Archives

In Just One Week

I have been using Plexus Supplements for one week now, and while I have not noticed any significant weight loss, I have noticed a significant difference in my pain levels. Before using the supplements, my pain levels were 10+ and now I can confidently say they are around a 7. That is huge for me. As a sufferer of Fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions, pain is a part of my life every day.

I am taking the following supplements: Plexus Slim – 1 single serve packet mixed with 20 ounces of water 30 minutes before my evening meal, Ease caplets twice daily to help with exertion and fatigue, Nerve caplets twice daily to help support healthy nerve cells and the nervous system, Mega X twice daily plant based Omega 3’s without the fishy smell and XFactor, a multivitamin and antioxidant which helps promote a healthy immune system.

SALAD

I am starting to sleep better, drinking more water instead of caffeinated drinks, although I have not given up my coffee yet and making better food choices along the way. I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical that any supplement could make such a difference, but I am sold. The more I am able to get up and move, along with healing my body from the inside out, the better I feel.

After being in miserable pain for 7 years, I am excited to see how well I will feel after taking the supplements for 90 days!

If you wish to learn more about Plexus and the Supplements that are changing the way I think and feel, feel free to contact me through Plexus.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all!

Free Me From This Prison

Every single second of every day I pray for a reprieve from this insidious pain I live with, called my body.

Fibromyalgia Prison

Today is a very high level pain day for me and normally I wouldn’t even feel like sitting at the computer, but sitting here is the only place I have felt any comfort today. Comforted knowing that I am not the only one in the world crying out to Jesus and asking for the pain to lessen or better yet, stop.

Living with chronic illness never gets any better, but there are days that are bearable.

Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve this pain. Before I had FM, I thought there is no way someone could be in as much pain as I had heard, but I received a strong lesson in assuming once it wracked my body.

Getting a reprieve from the pain and fatique, if only for a day would be so great. The problem with feeling good on low level pain days is I tend to go for the gusto and overdue it, but I don’t realize I overdid it until it is way too late to stop. Several weeks ago, I was able to go grocery shopping and make it through the entire store and not have to sit down. I was able to go for over an hour that day and then, even though my energy levels were draining, I came home and did housework. That was over 3 weeks ago.

Today, I got dressed and went one place and was only there for a total of 5 minutes, came home and feel like I have ran a marathon.  There is no rhyme or reason to this disorder. Fibromyalgia has its own set of symptoms, as many as 250, it’s different for everyone. Right now the vice like gripping pain in my rib cage and the tingling, burning sensations in my legs is just about enough to send me over the edge.

I don’t have the luxury of laying down right now and I am so close to just giving up, it’s not even funny. I am an optimistic person and for me to feel this bad, and express it to anyone, especially where hundreds of people may read it, tells me I have let my pain levels get too high.  It is entirely my fault. If I would learn that the dishes can wait, the laundry piled up can wait, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Normally my glass is half full, but today it is empty. I do not like this disorder and I do not like feeling this way.  I am so very tired of my body and all it’s nerves and muscles punishing me daily because I choose to live, as best I can, instead of allowing this illness to confine me to a bed. So, yes, a reprieve would be nice every now and then.

 

Psalm 18:1New Living Translation (NLT)

1 I love you, Lord;
you are my strength.

You, Lord, are my strength. You carry me all the days of my life. I cry out to You, Jesus. Help me to endure this torment that is within me.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You!

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

Blessings to all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Reprieve

Fibromyalgia~Not for the Faint of Heart

FibroWarrior

Living with fibromyalgia isn’t for the faint of heart. You learn to live with a high pain tolerance, otherwise, you would never get out of bed. The television commercials, saying fibromyalgia is a disorder with widespread pain doesn’t even begin to describe the pain and makes it seem that there is no way you can all over body pain at once, but you do.

Just being bumped into, can send shockwaves through your nervous system and can start a chain of events. Most times I have to still myself and breathe deeply to get past it. Today is a moderate pain day, but my energy levels are almost non-existent. I did manage to get dressed and eat some breakfast/lunch.

I made the mistake of thinking I could accomplish what needed to be done over the weekend and doing it on the same day instead of breaking it down into two or three days. I miss having a clean home. So, I set to task to cleaning and putting away toys that a three-year-old think it is okay to string through the house. Then came folding a week’s worth of laundry for a family of four, because it was getting harder and harder to find clothing items, without digging through 4 baskets of laundry. I played with said three years old, and him climbing on me and jumping up and down, big hugs and squeezes. He is full of energy and I fake it a lot.

