dreams

Carlene Wooddell

Reflections in My Mind

Psalm 119:169-170 New Living Translation (NLT)
169 O Lord, listen to my cry;
give me the discerning mind you promised.
170 Listen to my prayer;
rescue me as you promised.

I miss working daily.  I don’t miss rising super early while it’s still dark outside, with little traffic to speak of, but I do miss the daily conversations with co-workers and vendors/customers.  I don’t miss working on holidays or funky schedules because of the type of job it was, but being an extrovert and conversationalist, it’s difficult day in and day out to not talk to people, other than your family members you live with. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family.

I don’t miss being in such severe pain that I would cry every day as I limped to my vehicle for the 10-minute ride home.  I often wished my drive home was longer because this was the only time I had to myself throughout my day. Being a people person; never meet a stranger type gal, I still need quiet time for me.  And since retiring with a disability, the only time I get for myself is when I sleep. (I did have one day over the weekend where my husband took the two children for the day to visit other family members and it was very appreciated!)

There is always someone with me. I am very thankful to have my husband with me, as we continue to grow older and blessed that I get to spend all day with two of our grandchildren and our daughter, but there are moments when you just need your own space. And if you are a parent, then you know even going to the bathroom usually means there will be someone following you in to talk with you or “hang” out.  I never fully understood until I had children of my own, what parents meant when they said they couldn’t even hide out in the bathroom. Our children are grown, but inquisitive toddlers don’t understand their presence is not needed every time.

I used to read three to four books at a time, and now I am lucky to get through one chapter of a book in an entire day!  I miss reading like that.  Just immersing myself in a story, envisioning the characters and the scenes, gripping the book in my hands with a feeling of ‘I know I should go to bed but I can’t put it down just yet’ or ‘I’ve got to see how this ends’ mentality. Now I just pray to make it through one chapter and hope that by the time I can pick the book up again, I won’t forget what I read and have to start it over.  It’s so frustrating how my brain has changed since I retired due to my fibromyalgia and other health conditions.

I look back at where I was in 2016, leaving a job of 16 years, with no plans except trusting God for everything, to where I am now and a whole lot has happened in the short amount of time, but Jesus has carried me through every single situation. He has been my strength, my provider in more ways than one, and continues to be available for me every single second of every day.

art artistic black and white blank
Photo by Lynnelle Richardson on Pexels.com

*I was approved for my Social Security Disability within a few months of applying, for the first time on my own. No denial or a need to get an attorney to help me fight, which is all I heard from people when I said I was going to apply.

*Available to help our daughter with her son, after he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder as he needed substantial support and constant supervision. Read everything I could get my hands on to learn about ASD and did my own type of “homeschool” to help him(this would not have been possible if I had been working full time).

*I wrote and self-published a book about the Jesus and His mercy and grace.

*Met others that live with the same type of health conditions I have so we can offer one another support and encouragement.

*My faith increased as I saw God’s hand in my life and the lives of those I love.

*Drew closer to the Lord through trials and tribulations of going from having an income to no income to a fixed income and thankful for pantries and organizations that help when you need it.

I’ve been blessed to witness so much in our grandson Tyson since his diagnosis in 2016. He was nonverbal. Now he is speaking. He made no eye contact or engaged with others, now he is doing better. He lived in his own world, and now he lets us in.  Every victory, big or small, is celebrated. And when I look back at to where he was at 26 months to now, I am so thankful God has placed the right therapists, doctors and medical support staff in our path.

I’ve sat with my husband at doctor appointments for myself and him, as we navigate the many health issues we have and I am thankful I was able to do that for him and not wonder what is going on, as his memory isn’t what it used to be.

I have seen our older grandchildren blossom into thinkers and doers. Always being kind and helpful to others. Moments that I would have missed had I not retired. But early retirement comes with a price. When it’s not planned and you have no life savings or retirement funds to look forward to, there is always the concern that what will happen if there is an emergency or a crisis.  Even in those moments, the Lord has seen us through.

I miss having a steady income stream. Or should I say I miss my hourly rate of pay? If I were to figure out my monthly disability income as an hourly wage, I would be making a lot less than the federal minimum wage.  And that 2% cost of living increase the federal government was so kind as to give people that receive social security doesn’t even begin to cover anything. But an increase is better than a decrease I guess. Receiving benefits once a month versus weekly or bi-weekly truly teaches the value of money and what you spend your money on.  Going to the movies, out to eat, bowling, museums, etc. that is a rarity. Trying to explain to children why they can’t have a $3 happy meal is difficult some days, but it is not the end of the world. Life goes on.

