Category: Grace

Broken Pieces

I’m trying hard to comprehend the need for Tyson to break and destroy objects that he comes in contact with. Is it because it’s the natural course in the life of a toddler? The curiosity of how things are made and assembled? Or simply the pure joy of seeing toys, priceless mementos of a lifetime ago break apart, or does his need for sensory input figure into the equation? love-1221444_640

I learned long ago as a younger parent to not ask the Lord for patience; inevitably that required walking out many trials involving the art of patience, only developed as you learn to maneuver the pitfalls and blessings of parenthood. In my 30’s, it seems I was more apt and skilled to tune out the chaos. As I’ve grown older and presumably wiser, my hope was I would be much more mellow than I am.

cropped-logomakr1.png

Some things require ongoing instruction; He’s teaching me to live in the Peace only He can give. To seek wisdom and discernment in areas that although familiar to when our children were young; they never seemed to have this much high-strung energy that never stops!

And in the same instant that something has been quashed, there’s this ray of sunshine that gleams thru and says, “I wuv you.” And sees my sad frown turned upside down, leaps in my lap and hugs me tight.

I talk to him about the broken objects and try and explain why we don’t break things. Some days, he says,”sorry” other days there is no comprehension that a mistake was made.

And I forgive.

I think of the many times in my life, I have done or said something that grieved Jesus, and yet, He loves every broken piece of me and forgives all.

He doesn’t hold our sins over us but lovingly rebukes and corrects us and allows us to live under His mercy and grace.

At the end of my walk here on earth, I want to know that thru all the brokenness and struggles, I learned to love and forgive like Jesus. To overlook offenses and show mercy. To not be the one pointing the finger, but the one saying, things are just things. People matter more.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27 NIV

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right where you are in this moment.

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

Advertisements

Answer the Call

Are you living into the purpose God has called you to do?  I think I am, but how can we really be sure?  I always assumed that “the call” would be something grandiose and bigger than life, but what if it isn’t? What if the call God places on your life is what you would consider everyday mundane tasks?  And what I am becoming to understand and believe is that everything I do should give God glory and Honor.

pexels-photo.jpg

When I was working full-time, I didn’t consider working for a retail giant big box store my call, but I did do my very best to let other’s see Jesus in my actions and words. Seasoning my conversations with salt and grace. Being humble in spirit; no gossip; caring for others more than myself.  Extending grace when that was the last thing I would have done had Jesus not been with me.

God places the desires in our hearts. We have to be willing to pursue those desires.  We have to be willing to be interrupted to take the steps necessary to follow His lead. In this day and age, people will say, ‘I’ll do it when I have more time or I will do it when I have more money to fund it, or five hundred other excuses as to why NOW is not the right time.” And I know for one, I let doubt creep in and say, “you’re not good enough or you don’t have experience in this area or what will people think??” And the reality should be, “who cares?”  If God calls us to do something, big or small, we should jump at the chance, because it’s HIS Will for our lives.  We all forget, myself included, it’s not about us. It’s ALL about Him.

So, while I may or may not be a bestselling author one day, I know that right now the call on my life is to be a voice/advocate for our grandson, Tyson. Advocating for awareness for Autism Spectrum Disorder, Epilepsy, Sensory Processing Disorder and Language Disorder. I know it is my call to lift others up and to encourage them in spoken and written word and action.  I know God is working with me now to teach me who HE is and who I am in Him. Maybe someday, that will turn into a book to share with others, but it is not in my comfort zone to admit that I don’t have it all together and I don’t know everything I need to know and that I still have very much to learn about life, but He gently nudges me and He leads me by the hand, much as my earthly parents used to.  Sometimes he gives me a swift kick to get up and get going, when I would much rather stay in the comfort of my own world.

The past 4 weeks, our series at church as been called Church Interrupted.  God is calling the church, you and me, to do His work.  In your office, at your schools, at the deli where you get your meat, everywhere we go, He is calling us to remember our purpose here on earth.  To advance the Kingdom of God.  To lead others to Jesus.  For those of us that have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, with a repentant heart, we are to seek forgiveness, show forgiveness and accept the gift of salvation to live eternally with the Father.  And the only way to the Father is through Jesus. The only way to Heaven, is through Jesus Christ. He paid the price, on the cross. He bled and died for All of us and All our sins. There is nothing else you can do to get into Heaven no matter how good of a person you are. But while you are here, you are to do the Will of the Father.

Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. When you pray, and can’t find the words, do not fret, because the Holy Spirit will provide the words needed as they waft up to the Father. Trust your instincts. Become in tune with Him. God lives and dwells in the hearts and souls of believers and therefore knows our desires. He knows what He wants to accomplish in our lives and there will be many times of refining and purifying, tests and trials, we will walk through. Storms that will cross our paths, but do not fear for He is always with us. God is bigger than any fear that tries to squelch those dreams and desires.

I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure.. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, “These are my people, and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.”- Zechariah 13:9

Trust that what God is calling you into or out of, that He will equip you with everything you need to accomplish the task. Do not be afraid. Do not grow weary. Do not give up. Let you Faith in the Lord guide you when your eyes cannot see the outcome. Be a blessing to others as the Lord blesses you.

May you know that Jesus Loves You~at all times and in all seasons of your life. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to each of you ~ thanks for stopping by!

Undefined Chaos

I miss my laptop. I know its just an electronic device, but as someone that loves to write, and share my thoughts, I’ve come to realize how dependent I had become on that somewhat portable device. Yes, I can use my cell phone, as I am now but its difficult when the hard drive on your computer has all your reference material, media and other information you’ve saved that you may need. My memory on my phone obviously cannot hold as much. In the grand scheme of life though, it is very trivial to many problems others face.

I can use my husband’s computer but only if Tyson is sleeping because there are too many “cool” things he can get into in that space. And let’s face it, if you parent or care for a child on the autism spectrum when they rest, you either rest too or you clean and do things that need done that you can’t accomplish while they are awake.

This week has been a challenge. The local school system has been on Spring Break and the thought of getting any kind of break has been just that – a thought.

Tyson and I have been passing a cold back and forth between each other and I am so ready for it to be gone. When feeling under the weather, cleaning really becomes a chore.

Its almost 2a.m. here and he is wide awake! He’s currently taking my Crayola markers and stacking them together and showing me how high he can stack them. And exclaiming, “really tall”. I’ve tried several times unsuccessfully to remove them and put them up but he will have no part of it. I use them to color with, he uses them to line up and stack. He doesn’t want to go to bed, but I sense he’s wearing down. He stops what he’s doing and comes over to me and wants my hair down out of the ponytail so he can play with my hair. We have speech therapy in less than 8 hours and he’s not even asleep yet! His sleep schedule is getting worse by the day. Something has to give. Its not good for either one of us to have little sleep but it really isn’t good for him because it can bring on a seizure if he’s overly tired.

He’s become more aggressive than he used to be. Headbutting and hitting in the face and holding him tight doesn’t work as well as it used to. I’m praying his Developmental Pediatrician will have some answers or solutions so he can get back on a better schedule than we’ve had this week. For both of us.

He can’t be put to bed in a separate room to sleep in because the minute you put him in the bed, he’s messing with everything, pulling clothes out of dressers attempting to unplug lamps.etc., climbing and jumping,  removing hot bulbs from lamps, opening lotion bottles dumping them..and the lists goes on. If you lay with him, you become the object he jumps on, climbs on, pulls your hair and again no sleep.

The music is playing in the background now, soothing in hopes he will start to unwind and want to sleep. The only light in the room is the glow from this tiny screen. He’s still full steam ahead.

I know I’m rambling and I apologize. He’s my 24 hour job. I love him. I wouldn’t even want to imagine my life without him, but he is ALWAYS busy. My house always looks like there have been a multitude of children here, while there has only been one. Dishes and laundry get done on a regular basis when my husband is home because Ty knows how to climb out of his five point harness chair. Or done in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep and I should be sleeping.

Every child is a gift from above. I know God never gives us more than we can bear because in those times where we feel all alone and helpless, those are the times He wants us to allow Him in. God wants us, all of us. He is our strength our joy and our peace. Jesus gets me through all the craziness and chaos. Even now. Even when my eyes are heavy and sleep is at hand and I have a 3 1/2 old crying out “no bedtime.”

I’m learning to embrace all these moments. To savor the mess and all that comes with it and to realize His grace is enough. In every moment.

May you know how much Jesus loves you. In every messy moment of this thing called life. Cry out to Him. He is always listening.

Blessings from me and Ty.c046dec741cdaaaeb6e5bb14f47afc91

 

 

 

 

Flawless to Fractured

broken-glass-2208593_1280

I’ve always been intrigued by the patterns shattered glass makes when it breaks. Some would say that it is imperfect or flawed, and not worth much or good for anything. Have you ever felt like that? Felt that you were too flawed, unworthy or no good?

