Archives

Journey of Joy

Dreams1

Six weeks ago, I started an amazing journey back to finding joy in my everyday life, in living to the fullest and healing my body from the inside out. I am happy to exclaim that I no longer suffer from chronic pain* due to my myriad of health conditions. I have learned through many wonderful people gut health is truly the key to living and loving life, feeling the best I can ever remember, even before the fibromyalgia diagnosis.

As I hydrate myself with my daily water intake, exercise, and eat right along with taking my Nutritional supplements that are vegetarian, plant-based, no GMO and gluten-free, the bacteria and harmful toxins that have been consumed are being flushed out and replaced with good micro flora that my body needs to be clean and healthy.

My own personal pain levels have disappeared. I am forever grateful to God for connecting me with others that want the best optimum health they can have. Fatigue is a thing of the past unless I choose to stay up super late and don’t get the required amount of sleep I need.  What truly gave me peace in my heart to try these products* were the fact that they were !00% plant-based. Plants come from God. These products have not been genetically modified in any way. Truly a Natural product.

My energy levels are increasing each day and I still sit in awe, that six weeks ago, I was in such a deep depression* and felt like giving up, I could barely move without pain* accompanying me everywhere I went. My focus* and concentration* were so out of whack that I had trouble keeping track of my notes for everything in my life.

I have found a great company that cares about the people who use their products and only wants to see optimal health achieved. I had believed, due to the skepticism I had, that finding joy on this journey would be a long drawn out process. I was mistaken. I am so thankful I was wrong. Plexus Worldwide has literally transformed me and my outlook on life. I still have a long way to go to meet my personal health goals, but I know now they are within reach, instead of a distant dream.

Every choice each one of us makes on our own journey determines the destination we arrive at.  Right now Joy is my destination and I look forward to the endless possibilities in front of me. Plexus Worldwide also offers Opportunities++ to help them share their products, earn compensation in 11 different ways and achieve optimal health! As I joyfully pursue these opportunities, I am here if you have any questions.

As always, trust in the Lord. Seek Him and His wisdom. Remember Jesus Loves You!

Blessings to all~Carlene

 

++Plexus makes no guarantees or projections of income, as such representations may be misleading.Your success depends on your effort, commitment. skill and leadership abilities, and how efficiently you exercise these qualities. Please see Plexus Annual Income Disclosure Statement.
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

 

I Never Thought It was Possible

For the past 7 1/2 years, I have struggled to live with unending pain, chronic pain that never went away. It was always right there in the midst of my life. I worked full time, in pain. From the moment I woke up until I dozed off at night, it had become part of who I was. I never went anywhere that pain did not accompany me. And the fatigue that came along with the many sleepless nights and bouts of insomnia was something I couldn’t begin to explain to others if they didn’t suffer from it themselves. It wasn’t being tired and taking a nap would fix. It was the type of fatigue that made me sick to my stomach, brought on migraines, depression, and hopelessness.

nopain

Many of you that read this blog know how real the struggle has been for me. And if you know me at all, you know I rely heavily on Jesus Christ, my Savior to get me through everything.  He led me to a group of amazing women that have helped me to change my life, and heal my body from the inside out.

I have read in the past how important it is to have a healthy gut, but I have never been much of a “health nut” and couldn’t understand how important it is to have good gut flora and bacteria in my system versus the bad that has been hanging out there for a while now.  So, when my friend asked me if I wanted to try some supplements that she knew had worked for people living with chronic pain and fibromyalgia, I can honestly say I was pretty skeptical. I thought how can herbal supplements help me feel better? You would think the medical community would want you to know about these if they really worked. I decided I didn’t have anything to lose. So I agreed to try these “miracle” capsules. What was one more “pill”? I already take 12 different prescription medications to keep me functioning, why not!

On June 12th, I started taking these supplements, thinking nothing would happen, but willing to give it a shot. Now 3 1/2 weeks in, I wish I had known about them before now.