Dishes had piled up in the kitchen, recyclables sat everywhere that need rinsed out, and placed in the bin. The floor needed cleaning. Two hours later the kitchen was cleaned. You can’t tell it now, it looks like I haven’t touched it.

What normally would have taken two to three hours max to clean, took almost 8. The constant need to sit down and take a break is ever present. Standing for more than 10 minutes at a time causes burning and searing pain in my lower back causes excruciating pain in my hips and legs. My legs and feet swell if I am up on them for any length of time and my skin stretches so tight my leg weeps. Even my legs “cry” because of the pain. Today, I have been sitting trying to rest and store up any small amount of energy so I can go to my women’s group at church tonight. If I do anything, I won’t have enough to drive up there and walk in. Dusting hasn’t even happened yet this week. I see it needs to be done, but that requires more energy than I have.

I have incessant itching on my arms and back, daily. Although I use prescribed lotions to help, it doesn’t take away the itching. Raw spots appear, followed by scabs. My arms look like a war zone, so when I go out I wear long sleeve shirts even if it is warm out, fewer questions and embarrassment to deal with.

Sleep patterns are no longer restful sleep. When I was working full time, I would be severely depleted when I came home and by the time dinner and bath time was over, sleep was not a problem. Now insomnia attacks daily. As a person that also suffers from severe sleep apnea, not only do I use a CPAP machine at night to help keep my airway open, in the attempts to achieve REM sleep, the restorative sleep our bodies need, I also must use supplemental oxygen, because without it ,my oxygen levels in my blood drop to dangerously low levels. My oxygen levels drop to 60%. It should be at 92% or higher. It is so frustrating. I can feel exhausted and just want to go to bed and then once I am there, I can’t sleep. I have learned sleeping without my CPAP causes a whole host of other problems. Headaches, body cramps, confusion, extreme fatigue. It’s like sleeping without any oxygen coursing through your veins. Almost a lifeless state. And days after that occurs, you literally drag yourself to just function. Doing anything that requires attention to detail, can cause you to nod off. It is not a way to live.

When I first wake up in the morning, I have a hard time focusing, even with my eyeglasses on. My eyes feel like there is a haze glued to them and it takes almost 30-40 minutes before objects are clear enough to see.

Sitting in any one position for too long causes pain in my hips and knees and since their is also arthritis in my back, hips, and knees, it is a constant battle to just sit, move, lie down. I know from living with all of these chronic ailments that I have to keep moving and have to push myself, otherwise, I will be in such horrific pain, I won’t want to do anything. But, I have to be careful not to overdo it or I will be down for the count. The fatigue is always there. It’s not just being tired from working too hard or not enough sleep, it is fatigue you can feel in your bones. It’s the type of fatigue that if you don’t lay down and rest for at least several hours, you will be physically sick.
You never know when it’s going to hit you and you pray you are at home when it does. It’s like being on a long road trip and you’re stiff and sore and if you don’t get out of the vehicle soon, you might just crash.

Fibromyalgia causes so many other symptoms, you never know what your day will bring until you are in the midst of it. For some people, heat makes it worse. For me, the cold is worse, because of arthritis. Although, I do tire more easily in humid weather.

To look at me, I may look tired and maybe even close friends see I am in pain, but I don’t look like I’m sick. I am thankful I don’t look like how I feel because it would be a scary sight. Between irritable bowel symptoms and constipation, there is always a fear of what will happen at any given time. It is no way to live. When you have FM, you are aware of everything but have no way of controlling it. Many people I know that have FM, use narcotic painkillers to help with the pain. I am not one of those people. Due to my oxygen levels and breathing problems, I can’t take those. So I use OTC pain meds to help take the edge off as well as Anti-Depressant meds to control some of the pain and the depression that comes with it.

I hesitate to make any concrete plans with family and friends, because once it’s time to go away, sometimes I just can’t do it. Or I do go and pay for it after the fact. This usually throws me into what’s called a fibro flare. When I’m in a flare up the pain is magnified 500 times. I don’t want anyone touching me and I don’t even want to breathe. Obviously breathing is important.
I wouldn’t “wish” this disorder on anyone. Living with chronic pain is one of the hardest things I have done so far.