That’s what the devil wants you to think. If fear and doubt creep in the corners of your mind, and you start listening to those doubts and dwell on them, it doesn’t take long for you to believe the lies of the enemy. And if you constantly dwell in the recesses of your mind, where you allow those thoughts to flourish, they can become beliefs that you hold true. When hurt and anger fuel those doubts, you start to imagine that every unkind word that has ever been spoken within your hearing distance is about you.

2 Corinthians 10:5  New International Version (NIV)
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Earlier this month, I was grappling with my identity. Things had happened and it takes being in the Word daily reminding myself that I am not a failure, I am not less than, I am not so overwhelmed with my chaotic life that the enemy can steal my joy, but he sure has tried to.

Ephesians 6:12  New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

The first thing to go wrong was my cellphone screen was purposely broken by our grandson, an inquisitive tike, who wanted to see what would happen when he ran his toy shopping cart over the top of it. It cracked the screen, but not in a beautiful prism pattern, as in the photo above, but lines crawling down and around my screen. I wanted to scream and yell and make him understand what he did wrong, but he didn’t understand. He just kept saying, “Maw phone cracked.” And when I agreed with him, he gave me a hug. He didn’t realize it would affect the use of the phone. The speaker was damaged, but the phone is still usable. Is it pretty, definitely not, but it still works, even with tape over the screen. My Joy is found in Jesus, not in things.

Several days later, my computer screen was damaged beyond repair, but thankfully the hard drive is okay. Accessing it right now is not easy, but at least I know at some point I will be able to retrieve the data and photos I have stored on my computer. Yes, I cried and lamented once again that one of my electronic devices had been damaged, and even felt as if it was my fault and I was a failure because he had managed to damage it. If I had been more proactive in closing my lid when not using my laptop; if I had never let him sit with me when I worked on it; if I had put it away when I was done with it – the same speech I give when he is done with his toys and things. All the “if I had” thoughts tried to make me believe that I had somehow failed as the adult in the situation.  And then depression set in. Worry took hold. Once again, the devil tried to steal my joy and harden my heart, but I love Jesus, so I asked for forgiveness for the anger I was holding onto and forgave this young child because once again, he didn’t understand what it all meant.  And no amount of explaining or reasoning would help.

As a child of God, I choose to love others. I choose to show grace and mercy even when that is the last thing I want to do. I make those choices because Jesus shows me grace and mercy and loves me, no matter how many flaws I have. No matter how broken I am, He is always there for me.

As I have leaned into the Lord and continue to learn how merciful He is, I realize that all the material things in the world mean nothing – they are simply things. Is it a lesson I wanted to learn, heck no. But it was one I needed to learn. God uses every single trial and test we go through to refine and purify us into the person he wants us to be. Even broken electronics. Even broken dryers and broken down vehicles. The fractures I’ve experienced in my home these last few weeks, all boil down to “stuff”.

Psalm 73:26-28 The Message (MSG)
25-28 You’re all I want in heaven!
You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.
But I’m in the very presence of God—
oh, how refreshing it is!
I’ve made Lord God my home.
God, I’m telling the world what you do!

I serve a loving God. I walk with Him daily. He holds me up when I feel like caving in, he sends love and support through prayers and helps from friends,  that I call angels here on earth. He loves me enough to let me go through trials, minor tribulations compared to what many in the world face today; in my mind’s eye, they seemed pretty big at the moment. When I rely more on my cell phone, my laptop computer, my clothes dryer and even my vehicle, more than I rely on God, I needed that wakeup call.

Jesus is enough. The phone, computer, dryer, and van make my life easier, but it won’t get me into Heaven. Only Jesus can do that. And Jesus is the only one that can heal our hearts and minds.

Ephesians 6:14-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[a] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[b] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[c]

Wearing the Full Armor of God is the best way to live. When calamity strikes, no matter what it is, I can stand firm in knowing that no matter what problems I face, they are only temporary. And there is nothing wrong with me. I am worthy, I am good, I do my very best every day and because I am human, sometimes I fail. But that is not held against me by God. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Only Love.

If you are struggling with your identity and who you are, remember this, Jesus knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. He knows everything about you and He loves you. Right where you are, right now, at this moment. Do not give the devil and foothold in your mind. Because that’s where many battles are fought.

May you remember you are more precious than rubies. Jesus Loves You!