I am on a regimen of supplements that help to curb cravings, cleanse and detox my system, help to promote the growth of good gut microflora, and supports healthy glucose metabolism. Among those, I am also taking Omega 3’s that have no fishy smell or aftertaste, a multivitamin for the wellness of the entire body and two products that help with exertion, fatigue and keeping your nervous system healthy.  As a result, I no longer have any fibromyalgia pain. NONE. NO PAIN. No fatigue either, as my sleep hours have gone from maybe 2 hours a night to 6-7 hours per night. And if that isn’t enough, I am also losing weight!!!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

I can’t look back at to “I wish I had known sooner”, but I can look forward to what exciting things are to come. Even my arthritic pain in my knees and hips is improving! So I would definitely be willing to say these are miracles in a bottle! The most amazing thing to me and something that really sold me on trying these products is they are plant based, no GMO, gluten free and with the packet of drink mix, I use once a day, it has a sweet taste that is refreshing and yummy, sweetened with the Stevia plant. There are no chemicals in these supplements.

I still sit here and shake my head in amazement, that after only taking for 3 1/2 weeks I feel so good!!! Being healthy has never been so much fun!  For the first time in my life, since the Fibromyalgia diagnosis, 7 years ago, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope.

I believe so much in this product line, that I have become an Ambassador for the company! They have many more products that I have not even tried, but have heard amazing results from friends. If you are looking for an alternative to prescription drugs, and looking for a way to be your very best and live a healthy life, I would love to speak with you and see how I can help.

God led me to these women and in turn, they have loved me and encouraged me every single day/. God is in all the details. I am so blessed and I would love to be a blessing to you.

It should really be no surprise to me as God created all living things, plants included, that these supplements are good for me and my body.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all!

In Just One Week

I have been using Plexus Supplements for one week now, and while I have not noticed any significant weight loss, I have noticed a significant difference in my pain levels. Before using the supplements, my pain levels were 10+ and now I can confidently say they are around a 7. That is huge for me. As a sufferer of Fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions, pain is a part of my life every day.

I am taking the following supplements: Plexus Slim – 1 single serve packet mixed with 20 ounces of water 30 minutes before my evening meal, Ease caplets twice daily to help with exertion and fatigue, Nerve caplets twice daily to help support healthy nerve cells and the nervous system, Mega X twice daily plant based Omega 3’s without the fishy smell and XFactor, a multivitamin and antioxidant which helps promote a healthy immune system.

SALAD

I am starting to sleep better, drinking more water instead of caffeinated drinks, although I have not given up my coffee yet and making better food choices along the way. I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical that any supplement could make such a difference, but I am sold. The more I am able to get up and move, along with healing my body from the inside out, the better I feel.

After being in miserable pain for 7 years, I am excited to see how well I will feel after taking the supplements for 90 days!

If you wish to learn more about Plexus and the Supplements that are changing the way I think and feel, feel free to contact me through Plexus.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all!

Free Me From This Prison

Every single second of every day I pray for a reprieve from this insidious pain I live with, called my body.

Fibromyalgia Prison

Today is a very high level pain day for me and normally I wouldn’t even feel like sitting at the computer, but sitting here is the only place I have felt any comfort today. Comforted knowing that I am not the only one in the world crying out to Jesus and asking for the pain to lessen or better yet, stop.

Living with chronic illness never gets any better, but there are days that are bearable.

Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve this pain. Before I had FM, I thought there is no way someone could be in as much pain as I had heard, but I received a strong lesson in assuming once it wracked my body.

Getting a reprieve from the pain and fatique, if only for a day would be so great. The problem with feeling good on low level pain days is I tend to go for the gusto and overdue it, but I don’t realize I overdid it until it is way too late to stop. Several weeks ago, I was able to go grocery shopping and make it through the entire store and not have to sit down. I was able to go for over an hour that day and then, even though my energy levels were draining, I came home and did housework. That was over 3 weeks ago.

Today, I got dressed and went one place and was only there for a total of 5 minutes, came home and feel like I have ran a marathon.  There is no rhyme or reason to this disorder. Fibromyalgia has its own set of symptoms, as many as 250, it’s different for everyone. Right now the vice like gripping pain in my rib cage and the tingling, burning sensations in my legs is just about enough to send me over the edge.

I don’t have the luxury of laying down right now and I am so close to just giving up, it’s not even funny. I am an optimistic person and for me to feel this bad, and express it to anyone, especially where hundreds of people may read it, tells me I have let my pain levels get too high.  It is entirely my fault. If I would learn that the dishes can wait, the laundry piled up can wait, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Normally my glass is half full, but today it is empty. I do not like this disorder and I do not like feeling this way.  I am so very tired of my body and all it’s nerves and muscles punishing me daily because I choose to live, as best I can, instead of allowing this illness to confine me to a bed. So, yes, a reprieve would be nice every now and then.