The one thing I despise is having a chronic condition and going to urgent care or emergency room because the pain you have is something out of the normal for you and if they know you have an autoimmune disorder, many tests/scans that might be done for a person without a chronic invisible illness, presenting with the same complaints and symptoms, isn’t even considered or done because of the chronic condition you have.  Why does the public or medical personnel think that every person with chronic pain related condition is seeking out drugs or medications for pain relief??? Sometime’s all you want is an answer to why you are feeling so poorly and wanting help.  You know it’s not the same kind of pain you live with day in and day out, but once they hear the F word (fibromyalgia) it’s chalked up to that and nothing is done. I know why, so you don’t need to tell me, it really was a rhetorical question.  Because there are many people that have cried wolf one too many times and makes it bad for the rest of us that truly do need help.  I don’t take any kind of pain medication that I can’t purchase over the counter from the pharmacy.  I can’t due to another health condition.

Prayer and focusing on Jesus and His Word carries me every day. I could complain all day long, but it won’t help me feel better.  It will actually suck the life out of me. Focusing on how blessed I am and how thankful and grateful I am makes me feel better, even on pain filled fatigued days.

Yesterday was a pain filled day. It didn’t start out that way, but as the day progressed, the severe muscle spasms that come when they feel like it and leave the same way, almost debilitated me yesterday.  As I was trying to reach something just out of my reach, they started in my abdomen, worked their way under my ribs on both sides and into my back and shoulders.  When these hit, there isn’t one thing that makes them better.  Lots of little things I try: stand up, bend over and hang in that position for a while, press firmly on my sides, try massage, ice packs, heating pads, a lot of breathing in and out slowly much like a woman having contractions in labor. I wish I could just walk them out similar to leg and foot cramps, but I am at the mercy of my body. And as they relaxed to a dull ache, and not a stabbing pain, I was finally able to lay down and rest. I hate when I have days like that. I’ve been dealing with these stupid spasms for over ten years. No one knows why they happen, or how to prevent them. I’m not low on magnesium or potassium, it’s not my heart, it’s just one minor inconvenience of having fibromyalgia.

I do take a supplement that helps with overall pain, but it’s not a cure-all for all my pain.  How I wish it was. But I am very thankful to have it as a tool that I use daily.

I am in the process of listening to the Lord and seeking guidance on writing another book. Not sure when it will happen, if it will happen but I feel a tugging on my heart to do it. I know God gives us the desires of our hearts and the gumption to achieve them.  I am still waiting to discern the topic for the book. My thoughts are jumbled and my spirit believes it has to do with His might and our worth in Him, but forming the words into sentences that make sense and will help others know Him more intimately, are still randomly bouncing around in my mind.

Our homelife recently changed, as our granddaughter Emmalin made her presence known. We are adjusting to having a baby in the house again and loving the fact we can see her daily, but how easy we forget the demands of a new babe and they have no sleep routine yet. They are more powerful than they realize. It’s all good.

As for reading, I am currently reading a book called The Autism Answer by Dr. Frank Lawlis. I will let you know what I think if I finish it.The Autism Answer by Dr Frank Lawlis

It’s only 122 pages long and years ago, I could have read that in a few hours. I have had it since last Friday and only have made it to page 11! So, maybe if the stars align, and Tyson is having a good day, and health problems don’t arise, maybe I will finish it before summer time.

I know this post has been all over the place, but that’s where my mind is today. My husband is having some health issues without any kind of answers and I will not say I am worried because worry gets you nowhere.  I am concerned that no answers of any kind seem to be attainable right now, but I will continue to press into the Lord and seek his guidance and wisdom.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right now and always. Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings ~ Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Carlene Wooddell

Faith Can Move Mountains

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 NLT

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Photo by Simon Migaj on Pexels.com

 

I read the above verse, and I am reminded that I have the  Holy Spirit with me. He dwells within me and I know that without Him, I wouldn’t have made it this far.  Each approaching new year, there are always goals/visions/hopes/dreams we each have. Some people make New Year’s Resolutions, others choose to make lifestyle changes, dietary changes, relationship changes, and some choose to just look at it as another day and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I look back over the past 12 months and I have seen a lot of hard behaviors to cope with, on a daily basis. Keeping the peace of Jesus in my heart and alive in my life has been nothing short of a miracle; many days I wept inwardly, wondering where that Peace was. How had I went from being able to handle almost anything that required coping skills, to being in constant prayer and conversation with my Maker because I felt I was losing my grasp on His Peace. What had gone so awry that I felt lost and alone, in a room full of people? And then I realized that I was relying too much on my own strength and not relying on His.

