‘when the time is right’ or ‘when I have enough money’ or ‘when our kids are grown’ or ‘once I get that promotion’ and I know that is not how God intended for us to live.  Always thinking that we have to wait until everything is perfect before we try something new, fulfill a lifelong dream, reach for an unreachable desire in our hearts.

I love ministering to others by sharing my story, here, and in person of how my life has been touched by Jesus Christ. I love encouraging others and sharing what it is like to walk by faith and not by sight. My heart is full when friends ask me to pray for them or a situation or share the Word with them.

Follow Your Heart

God will use anyone how He chooses.  The fact is we have to be willing and we have to be obedient to His call. Many people hear from the Lord in a number of ways, and those ways are just as different as there are people to hear Him. I feel a nudge in my spirit to share a message or word He gives. And sometime’s I understand what I am to do and I don’t always obey because fear sets in.  Fear is a tool of the enemy.  The devil will use any tool in his power to stop me in my tracks. Doubt may creep in and I worry more about how I will look, and what people will think, more than caring about The One that nudges me to go and do His work. Sometimes it doesn’t have to make any sense to me.  But I still need to do it.  Walking in obedience to the Lord should be the easiest thing for any of us to do, but many times the chaos of our lives shuts out His voice.  Until we think we need Him and then we wonder why we can’t hear Him. He is always with us and always waiting to connect with us through every part of our lives and always listening.

I still don’t have a solid answer for what would I do if money was no object and God had blessed my vision for what my lifelong dream would be, so I will be still in the waiting and seek his guidance. I do have thoughts, but nothing concrete. I can say, without a doubt it would be geared toward people that have special needs due to a medical/disability diagnosis, but exactly what they type of ministry would it be, I don’t have all the details yet, just a burning fire within me to help these groups of people and it really isn’t any wonder since I love and care for someone that is very special to me and has very special needs.

I would like to encourage you to pursue your dreams. Find something you love and go do it! Because God will give you all the tools you need to fulfill your wildest and crazy dreams; He places those desires in your heart.  It will take grit, determination, and perseverance and there may be times you think you got it all wrong, but this is where your faith comes in.  Faith is believing even when you can’t see!

I do know from my own point of view, I’ve had a tugging at my heart to do something for Special Needs Individuals, that isn’t out there yet-I just have no idea what it is at the moment. And more than just the little guy in our lives that requires so much.

I learned a long time ago, that if you are doing what you love, you will excel at it; if you are working just to earn a paycheck and you hate it; it’s not where you are supposed to land forever.  It may just be a stopping point along your path, to help you grow in an area that needs growth.  God doesn’t have us anywhere to waste our time.  There is always a purpose. And when the time is right, God will have you move and go.  Don’t fear the going. Trust in your Creator.  He knows everything about you.  Everything.

Ministry-serving others can happen anywhere. In our homes, the grocery store, a foreign land, in our day to day with others. We are called to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ and His story.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You ~ right where you are ~ in every moment of your lives! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings ~ Carlene

Carlene Wooddell

My Catherine the Great

Proverbs 31:11-31 English Standard Version (ESV)
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[a] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[b]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates

She is beautiful inside and out.

She is loving and caring.

She is kind and compassionate.

She is fiercely protective of those she loves and cares about.

She is full of passion for what she believes in and always stands up for her beliefs.

She is strong and does not easily back down.

She is determined and does not quit, that is not an option and she will find her way around any obstacle in her path.

She is an artist with a flair for repurposing items that people see no value in. She brings old things back to life.

She is a great listener and works toward a solution, rather than complain about a problem.

She is an amazing mom of three college graduates who are changing the world around them.

She is a wife, a mom,  an aunt, a sister, and a daughter.

She is an emergency 911 dispatcher who works more hours than should be humanly possible. The first voice you might hear, full of calm and reserve as she manages 500 things at once.

She is a former school bus driver that loved her riders as if they were her own children.

She is an animal lover and considers them family, not just pets.

She never has enough time to take care of herself, she is always caring for others and burning the candle at both ends.

She is wise beyond her years and has seen many things most people will never have to see.

She is faithful and will celebrate 29 years of marriage this month to her loving husband.

She was a cheerleading mom and advisor when her daughter was school age.

She loves her community and has a great tribe that she holds dear and close to her heart.

But one of the best things she is…..she is my sister. And I love her with all my heart and soul. Today is her birthday. I don’t see her as often as I would like, but I hope she knows how very proud I am of her, her accomplishments, which are too many to mention. I know she is always a phone call away. Our family is very blessed indeed!

Cathy

Catherine, I love you sis and I pray that today your birthday will be all you hope for and more! You deserve it! Much love~Carlene

 

May you know how much Jesus Loves You-right in this moment-right where you are! Jesus can turn any mess into a message of hope. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all!