 

Psalm 18:1New Living Translation (NLT)

1 I love you, Lord;
you are my strength.

You, Lord, are my strength. You carry me all the days of my life. I cry out to You, Jesus. Help me to endure this torment that is within me.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You!

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

Blessings to all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Reprieve

Fibromyalgia~Not for the Faint of Heart

FibroWarrior

Living with fibromyalgia isn’t for the faint of heart. You learn to live with a high pain tolerance, otherwise, you would never get out of bed. The television commercials, saying fibromyalgia is a disorder with widespread pain doesn’t even begin to describe the pain and makes it seem that there is no way you can all over body pain at once, but you do.

Just being bumped into, can send shockwaves through your nervous system and can start a chain of events. Most times I have to still myself and breathe deeply to get past it. Today is a moderate pain day, but my energy levels are almost non-existent. I did manage to get dressed and eat some breakfast/lunch.

I made the mistake of thinking I could accomplish what needed to be done over the weekend and doing it on the same day instead of breaking it down into two or three days. I miss having a clean home. So, I set to task to cleaning and putting away toys that a three-year-old think it is okay to string through the house. Then came folding a week’s worth of laundry for a family of four, because it was getting harder and harder to find clothing items, without digging through 4 baskets of laundry. I played with said three years old, and him climbing on me and jumping up and down, big hugs and squeezes. He is full of energy and I fake it a lot.

Dishes had piled up in the kitchen, recyclables sat everywhere that need rinsed out, and placed in the bin. The floor needed cleaning. Two hours later the kitchen was cleaned. You can’t tell it now, it looks like I haven’t touched it.

What normally would have taken two to three hours max to clean, took almost 8. The constant need to sit down and take a break is ever present. Standing for more than 10 minutes at a time causes burning and searing pain in my lower back causes excruciating pain in my hips and legs. My legs and feet swell if I am up on them for any length of time and my skin stretches so tight my leg weeps. Even my legs “cry” because of the pain. Today, I have been sitting trying to rest and store up any small amount of energy so I can go to my women’s group at church tonight. If I do anything, I won’t have enough to drive up there and walk in. Dusting hasn’t even happened yet this week. I see it needs to be done, but that requires more energy than I have.

I have incessant itching on my arms and back, daily. Although I use prescribed lotions to help, it doesn’t take away the itching. Raw spots appear, followed by scabs. My arms look like a war zone, so when I go out I wear long sleeve shirts even if it is warm out, fewer questions and embarrassment to deal with.

Sleep patterns are no longer restful sleep. When I was working full time, I would be severely depleted when I came home and by the time dinner and bath time was over, sleep was not a problem. Now insomnia attacks daily. As a person that also suffers from severe sleep apnea, not only do I use a CPAP machine at night to help keep my airway open, in the attempts to achieve REM sleep, the restorative sleep our bodies need, I also must use supplemental oxygen, because without it ,my oxygen levels in my blood drop to dangerously low levels. My oxygen levels drop to 60%. It should be at 92% or higher. It is so frustrating. I can feel exhausted and just want to go to bed and then once I am there, I can’t sleep. I have learned sleeping without my CPAP causes a whole host of other problems. Headaches, body cramps, confusion, extreme fatigue. It’s like sleeping without any oxygen coursing through your veins. Almost a lifeless state. And days after that occurs, you literally drag yourself to just function. Doing anything that requires attention to detail, can cause you to nod off. It is not a way to live.

When I first wake up in the morning, I have a hard time focusing, even with my eyeglasses on. My eyes feel like there is a haze glued to them and it takes almost 30-40 minutes before objects are clear enough to see.

Sitting in any one position for too long causes pain in my hips and knees and since their is also arthritis in my back, hips, and knees, it is a constant battle to just sit, move, lie down. I know from living with all of these chronic ailments that I have to keep moving and have to push myself, otherwise, I will be in such horrific pain, I won’t want to do anything. But, I have to be careful not to overdo it or I will be down for the count. The fatigue is always there. It’s not just being tired from working too hard or not enough sleep, it is fatigue you can feel in your bones. It’s the type of fatigue that if you don’t lay down and rest for at least several hours, you will be physically sick.
You never know when it’s going to hit you and you pray you are at home when it does. It’s like being on a long road trip and you’re stiff and sore and if you don’t get out of the vehicle soon, you might just crash.