In our home, we have many medical diagnoses. Four of us live here, soon to be five give or take 6-7 weeks if our soon to be (second) granddaughter waits until her due date to make her arrival.  I personally deal with fibromyalgia, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, sleep apnea, degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine with facetous arthritis, osteoarthritis in my hip/knee joints, carpal tunnel syndrome, thyroid disorder, high blood pressure. Plus I live with people who suffer from depression/anxiety/heart/stroke/language disorders, autism, adhd, sensory processing disorder, epilepsy, and mental illness.

Keeping track of medical appointments, therapy schedules, labs that need to be completed in a timely manner and pregnancy-related appointments, just about makes my head spin; dealing with IEP’s and developmental delays….the list goes on.  If only one of us is having a rough day, we can manage pretty good; if all of us are having an off day, it’s a true struggle.

It’s remembering that I was not created to do things in my own strength.  I have heard, as I am sure you have too, that God will not give you any more than you can handle and there have been days I have questioned that statement. But the Truth is, God doesn’t expect us to handle anything on our own, but to turn to Him and rely on Him.

And while in the midst of my cries to the Father, seeking guidance on how to proceed with this life He allows me to live, waiting on His answer is always the hardest part for me. In the past two years, since retiring early due to disability, I thought for sure I knew the path He would take me, but it has been such an amazing and frustrating journey, that He only gives me glimpses of what He has called me to do. Just enough to take that next step of faith. I can only imagine that if I were to see the entire picture of the plan He has for my life, it would be so all-consuming, overwhelming that I might crumble at the thought of it.

In His infinite wisdom, He knows what is best for each of us. He provides for every need. It may not be the provision we envisioned, or even hoped for, but He always gives us just the right words, at just the right moment. And yes, He answers prayers. Some days it’s “Yes, my child.” “No, not now.” or “Wait, it’s not time for you to know yet.” In His perfect timing. I have learned not to pray for patience because patience always requires testing of some kind; so I pray for peace to get through those times.

Every single solitary thing we go through in life refines us into the people God created us to be. Some are very exciting and mind-blowing, others are so sad and sorrowful, we want to skip that process, but every single second of our lives, He is working in us and for us. And the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

I love my family more than my own life. I don’t like when we are nipping at one another, or being grumpier than normal, because it tears me up inside. I guess though, that since we are human, that is bound to happen from time to time.

I’ve been in my own world for weeks now. A close dear friend is fighting the battle of her life with a cancer diagnosis and no definitive results yet on exactly the type of or the best type of treatment for her. And when I think of all she has been through, what her family is going through daily, I give thanks because my problems don’t seem so out of control as they feel. The strength and courage that she has shown, in living out her faith and trusting in the Lord brings joy to my heart and encourages me to look for every single blessing I have or blessings I have overlooked.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Whatever mountain you are facing in your lives today, please know there is a Savior that would love to hear from you. He is always available. He is always listening.

Jesus can turn any mess into a message of hope and any test into a testimony.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right here-right now!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

If You Could Do Anything, What would it Be?

The other night in a women’s Bible Study group, the question was posed ” If you could do anything you wanted, financially there was no limit and God had paved the way and gone before you, what would you do??

Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.- Deuteronomy 13:4 NLT

There were a lot of great answers and I selfishly said, I would want to go away and take a break! And at that moment, I meant it.

But I have been giving that question a lot of thought since that night because we all have hopes and dreams, things that we think are way too big or too impossible and I realize that with God, NOTHING is impossible.

27 And Jesus, looking upon them, said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” – Mark 10:27 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

I believe that sometime’s we get so caught up in the day to day busyness of our lives, no matter what that busyness looks like and we store away our hopes and dreams for ‘when the time is right’ or ‘when I have enough money’ or ‘when our kids are grown’ or ‘once I get that promotion’ and I know that is not how God intended for us to live.  Always thinking that we have to wait until everything is perfect before we try something new, fulfill a lifelong dream, reach for an unreachable desire in our hearts.