I used to love to craft and plant flower beds and spend time outdoors, but now planting my flowers is out of the question. I don’t have the stability to kneel down on my knees or I fall over. I don’t have the muscle tone to stay upright. The degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine makes it nearly impossible to get up and down without help. IF I sit on a hard surface, it is easier to get up and down, but that too causes pain; if I sit in a recliner or on the sofa, I can’t get up without assistance. I prefer not to lay in bed all day, although there are days that is exactly what I have to do.

The one thing that gets me through all my pain and afflictions is Jesus Christ. I know He is with me always. I cry out to Him in prayer and let His peace wash all over me. The pain doesn’t end, but I know that no matter what pain I am enduring, Jesus understands and can comfort me.

Some days I cry and grieve of all the things I have lost that I cannot do anymore because of my disabilities, but I cherish the friendships I have gained because they have become a support system to me because these special friends suffer just like I do. We vent to one another; we laugh and cry together.

Invisible chronic illness is hard to live with because many people do not understand. Those of us with this disorder don’t like canceling plans and we don’t like complaining. We live in silence for the most part, because we too get tired of hearing it.

If you know or love someone with chronic pain and illness, be kind. If you haven’t lived the battle within, ask questions, but be prepared you may not like what you hear or you may want to help, but the best thing, sometimes, is just to listen. Let them know you care. It’s hard.
May 12th is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Learn what you can, because my guess is you know at least one person that suffers from this. It might even be you.

Blessings to all!

Hazy Days

Lately, I have had to stop in mid-sentence to try and recall what I was about to say or continually ask the same question, knowing I was given the answer multiple times, but I just can’t recall what it was. I do not like repeating myself and I don’t like asking others to repeat themselves. When this happens, I am tripping over myself apologizing and having to explain that sometimes the “brain fog” of Fibromyalgia is real and not an excuse for not listening.

Hazy Fog

It’s like leaving the room you’re in, to go get something from another room, but you feel like the rooms have moved and you have no idea how to get there from where you are. You think you must be losing your mind because you can’t keep track of simple details. It’s maddening, for me.  Sometimes the “fog” is like a haze. I stumble through my day, writing myself notes and writing everything down because I don’t want to ask again, and then misplacing the notes, only to find out they are right where I put them.

And going to the grocery when the “fibro fog” has settled in for a spell is a whole new thing. I must write everything down I need. If I do not put pencil to paper and notate it, even if it’s only two items, I will not be able to recall it.  I used to be able to remember the smallest of details. My mind was sharp. It’s frustrating because you never know when it will happen.

I play word games with friends and read to keep my mind active. I am working on teaching our grandson letters and numbers that he will need for preschool.  I think the most frustrating part of this “fog” is when I forget something that is really important. There are no do-overs. Apologies can be given, but how many times will that happen before people will stop relying on me?

I have always been able to stay on task and now I start something and don’t finish it because I forget what I started and move onto something else. Then I realize a few days later, I need to finish what I started. As I said, for me it’s maddening. The only solution I have found that truly helps is prayer. When I pray to Jesus and ask for His Peace to help me remain focused, I can sit with Him and just let His Peace wash over me.

Philippians 4:6-7New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Before I retired, I could work with vendors, keep track of all the details of a delivery, write up reports and take care of details, like a boss. Now, all the details seem to blur together and I have to sift through them to figure out what is important and what is not.

( “I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”)

 

kindle unlimited image

Join Amazon Kindle Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial

I often wonder if this is how people that suffer from dementia feel. If this is the same type of feelings they go through when they are searching for the right words to communicate their needs.  It is scary to think that a disorder such as Fibromyalgia could affect my brain in this way. Fibromyalgia is full of surprises. It’s kind of like the line from the Forrest Gump Movie,  My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”[1]See Footnote.

Lifting the Fog of Understanding

Fibromyalgia is a lot like that. You never know what you will get. I can guarantee from my point of view, though, it will not be sweet or delicious, as that chocolate might be. This fog that I live with does lift from time to time and I am very thankful for that.  I can’t imagine being in a haze all the time. It’s like trying to look through the thickest pair of eyeglasses there are (remember the term “coke bottle glasses”), and they are all smeared because you tried to clean them with a tissue that had lotion in it. No matter how much you try to rub the smears away, it just makes matters worse. That’s what the fog is like for me.