Fibromyalgia causes so many other symptoms, you never know what your day will bring until you are in the midst of it. For some people, heat makes it worse. For me, the cold is worse, because of arthritis. Although, I do tire more easily in humid weather.

To look at me, I may look tired and maybe even close friends see I am in pain, but I don’t look like I’m sick. I am thankful I don’t look like how I feel because it would be a scary sight. Between irritable bowel symptoms and constipation, there is always a fear of what will happen at any given time. It is no way to live. When you have FM, you are aware of everything but have no way of controlling it. Many people I know that have FM, use narcotic painkillers to help with the pain. I am not one of those people. Due to my oxygen levels and breathing problems, I can’t take those. So I use OTC pain meds to help take the edge off as well as Anti-Depressant meds to control some of the pain and the depression that comes with it.

I hesitate to make any concrete plans with family and friends, because once it’s time to go away, sometimes I just can’t do it. Or I do go and pay for it after the fact. This usually throws me into what’s called a fibro flare. When I’m in a flare up the pain is magnified 500 times. I don’t want anyone touching me and I don’t even want to breathe. Obviously breathing is important.
I wouldn’t “wish” this disorder on anyone. Living with chronic pain is one of the hardest things I have done so far.

I used to love to craft and plant flower beds and spend time outdoors, but now planting my flowers is out of the question. I don’t have the stability to kneel down on my knees or I fall over. I don’t have the muscle tone to stay upright. The degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine makes it nearly impossible to get up and down without help. IF I sit on a hard surface, it is easier to get up and down, but that too causes pain; if I sit in a recliner or on the sofa, I can’t get up without assistance. I prefer not to lay in bed all day, although there are days that is exactly what I have to do.

The one thing that gets me through all my pain and afflictions is Jesus Christ. I know He is with me always. I cry out to Him in prayer and let His peace wash all over me. The pain doesn’t end, but I know that no matter what pain I am enduring, Jesus understands and can comfort me.

Some days I cry and grieve of all the things I have lost that I cannot do anymore because of my disabilities, but I cherish the friendships I have gained because they have become a support system to me because these special friends suffer just like I do. We vent to one another; we laugh and cry together.

Invisible chronic illness is hard to live with because many people do not understand. Those of us with this disorder don’t like canceling plans and we don’t like complaining. We live in silence for the most part, because we too get tired of hearing it.

If you know or love someone with chronic pain and illness, be kind. If you haven’t lived the battle within, ask questions, but be prepared you may not like what you hear or you may want to help, but the best thing, sometimes, is just to listen. Let them know you care. It’s hard.
May 12th is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Learn what you can, because my guess is you know at least one person that suffers from this. It might even be you.

Blessings to all!

Hazy Days

Lately, I have had to stop in mid-sentence to try and recall what I was about to say or continually ask the same question, knowing I was given the answer multiple times, but I just can’t recall what it was. I do not like repeating myself and I don’t like asking others to repeat themselves. When this happens, I am tripping over myself apologizing and having to explain that sometimes the “brain fog” of Fibromyalgia is real and not an excuse for not listening.

Hazy Fog

It’s like leaving the room you’re in, to go get something from another room, but you feel like the rooms have moved and you have no idea how to get there from where you are. You think you must be losing your mind because you can’t keep track of simple details. It’s maddening, for me.  Sometimes the “fog” is like a haze. I stumble through my day, writing myself notes and writing everything down because I don’t want to ask again, and then misplacing the notes, only to find out they are right where I put them.

And going to the grocery when the “fibro fog” has settled in for a spell is a whole new thing. I must write everything down I need. If I do not put pencil to paper and notate it, even if it’s only two items, I will not be able to recall it.  I used to be able to remember the smallest of details. My mind was sharp. It’s frustrating because you never know when it will happen.

I play word games with friends and read to keep my mind active. I am working on teaching our grandson letters and numbers that he will need for preschool.  I think the most frustrating part of this “fog” is when I forget something that is really important. There are no do-overs. Apologies can be given, but how many times will that happen before people will stop relying on me?

I have always been able to stay on task and now I start something and don’t finish it because I forget what I started and move onto something else. Then I realize a few days later, I need to finish what I started. As I said, for me it’s maddening. The only solution I have found that truly helps is prayer. When I pray to Jesus and ask for His Peace to help me remain focused, I can sit with Him and just let His Peace wash over me.