I love ministering to others by sharing my story, here, and in person of how my life has been touched by Jesus Christ. I love encouraging others and sharing what it is like to walk by faith and not by sight. My heart is full when friends ask me to pray for them or a situation or share the Word with them.

Follow Your Heart

God will use anyone how He chooses.  The fact is we have to be willing and we have to be obedient to His call. Many people hear from the Lord in a number of ways, and those ways are just as different as there are people to hear Him. I feel a nudge in my spirit to share a message or word He gives. And sometime’s I understand what I am to do and I don’t always obey because fear sets in.  Fear is a tool of the enemy.  The devil will use any tool in his power to stop me in my tracks. Doubt may creep in and I worry more about how I will look, and what people will think, more than caring about The One that nudges me to go and do His work. Sometimes it doesn’t have to make any sense to me.  But I still need to do it.  Walking in obedience to the Lord should be the easiest thing for any of us to do, but many times the chaos of our lives shuts out His voice.  Until we think we need Him and then we wonder why we can’t hear Him. He is always with us and always waiting to connect with us through every part of our lives and always listening.

I still don’t have a solid answer for what would I do if money was no object and God had blessed my vision for what my lifelong dream would be, so I will be still in the waiting and seek his guidance. I do have thoughts, but nothing concrete. I can say, without a doubt it would be geared toward people that have special needs due to a medical/disability diagnosis, but exactly what they type of ministry would it be, I don’t have all the details yet, just a burning fire within me to help these groups of people and it really isn’t any wonder since I love and care for someone that is very special to me and has very special needs.

I would like to encourage you to pursue your dreams. Find something you love and go do it! Because God will give you all the tools you need to fulfill your wildest and crazy dreams; He places those desires in your heart.  It will take grit, determination, and perseverance and there may be times you think you got it all wrong, but this is where your faith comes in.  Faith is believing even when you can’t see!

I do know from my own point of view, I’ve had a tugging at my heart to do something for Special Needs Individuals, that isn’t out there yet-I just have no idea what it is at the moment. And more than just the little guy in our lives that requires so much.

I learned a long time ago, that if you are doing what you love, you will excel at it; if you are working just to earn a paycheck and you hate it; it’s not where you are supposed to land forever.  It may just be a stopping point along your path, to help you grow in an area that needs growth.  God doesn’t have us anywhere to waste our time.  There is always a purpose. And when the time is right, God will have you move and go.  Don’t fear the going. Trust in your Creator.  He knows everything about you.  Everything.

Ministry-serving others can happen anywhere. In our homes, the grocery store, a foreign land, in our day to day with others. We are called to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ and His story.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You ~ right where you are ~ in every moment of your lives! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings ~ Carlene

Carlene Wooddell

Keeping it Real

For the Lord, your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

 

 

I am encouraged by reading the above passage of Scripture.  Yes, Jesus is living among us. His Holy Spirit lives within me. He is Mighty and Powerful. He delights in me! He calms my fears with a love like no other and He rejoices over me with joyful songs.  This verse reminds me that no matter how things may appear to me, my Heavenly Father rejoices over me and my life!

I firmly believe that everything that we go through in life is for a greater purpose than we can see or imagine. I know that God is in control and when you have a personality like mine that wants to fix all the problems around and ease burdens, it’s easy to think you’re on your own.

HAHF

I love the Lord with an everlasting love. One that cannot be diminished by my circumstances. I know there is nothing I will ever face that he can’t possibly understand or hasn’t overcome.

I’ve been feeling out of sorts of late and I cannot pinpoint why.  I can think of many reasons but not specifically pinpoint it. Two years ago, when an invisible chronic illness forced me to reevaluate my life and retire early at the age of 51, I wasn’t sure what would happen or how our family would make it without my income, but I knew God would provide a way.  It was scary.  I had worked since I was 16 and being someone who typically fixes problems, I really had no idea how to fix this. I knew though, that if I didn’t start taking care of myself, I wouldn’t be good for anyone else.

I have never been the type of person that puts my needs above others. I am not wired that way, so trusting God and the Peace He imparted to me, made the decision, although scary, so much easier to make.

Three months after taking early retirement, my daughter and I sat inside a small exam room of our local Children’s hospital Developmental Pediatrics clinic finding out her son, our youngest grandchild, had Autism Spectrum Disorder and that opened up a whole new set of scary challenges. He was nonverbal. That was in 2016. He has found his voice but doesn’t answer many questions yet, unless they are specific questions he can answer.