As with any symptom I face, I seek out the Lord and rely on his Word to pull me through when the days are tough to manage. When I want to give up and throw in the towel, I remember how much Jesus loves me. I remember that he has a plan for my life and I keep pressing on, knowing that the trials and afflictions I am facing now, prepare me to comfort those and encourage others that are in this silent battle. I am a warrior. I battle daily to live a normal life. I joke with others about old age and memory loss, as a way to cope.

Free-Audible-Audiobooks

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks

If you find that you, too, suffer from this thick, dense “brain fog” due to Fibromyalgia or another illness, know that you are not alone. As a warrior with a chronic, life-long illness, it is easy to have feelings of hopelessness. Remember Jesus is our Hope. Cling to Him. He will bring you through every trial you face. #HopeAlways#HaveFaith

John 14:27New Living Translation (NLT)

27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Lord Jesus, help all of us that suffer from “brain fog” to remain clear and concise, to discern what is of you Lord and what is not. I ask that you pour out your Peace upon us, the only true Peace there is and help us to stay calm through the storms. In Your Mighty Name, Jesus. Amen.

May you know how much Jesus loves you and may your cup overflow with blessings!

[1]Forrest Gump Movie Quote

What Do You See?

bucket-trip-to-the-mountains-082

When you see me, can you see the pain I am experiencing with every step? Or do you see the fake smile and laughter I display so you don’t know how bad I hurt?

When you see me, can you see the numbness and tingling in my lower spinal area and the burning pain sensations it causes?

When you see me, do you know that I struggle to breathe when I walk any great distance?

When you see me, do you realize that I struggle to hold my emotions together at times? These are moments I am praying asking God to help me hold it all together.

When I comment that I am exhausted-even though I haven’t done anything to get that way-do you think I am exaggerating? In these moments, I am usually so exhausted and fatigued that the feeling of nausea sweeps over me and laying down becomes paramount to my well-being.

 

I do my best daily to put on my happy face; some days I struggle just to be pleasant. Days when I am not so pleasant and grumpy, please realize, it probably has nothing to do with you, but the pain I am in and I am tired of always being in pain. But I will continue to push through it because I was taught giving up or giving in is not an option.

 

When my attitude is out of whack, gently remind me to get back to a nicer me. We all have days that we struggle. Some struggles are physical, some may be mental and some may be ones we have no idea why we feel the way we do. Love me just the same as when I am not struggling.

 

Between the pain that is associated with fibromyalgia, the degenerative disc disease in my spine, the osteoarthritis in my hips and knees, carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands and the chronic meniscal injury to my left leg, some days I feel like I am just going to collapse. Jesus holds me up. He carries me in the palm of his hands. And now on top of all these lovely issues, if this constant aching is not enough, now my lungs are giving me problems.

 

I smoked menthol cigarettes for over 30 years. I breathed in silica dust and plaster dust for 12 years. I knew the risks associated with the cigarette smoking, but I was addicted to the Nicotine. So much so, that even though I knew and understood the risks of continuing to do so could ultimately harm me, I still did it. I saw my grandmother succumb to lung cancer and my best friend die of COPD and watched my father struggle to breathe as well.

 

I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea is 2007. I have always relied on a CPAP [Continuous Positive Airway Pressure]

to keep my airway open at night-time and allow me to sleep.and get rest. For many years, the CPAP alone was enough. Not anymore. It has come to my attention as well as one of my physicians, that the CPAP alone is not enough. I experience low levels of oxygen while sleeping. A normal oxygen level is anything above 90% and during my sleep times with my CPAP machine, I am showing oxygen levels of 60%. According to my doctors, anything under 90% oxygen level is dangerous to me and requires interventions. In reading some information I have found out that continued drops in oxygen levels will cause damage to cognitive function, short-term memory, stroke and heart attack during sleep and many other problems if not treated. I will be doing an overnight testing within the next week to determine if oxygen therapy will be required along with the CPAP usage.

 

And last but not least, I have been diagnosed with COPD[chronic obstructive pulmonary disease]. I have had asthma since childhood and suffer with Chronic Bronchitis and breathing problems.

 

I normally don’t share this with everyone. But it is my belief that the people in my life that God has blessed me with, which are friends that I call family, need to know what is happening with me.

I take it in stride. I know God has a plan for me and I also know that He helps me every single minute that I breathe. I am not sure what that plan is-I know he will tell me more when he is ready for me to hear it.

 

I am thankful. I can still walk. I might be as slow as a tortoise, but I am not in a wheelchair, without use of my legs. I may be able to feel every tender pain point on my body, but that’s okay because that means I am not paralyzed.