Philippians 4:6-7New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Before I retired, I could work with vendors, keep track of all the details of a delivery, write up reports and take care of details, like a boss. Now, all the details seem to blur together and I have to sift through them to figure out what is important and what is not.

( “I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”)

 

kindle unlimited image

Join Amazon Kindle Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial

I often wonder if this is how people that suffer from dementia feel. If this is the same type of feelings they go through when they are searching for the right words to communicate their needs.  It is scary to think that a disorder such as Fibromyalgia could affect my brain in this way. Fibromyalgia is full of surprises. It’s kind of like the line from the Forrest Gump Movie,  My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”[1]See Footnote.

Lifting the Fog of Understanding

Fibromyalgia is a lot like that. You never know what you will get. I can guarantee from my point of view, though, it will not be sweet or delicious, as that chocolate might be. This fog that I live with does lift from time to time and I am very thankful for that.  I can’t imagine being in a haze all the time. It’s like trying to look through the thickest pair of eyeglasses there are (remember the term “coke bottle glasses”), and they are all smeared because you tried to clean them with a tissue that had lotion in it. No matter how much you try to rub the smears away, it just makes matters worse. That’s what the fog is like for me.

As with any symptom I face, I seek out the Lord and rely on his Word to pull me through when the days are tough to manage. When I want to give up and throw in the towel, I remember how much Jesus loves me. I remember that he has a plan for my life and I keep pressing on, knowing that the trials and afflictions I am facing now, prepare me to comfort those and encourage others that are in this silent battle. I am a warrior. I battle daily to live a normal life. I joke with others about old age and memory loss, as a way to cope.

Free-Audible-Audiobooks

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks

If you find that you, too, suffer from this thick, dense “brain fog” due to Fibromyalgia or another illness, know that you are not alone. As a warrior with a chronic, life-long illness, it is easy to have feelings of hopelessness. Remember Jesus is our Hope. Cling to Him. He will bring you through every trial you face. #HopeAlways#HaveFaith

John 14:27New Living Translation (NLT)

27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Lord Jesus, help all of us that suffer from “brain fog” to remain clear and concise, to discern what is of you Lord and what is not. I ask that you pour out your Peace upon us, the only true Peace there is and help us to stay calm through the storms. In Your Mighty Name, Jesus. Amen.

May you know how much Jesus loves you and may your cup overflow with blessings!

[1]Forrest Gump Movie Quote

What Do You See?

bucket-trip-to-the-mountains-082

When you see me, can you see the pain I am experiencing with every step? Or do you see the fake smile and laughter I display so you don’t know how bad I hurt?

When you see me, can you see the numbness and tingling in my lower spinal area and the burning pain sensations it causes?

When you see me, do you know that I struggle to breathe when I walk any great distance?

When you see me, do you realize that I struggle to hold my emotions together at times? These are moments I am praying asking God to help me hold it all together.

When I comment that I am exhausted-even though I haven’t done anything to get that way-do you think I am exaggerating? In these moments, I am usually so exhausted and fatigued that the feeling of nausea sweeps over me and laying down becomes paramount to my well-being.

 

I do my best daily to put on my happy face; some days I struggle just to be pleasant. Days when I am not so pleasant and grumpy, please realize, it probably has nothing to do with you, but the pain I am in and I am tired of always being in pain. But I will continue to push through it because I was taught giving up or giving in is not an option.

 

When my attitude is out of whack, gently remind me to get back to a nicer me. We all have days that we struggle. Some struggles are physical, some may be mental and some may be ones we have no idea why we feel the way we do. Love me just the same as when I am not struggling.

 

Between the pain that is associated with fibromyalgia, the degenerative disc disease in my spine, the osteoarthritis in my hips and knees, carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands and the chronic meniscal injury to my left leg, some days I feel like I am just going to collapse. Jesus holds me up. He carries me in the palm of his hands. And now on top of all these lovely issues, if this constant aching is not enough, now my lungs are giving me problems.

 

I smoked menthol cigarettes for over 30 years. I breathed in silica dust and plaster dust for 12 years. I knew the risks associated with the cigarette smoking, but I was addicted to the Nicotine. So much so, that even though I knew and understood the risks of continuing to do so could ultimately harm me, I still did it. I saw my grandmother succumb to lung cancer and my best friend die of COPD and watched my father struggle to breathe as well.