No matter how much pain I was in, every day I would research and work with him to help him understand, teach him simple signs so he could make his requests known and try to bridge the gap between his mind and the world. His favorite phrase, now is “I love you too.”  He climbs up on my lap, wraps his arms around my neck and repeats that phrase over and over. Melts my heart.

Living within our means was a challenge when I was working full-time and bringing home a paycheck every other week. Living on a fixed income and having enough to last from month to month is nothing less than a miracle from God. And there are some months, there isn’t enough, but God always provides for our needs. We have found hope through food pantry programs and installment plans on bills to carry us through and the love of family and friends.

Somewhere along the way, dreams changed, priorities shifted and I feel like a failure. I know I should not feel this way, but deep down, if we are keeping it real, I do. I can’t be on my feet for very long periods, or my legs go numb all the way to my feet, the searing back pain makes me want to sit down and cry, but I hold the tears back.  The widespread pain I used to experience throughout my body is held at bay by all natural supplements I use and I thank God every day that I found those.  However, they don’t help with the searing pain in my back. It’s the type of pain you learn to live with and you adapt. Pain changes a person, even if you try your best not to let it.

I had hopes of working til actual retirement age and retiring to a warmer state with no snow and no cold weather.  But I don’t see that in my sights anymore. Now I see therapies, medical appointments and helping our grandson thrive in his life. And I truly am not trying to sound like I am complaining, because I love this little guy and would do anything within my power to help him succeed.

I don’t like clutter anymore. At one time, it didn’t bother me as much as it does now. I would guess the fact that I see it 24 hours a day 7 days a week probably has a lot to do with that. When I was working, and then coming home to a mess, wasn’t as important as sitting down and relaxing before cooking dinner, bathtime, and bedtime. Now everywhere I turn, there is a mess. Yes, having a toddler in the home is a tiny part of the problem, but the biggest reason, is I have become too complacent in keeping the house in order. For the past two years, I have been saying the clutter has to go, and yet as I view the room around me, it seems not only has it not gone anywhere, but it has increased! My answer is simple, rent a dumpster, and start tossing. It sounds like an amazing idea until you figure the costs and realize the budget you live on will never work with the idea.

A year ago, my physician encouraged me to consider having a bariatric surgical procedure to help me feel better. And I did consider it but knew there was no way that I would be able to have the allotted time for recovering from such a procedure available to me, so I gave up on those plans. I have been considered morbidly obese for years and no amount of changing the way I eat, ever seemed to help. Exercising is so difficult because of the searing back pain that I have become resigned to being the size I am. And that is scary because I know that if I don’t lose some weight and get down to a healthier weight, I am not only putting my health at risk, I am shortening my lifespan.

This depression in me has rendered me “stuck”.  I want to do more with my life. I want to be a light to others. I want to be healthy. I want to be around for at least another 40 years or so, God willing, but I know that if I don’t find a way to get moving, more than I am now, I may end up more disabled than I already am.

Since 2005, I have struggled with a thyroid problem. I was diagnosed with Graves disease that year, because not only did I have a thyroid disorder, but I also had an autoimmune disorder. I have been without a thyroid gland since 2006 when it was eradicated by radioactive iodine treatments and have had to remain on medications that replicate the production of thyroid hormones that control the organs in my body.  I have been struggling with keeping my TSH levels in the normal range and finally some good news that the dose they have me on is finally showing good results.

Living with obstructive sleep apnea requires me to wear a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) mask every night and the machine forces air into my throat and keeps my airway open. About a year ago, I found out that even though my CPAP equipment was working properly, my cells and organs were not getting enough oxygen to live well. So, supplemental nighttime oxygen became part of my routine as well. When someone lives with OBSA, if they sleep for 12 hours or 2 without equipment to help keep their airway open, they will always feel fatigued and may suffer from headaches, leg cramps, falling asleep the moment they stop moving or talking. I never realized how important oxygen saturation in our bodies was until I was lacking it. I felt like a zombie and couldn’t comprehend why I was feeling so horrible, until I was informed, after testing, that even though my airway was remaining open during sleep with the CPAP, my oxygen saturation levels were dangerously low nearing 60%, not the recommended 90% or higher. For me, sleeping without my CPAP/Oxygen is not optional. The only way I can sleep without it is in an upright position and then I am still lacking the proper oxygen my body needs.