Blessings to you~Carlene

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

 

 

Gift of Love

James 1:17 New International Version (NIV)
17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

 

As I sit here this morning, watching the snow fall outside my window, it reminds me of how the Father covers us.  When we come to know Jesus Christ and accept Him as our Lord and Savior, he covers us by the sacrifice of his blood on the cross. And we are made pure in his sight, white as snow.

I’ve always said I don’t like snow and I have to confess I love watching it fall outside my window, I simply don’t care for the cold temperatures associated with falling precipitation.  Earlier, gazing out my window, I saw a muddied yard, with brown, lifeless trees and now I see white all around, and everything appears pristine and fresh.

2 Corinthians 5:17 New Living Translation (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

No matter who you were or how your life was before Jesus, you are given a new life, one held together with love, mercy, and grace. Your sins are covered by the blood of the Lamb, similar to how God covers the muddled, messy ground with freshly fallen snow.

There is not one of us that can claim to be Holy or Righteous without the Cross. Jesus bore the sins of the world so we could be reconciled to God. When sin entered the garden, it separated us from God. With Jesus’ death on the cross, it gives us atonement for our sins, once and for all. When we come to Jesus, repent of our sins, and choose to follow Him, we are considered children of God. Jesus is the bridge that brings us back to a Father that sin keeps us from.  Living a life as a Christian isn’t easy.  He died for us so we could live life abundantly.  He didn’t promise there wouldn’t be problems, but in life and in death, he showed us how to live and overcome hate.

love hearts

Live your life with purpose, choose Joy that only God can give. Accept peace and hope as the things we seek and cling to. Live passionately, love extravagantly, Choose life. We are only given one chance to get this right. Choose to love others, help those that need help, pray and expect miracles. Leave a legacy.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~right where you are, right now!

Blessings~Hope Always, Have Faith

Carlene

 

Be Kind

Kindness1

Our son reminded me today that he always tries to be kind to everyone he meets because he doesn’t know what they are struggling with and he might have an interaction with them in the future and he wants to be remembered for his kindness.

He has no idea how much that touched my heart to hear him say that, in the course of our conversation. He has no idea how my heart swelled and tears formed in my eyes because he learned something that I have tried to model most of my life.

Being kind isn’t always easy, but it is so worth it. When we decide to show genuine caring and kindness, we choose to show grace in all situations. We may not feel like being kind; we may be hurting or have been hurt by others or their actions or words, but kindness costs nothing; much like a smile or a simple hello, it can have a ripple effect.

While we were out shopping today, picking up last minute items needed for our family Christmas celebration, I was thankful for the kindness of the cashier that checked us out with a smile and simple conversation. Was she kind because that was her job or because she knows the secret that kindness can spread like wildfire? I choose to believe she knows.

Living a life of kindness starts with having love in our lives and hearts. I know that not all people are as lucky as I was to grow up in a loving family, that loved unconditionally, no strings attached. I have sorrow in my heart for those that did not. I have a few friends that lived with conditional love. I cannot imagine living like that. So, I know I am very blessed and I do my best to not ever take that for granted.

A simple act of kindness goes a long way.  The ripple effect comes into play when one person experiences it and passes it on. It may be in the form of a hug, thanking a Veteran, a smile, giving to the needy, saying a prayer for someone and so many more things.  It doesn’t have to cost a single cent, just a few moments of your time.

There is no special skill required to show kindness. Love helps. When you have the love of the Father within you, kindness expressed is easier because God was so kind to us when He gave us His One and Only Son so many thousand years ago. He showed the ultimate act of kindness because He loves us that much.

My mother has always said, “Be kind, you never know what someone is going through.” She is a very wise woman.

But I think Jesus spoke it the best:

 Matthew 25:34-40 NLT

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing?39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[a] you were doing it to me!’

May you know how much Jesus Loves YOU~right now, in this moment and always.

Blessings~Carlene

Sharing Hope

Today was such a great day for me, because not only did I get to share my love of Jesus with a good friend, but I also was able to offer hope and encouragement, which is the one thing I know God has called me to do. It’s as much a part me as breathing is to other people. Faithhopelove

And God will use whatever tools are at His disposable to get His message out about forgiveness, grace, loving others and being a light in this dark world we live in. And, when I need to be reminded of the blessings I have in my life, which sometime’s, I take for granted He gently reminds me to look at the big picture-His picture.

I had plans to meet an old friend for lunch, to catch up with one another and to ultimately answer her questions about these amazing plant-based supplements that I had been taking and was seeing such powerful, amazing results from.