 

I may have to wear prescription glasses, because without them I struggle to see, but I am still thankful,because I am not blind.

 

Many mornings, I feel like I have a pharmacy in my medicine bag, 13 pills to take and two inhaler devices along with one to two breathing treatments a day. I am still thankful that there are companies that make these meds to help me function and live a fairly normal life.

 

Muscles spasms and incessant itching are the biggest pains in the neck because they just happen and you just have to get through them the best you can. Headaches, tummy troubles, dry skin, fatigue that always is and never seems to leave your body, Emotions that are up and down like a rollercoaster, but you learn to hold those in and only let those tears out with people who love you and understand why. When you have to explain why the tears, sometimes you are just too tired to even do that.

 

Edema and poor circulation issues. Weeping from your legs because the skin just won’t stretch anymore. My legs cry on a regular basis. My legs (calves/ankles) swell all the time. The only thing that stops the swelling and edema is to keep them elevated 24 hours a day-not likely considering I have a two-year old to care for, plus taking care of the home and myself.

 

Even in all of this grief I experience as I see my body and organs deteriorate from time to time, I am thankful because I know that each day that I awaken means God isn’t ready for me yet. He still has work for me to do here.

 

So when you see me, and you roll your eyes because yet again I am in pain and don’t feel good-understand this. I am not saying this to gain sympathy or do I want you to feel sorry for me, I just want you to understand that I have a lot of days when getting out of bed and getting dressed is a victory. Days when I not only get up, but take care of a 29 month old child who has endless energy, do housework and laundry and possibly cook dinner, those are wins for me too.

I miss being able to be outdoors. Taking hikes and nature walks spontaneously. It seems everything must be planned these days..Do I have my walker/cane? Do I have medication for my breathing and what happens if I need to go to the bathroom?

 

I would love to go to the park and play on the playground, run and jump-but my body won’t allow it right now. So I stay in most days and have found alternate way to spend with my grandchildren ( all four of them). I can’t run and chase them and play like that, but we draw and color and make and bake cookies and goodies. We play games and read stories and just spend time loving each other.

 

I know there are so many people in this world that face far greater trials than I have .

 

I am blessed by a God that loves me unconditionally, a family that does the same. Friends that treat me so special and make me feel very loved, A roof over my head, food in the fridge and clothes on my back. And a vehicle to get me where I need to go.

 

I am blessed and loved. I am alive. I am breathing and I am hoping that one day a cure will be found for Fibromyalgia. Until then, I will continue to do my best to educate others on what it is like to live with this disease. I have only shared the highlights. It’s too depressing to continue to dwell on it.

 

My mother always says, “You can’t always judge a book by its cover.”

And she’s right. I hope that when people “read” me, they see someone who loves Jesus and can’t’ imagine her life without him in it..

 

Jesus loves you! Blessings to each of you that read this!

~Carlene

Exhaustion

As I sit her listening to Tenth Avenue North singing Worn,  I know God is still on the throne and is still in control and in charge.

This has been a long week for me and it’s only Tuesday! Today was a reminder how precious life is and how we should live every day as if it is our last. We said goodbye to our cousin. He was one of the most loving souls I knew. He always had a kind word for everyone he met; he saw the good where other’s were more judgmental and he was a good man. Always doing the right thing. Honest and loving. He will be missed. I hadn’t seen him in many years. Life gets busy and we think we have all the time in the world and in a heartbeat we lose that moment.

I had kept in touch with him through social media, a comment here and there or a short instant message, which I am thankful for, but it’s hard to believe he is no longer with us.All of us know he has gone home to the Lord. His service was beautiful and we saw family we hadn’t seen in years.

Comments were made from all there, how sad it is that there are no more reunions or get together’s …we all wish for days gone by, when we would sit down together to take in a meal and fellowship with one another, but now we are all scattered and our schedules are too full.  When did family time become a thing of the past? Was I sleeping through all of it?

The hardest thing to accept is he hadn’t been sick, was healthy and happy and it was just his time.  Living in a family of Christians, made it easier to accept his passing, knowing we would reunite when it was our time. Regardless of whether a loved one has been ill and death is imminent or it is a total shock, the grieving is the same. It’s hard to let go. But God gives you the strength to carry on. He comforts us when we are totally exhausted because times like these are so painful to your heart and spirit.

And if having a funeral isn’t enough to have to deal with, we are dealing with our youngest grandson that isn’t speaking like he should by all earmarks of language development. Testing today and more testing tomorrow.  Long days with no clear answer in sight.