As my husband, grandson and I prepare to take a vacation, that has meant putting aside money we really don’t have, so we can get away and relax, I have come to realize this may be what I  need to get back into the right frame of mind. A change of scenery and climate, along with being able to visit a loved one that I miss deeply, might just boost my energy levels again. I am counting down the weeks until this becomes a reality.

Every morning as I sit with God and pray, I see the clutter in my home and I don’t want my heart to remain in a cluttered state. I need to embrace the purpose in my days. Seeing the same four walls and facing the same daily challenges in raising a special needs child can make anyone feel isolated and alone. I know it has for me. I have always been a “people person”. I love being around others and engaging in conversations and somehow, I have got to find a way to do that again. As far as the clutter, I know that many experts suggest starting off small, working on a small area at a time and not looking at the big picture. It’s just so hard when you see the entire picture daily. There is no shutting it off.

I know our lives are always a work in progress. Growth can’t come if we are not willing to change or try things in different ways. I know that for every failure I have ever experienced in my life, there has been a lesson learned and life always looks better when you get through the testing than when you are going through it.

And I know, that the feelings of failure and sadness that have been holding my heart hostage, they too shall pass. I know this because I am loved. I am worthy. I am enough.

Thank you for listening to the ramblings of someone who knows that I have much to be thankful and grateful for and that no amount of “feeling sorry for myself” will help. I guess I need to see the words and read them to realize that. And I owe it to all of my readers. Without readers, there would be no blog and no reason to realize that God will allow many events in our lives to take place as He works on molding and shaping us into the person He created us to be.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right now, wherever you are and He is always available to you! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Answer the Call

Are you living into the purpose God has called you to do?  I think I am, but how can we really be sure?  I always assumed that “the call” would be something grandiose and bigger than life, but what if it isn’t? What if the call God places on your life is what you would consider everyday mundane tasks?  And what I am becoming to understand and believe is that everything I do should give God glory and Honor.

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When I was working full-time, I didn’t consider working for a retail giant big box store my call, but I did do my very best to let other’s see Jesus in my actions and words. Seasoning my conversations with salt and grace. Being humble in spirit; no gossip; caring for others more than myself.  Extending grace when that was the last thing I would have done had Jesus not been with me.

God places the desires in our hearts. We have to be willing to pursue those desires.  We have to be willing to be interrupted to take the steps necessary to follow His lead. In this day and age, people will say, ‘I’ll do it when I have more time or I will do it when I have more money to fund it, or five hundred other excuses as to why NOW is not the right time.” And I know for one, I let doubt creep in and say, “you’re not good enough or you don’t have experience in this area or what will people think??” And the reality should be, “who cares?”  If God calls us to do something, big or small, we should jump at the chance, because it’s HIS Will for our lives.  We all forget, myself included, it’s not about us. It’s ALL about Him.

So, while I may or may not be a bestselling author one day, I know that right now the call on my life is to be a voice/advocate for our grandson, Tyson. Advocating for awareness for Autism Spectrum Disorder, Epilepsy, Sensory Processing Disorder and Language Disorder. I know it is my call to lift others up and to encourage them in spoken and written word and action.  I know God is working with me now to teach me who HE is and who I am in Him. Maybe someday, that will turn into a book to share with others, but it is not in my comfort zone to admit that I don’t have it all together and I don’t know everything I need to know and that I still have very much to learn about life, but He gently nudges me and He leads me by the hand, much as my earthly parents used to.  Sometimes he gives me a swift kick to get up and get going, when I would much rather stay in the comfort of my own world.

The past 4 weeks, our series at church as been called Church Interrupted.  God is calling the church, you and me, to do His work.  In your office, at your schools, at the deli where you get your meat, everywhere we go, He is calling us to remember our purpose here on earth.  To advance the Kingdom of God.  To lead others to Jesus.  For those of us that have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, with a repentant heart, we are to seek forgiveness, show forgiveness and accept the gift of salvation to live eternally with the Father.  And the only way to the Father is through Jesus. The only way to Heaven, is through Jesus Christ. He paid the price, on the cross. He bled and died for All of us and All our sins. There is nothing else you can do to get into Heaven no matter how good of a person you are. But while you are here, you are to do the Will of the Father.

Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. When you pray, and can’t find the words, do not fret, because the Holy Spirit will provide the words needed as they waft up to the Father. Trust your instincts. Become in tune with Him. God lives and dwells in the hearts and souls of believers and therefore knows our desires. He knows what He wants to accomplish in our lives and there will be many times of refining and purifying, tests and trials, we will walk through. Storms that will cross our paths, but do not fear for He is always with us. God is bigger than any fear that tries to squelch those dreams and desires.