I did get to share with her how the chronic pain and fatigue that I have experienced for the better part of the last 10 years, was gone. Is gone. I did get to share with her how I don’t experience joint pain anymore. I was elated to tell her that not only had I dropped a size in my pants and was slimming down and had this unimaginable sustained energy all day long, but for the first time in years, I could focus and concentrate and my thinking was sharper.  And I owed it all to God for orchestrating the amazing gift of health and healing through the use of these supplements.

As I shared all this with her, I realized that the same hope that my friend shared with me, I was sharing with her. Being able to offer someone hope, when they are feeling so poorly and can’t imagine that there is anything that can make them feel alive again, alive in the sense that you don’t have to be bedridden or live on your couch or do the very bare minimum in your life, that’s huge. I know, because I was there. And that really isn’t living. You merely exist. You cry behind closed doors. You put a smile on your face and you “fake” it. Until you can’t fake it anymore.  You seek help from your doctor, specialists, diets, alternative therapies, you name it-you try it and then one day, you decide enough is enough. It is what it is. I just have to learn to live with it. Until there is a cure or a proven treatment, I’m done. Done being a guinea pig.  You modify the way you do everything. And every single day, you pray. You ask God, “Why?” and sometime’s you don’t know why, but you love God and you Trust Him. Because you know His Plan is always better. And that is where I was six months ago. I was done. I would live with what was going on in my body and I would trust God for the outcome.

Now, remember, His Plans are always best. When my friend suggested that I try these supplements, I must admit, I rolled my eyes and I laughed inwardly.  Why in the world, would “vitamins” help me when nothing else had? But, and here’s the big thing, I knew that God played role in me trying them. I knew that my friend wouldn’t just suggest something if she didn’t wholeheartedly believe that was what God was telling her to share with me. And I prayed about it. And there was peace. Peace only He can give.  So, I said, ok, let’s try them.  And not only did I try them, I started seeing results within the first three weeks (this isn’t the case for everyone-but God knew I needed the reassurance that I was on the right path) and by eight weeks, I was pinching myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming and by 12 weeks, I was feeling the best I had felt in 10 years (520 weeks)!

And then I started thinking about all the things I was able to do that would seem simple to other people. For instance, going out to lunch to meet a friend. I wouldn’t have even considered that 6 months ago. By the time I would have woken up, showered, dressed and made it downstairs, my energy would have been gone. And I would have had to cancel or realistically, I wouldn’t have even set up a date for lunch for fear I would have had to cancel once again.  And if I was having a good day, back then, and I actually made it to our meeting place, sitting for over 3 hours, laughing, talking, sharing our faith with one another, the pain of sitting for that long would have definitely been something I paid for with flare-ups and agony for weeks to come.

So, yes, I am very thankful that I chose to try these supplements and I will never be without them. I am so very thankful that my friend was obedient in sharing them with me and listening to the Lord. plexus journey

I share my story because I know there are other people, much like my friend today, that have struggled with many health issues that nothing seems to help and like me, she is sick and tired of being sick and tired. I shared my story with her and offered her hope and healing her body from the inside out. We all have root issues that need to be addressed, instead of putting “band-aids” on the problem. And getting to the root of the issues is what these amazing plant-based supplements do. They focus on gut health and once your gut is healed and your body is balanced, other things fall into place. Is it a “magic pill”, nope. Everyone’s story is different. Everyone’s journey is different. It isn’t a quick fix. But they do work. And I will continue to share my story with anyone and everyone because that’s what God is leading me to do.

And in the midst of our super long lunch date, we talked about our faith and how God stretches us and grows us and pulls us out of our nice, cozy comfort zones. First thing, is we have to be willing. It’s easy to say, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. It’s another thing to truly follow Him and His leading. After walking with Him, for over 40 years now, I still falter more times than I care to admit; I struggle with some things that I know He wants me to do and yes, I even argue with Him. I never win. It usually just prolongs things to where I have to ask for His forgiveness and go and do it. Do it scared sometimes. But the blessings that I get, the amazing love that I witness, because I chose to listen to our Heavenly Father far outweighs the fear. Love casts out fear.

I was reminded today, that the enemy will do whatever he thinks is necessary to spur doubt in our minds and hearts. He definitely does not like it when believers gather and profess the love of Jesus and His unfailing mercy and grace. Light always penetrates the darkness. And as long as I have breath, I will share Jesus’ story of redemption, hope, and grace.

May you know how much Jesus Christ loves you ~ right where you are, right now. He is always available to you.

Many blessings~Carlene