A family member struggling with Alzheimer’s and all of us struggling with a way to make things routine and “constant” for him. Praying God gives us wisdom to know what to do and what to say.

Then there’s this lovely Fibromyalgia thing. Running (not literally) all over the place, a lot of walking, runs you down to where you feel you can’t take one more step. The pain increases and if you’re not careful a flareup sets in. Flareups don’t last for a few hours, usually more like a few days, sometimes a week. Then everything else goes to the wayside. Laundry and dishes pile up, getting out of bed and maybe dressed, takes all the energy you have. You feel like you’re not even human.  OR 1/2 human. Things like doing laundry and folding clothes that came so easy before, now take twice to three times as long to get done, because you have to sit down and just rest.  When you are in a flare, what might normally take 30 minutes to do, now takes hours and you still don’t feel like you accomplish anything.

I am thankful for friends and family that love me no matter how worn out I am. Sleeping for several days is just a dream. The fatigue associated with Fibromyalgia is like being awake for 3 or four days straight, with no rest.  This fatigue makes me feel nauseated and an overall feeling of “blah”. Depression sets in because the pain, the fatigue, feeling like you can’t make plans or making plans and then you have to cancel because you just can’t function like normal.

Never take a single moment for granted, because none of us are promised a tomorrow. Live each minute to the fullest. Love extravagantly, tell people you love them, don’t wait until it’s too late to live your life. I have learned that housework can wait. Family can’t.

To my cousin Tim, you will be missed. You left a lasting legacy and may you rest in the arms of the Savior.Tim H

Blessings to all. Remember Jesus Loves You,

Carlene

 

 

 

 

My Trusted Companion

Offset Handle Aluminum CanesMy cane is my trusted companion, it goes with me everywhere. Days when I forget it, are torturous.  I can walk without it, but I have trouble with my balance and sometimes I wobble.  I’ve been lucky enough lately (where’s that wood to knock on?) to not fall.  I tell myself,” weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.” (You will only understand that statement if you grew up in the era I did with the toys we had.)

The most frustrating part for me is although my cane has been of great comfort and help to me, sometime’s it is not enough. She gets me up the steps when I can’t do it on my own, but walking long distances, unless there is seating available, is pretty much out of the question.  My heart feels like it will explode out of my chest and my breathing becomes labored.

rollator

After much deliberation and praying and asking God for guidance, I ordered a Rollator Walker, with a padded seat, today.  It should be here by next Wednesday.  I am so excited! I have always loved taking walks and being outside, but had pretty much given up on that with the issues I have.  Now, Obviously, I cannot go hiking in the woods as in the past, but just being able to go outside and walk in our lovely neighborhood will be an adventure!

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you know that sometimes you have to ask for assistance or find something such as these and use for assistance because you need it, but just don’t want to ask? It could be using an assistive medical device or maybe you are struggling in another area of your life and need prayer.

I have found in my own life, that even when I know I need something to help me, asking for help is not always easy.  I love helping others, but helping myself usually falls last on the list.  I put everyone else’s needs above mine. Why do we do that to ourselves?

As a wife, mother, grandmother I always put my husband, my children and grandchildren’s needs above me. If I need to wait, so be it. That is how I have always been until walking became such an issue.

For me part of the problem was, I am still fairly young (51) and using a walking device to get around, what would other’s think? Is she just too lazy? If she would lose weight she wouldn’t need that? All kinds of thoughts rolled through my crazy brain, and then I remembered two important facts.

  1. I have a medical disorder that requires assistance.
  2. God will not view me any less worthy because I need to use this and His opinion is the only one that truly matters.

It is very easy to get caught up in what people think or perceive. All of us want acceptance in the world.  We don’t want to be stared at or gawked at.  Maybe, my perceptions are skewed to a degree because I have seen how cruel the world can be toward people that have visible and invisible illnesses. Often times, pride gets in the way too.

1 John 2:16-17 The Message (MSG)

15-17 Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

So, I guess what I am trying to say and not very well, is this: when you need help ask for it; don’t let your pride get in the way and when other’s offer help, accept it. God wants us to build relationships with one another, while also having relationship with him. Community is important.  Community with one another helps us to encourage each other when needed and love each other.  Thank God for the people he has placed in your life to be your comforter.

May all of you be blessed and know how much Jesus loves you!

Until next time-much love,

Carlene