 

I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea is 2007. I have always relied on a CPAP [Continuous Positive Airway Pressure]

to keep my airway open at night-time and allow me to sleep.and get rest. For many years, the CPAP alone was enough. Not anymore. It has come to my attention as well as one of my physicians, that the CPAP alone is not enough. I experience low levels of oxygen while sleeping. A normal oxygen level is anything above 90% and during my sleep times with my CPAP machine, I am showing oxygen levels of 60%. According to my doctors, anything under 90% oxygen level is dangerous to me and requires interventions. In reading some information I have found out that continued drops in oxygen levels will cause damage to cognitive function, short-term memory, stroke and heart attack during sleep and many other problems if not treated. I will be doing an overnight testing within the next week to determine if oxygen therapy will be required along with the CPAP usage.

 

And last but not least, I have been diagnosed with COPD[chronic obstructive pulmonary disease]. I have had asthma since childhood and suffer with Chronic Bronchitis and breathing problems.

 

I normally don’t share this with everyone. But it is my belief that the people in my life that God has blessed me with, which are friends that I call family, need to know what is happening with me.

I take it in stride. I know God has a plan for me and I also know that He helps me every single minute that I breathe. I am not sure what that plan is-I know he will tell me more when he is ready for me to hear it.

 

I am thankful. I can still walk. I might be as slow as a tortoise, but I am not in a wheelchair, without use of my legs. I may be able to feel every tender pain point on my body, but that’s okay because that means I am not paralyzed.

 

I may have to wear prescription glasses, because without them I struggle to see, but I am still thankful,because I am not blind.

 

Many mornings, I feel like I have a pharmacy in my medicine bag, 13 pills to take and two inhaler devices along with one to two breathing treatments a day. I am still thankful that there are companies that make these meds to help me function and live a fairly normal life.

 

Muscles spasms and incessant itching are the biggest pains in the neck because they just happen and you just have to get through them the best you can. Headaches, tummy troubles, dry skin, fatigue that always is and never seems to leave your body, Emotions that are up and down like a rollercoaster, but you learn to hold those in and only let those tears out with people who love you and understand why. When you have to explain why the tears, sometimes you are just too tired to even do that.

 

Edema and poor circulation issues. Weeping from your legs because the skin just won’t stretch anymore. My legs cry on a regular basis. My legs (calves/ankles) swell all the time. The only thing that stops the swelling and edema is to keep them elevated 24 hours a day-not likely considering I have a two-year old to care for, plus taking care of the home and myself.

 

Even in all of this grief I experience as I see my body and organs deteriorate from time to time, I am thankful because I know that each day that I awaken means God isn’t ready for me yet. He still has work for me to do here.

 

So when you see me, and you roll your eyes because yet again I am in pain and don’t feel good-understand this. I am not saying this to gain sympathy or do I want you to feel sorry for me, I just want you to understand that I have a lot of days when getting out of bed and getting dressed is a victory. Days when I not only get up, but take care of a 29 month old child who has endless energy, do housework and laundry and possibly cook dinner, those are wins for me too.

I miss being able to be outdoors. Taking hikes and nature walks spontaneously. It seems everything must be planned these days..Do I have my walker/cane? Do I have medication for my breathing and what happens if I need to go to the bathroom?

 

I would love to go to the park and play on the playground, run and jump-but my body won’t allow it right now. So I stay in most days and have found alternate way to spend with my grandchildren ( all four of them). I can’t run and chase them and play like that, but we draw and color and make and bake cookies and goodies. We play games and read stories and just spend time loving each other.

 

I know there are so many people in this world that face far greater trials than I have .

 

I am blessed by a God that loves me unconditionally, a family that does the same. Friends that treat me so special and make me feel very loved, A roof over my head, food in the fridge and clothes on my back. And a vehicle to get me where I need to go.

 

I am blessed and loved. I am alive. I am breathing and I am hoping that one day a cure will be found for Fibromyalgia. Until then, I will continue to do my best to educate others on what it is like to live with this disease. I have only shared the highlights. It’s too depressing to continue to dwell on it.

 

My mother always says, “You can’t always judge a book by its cover.”

And she’s right. I hope that when people “read” me, they see someone who loves Jesus and can’t’ imagine her life without him in it..

 

Jesus loves you! Blessings to each of you that read this!

~Carlene