I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure.. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, “These are my people, and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.”- Zechariah 13:9

Trust that what God is calling you into or out of, that He will equip you with everything you need to accomplish the task. Do not be afraid. Do not grow weary. Do not give up. Let you Faith in the Lord guide you when your eyes cannot see the outcome. Be a blessing to others as the Lord blesses you.

May you know that Jesus Loves You~at all times and in all seasons of your life. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to each of you ~ thanks for stopping by!

Carlene Wooddell

Love Beckons

When our daughter announced on January 1st of this year that she had become engaged, I thought things were moving way too fast and her boyfriend and her needed to slow down. They had dated over four years ago, and although I do not have anything personal against him, I didn’t feel only dating for a few months would be enough to accept a marriage proposal.  It took me some time to realize that they were serious and I could get on board or not. And then I realized that our baby girl wasn’t a baby anymore.

She has a child of her own. And many couples get married in their twenty’s so why was this so hard for me? I have many reasons, but I know the biggest reason is I want to make sure she is ready. It’s one thing to date someone and fall in love with them, it’s a whole other thing to commit to be married to them for the remainder of your life and since her father and I have struggled with that in our own marriages, you hope and pray better for your children, that they won’t face the same struggles.

Last week our daughter and future son in law informed us that they don’t want to wait to get married. They want to get married this summer, nothing big or fancy, but they don’t want to wait. Life is too short. When you know what you want, go for it. And once again I am bowled over by all of this. I can’t stop them and I can’t blame them, but I can say I am more frazzled than I have been in a long time. I’ve always dreamed of planning her wedding with her, but I had assumed I would have more than 4 months to do so. And since they are living with us and have not planned on a place of their own or have the budget for that, that is another concern. How much will their life change and how much will stay the same?Katlyn and Chris

Whilst we do not need to worry about a wedding gown, as she is not a frills type woman, there are still many things that must be figured out. A shelter has already been reserved for  a reception/party for after the nuptials, a theme for the party, and a very rough draft menu decided on, but that’s it. And now as we get ready to spring our clocks forward later tonight, I am reminded that time is of the essence.

His parents live in Florida and will be coming up and his mother will be officiating the ceremony as she holds a license for marriages in our state, but trying to plan things and coordinate details has been a little difficult. Our daughter knows what she wants, but can be very indecisive if given too many choices. Her fiance has had some input, but is leaving the details up to the bride to be and myself.

Today as we sat down to determine a rough menu of the types of foods, and planning on how to pull it off without a huge expense, I will say Pinterest has many helpful ideas and suggestions. I want this day to be a day she will look back on and smile, holding in her heart the memories of friends and family gathering to celebrate the love of two very special people.

RM DRAKE LOVE QUOTE

Lord, I ask that you grant clarity and wisdom as we move forward with these plans and that you will bless this couple and strengthen them as they move forward towards the next step of their journey. Allow the love they have to continue to blossom and give me the patience needed and peace to help them in any way I am able in making their dreams come true. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Life is short. Savor every moment you are given. Love extravagantly. Be thankful for the blessings in your life, no matter how small they may seem. Jesus Loves you~right where you are in this moment and always.

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Reflections

As I sit here thinking back on the last several weeks, I am reminded how precious our time is here on earth and how important it is to live our lives to the fullest every single moment we are given and whatever we choose to do, we do it with unbridled passion. Near the beginning of the month, a lifelong friend, that had so courageously battled cancer and never given up hope that she would survive, was killed by her husband.  

She cherished life and her children/grandchildren. She loved her friends and always had something positive to say, no matter how bleak things were for her. She was always smiling, for as long as I can remember. Always smiling on the outside. Always a kind word. And the last time I had spoken to her weeks before her death, she was still hopeful and joyful, even though, as it turns out her life was less than joyful. She chose to live life in such a manner to leave a legacy of loving others with kindness and compassion. She will never be forgotten. She touched so many lives while she was here.  

After the news of her death and paying respects, joining in the sorrow of the loss that many of us feel and celebrating who she was, I realized that none of us know the time or day God will call us home. So, with the time I have, I better us it wisely.`

Prior to the first of the year, I had prayed and planned and envisioned what 2018 was going to look like, what I was going to strive for and what my theme for this new year would look like. My theme is the same: Focus on God, Be Intentional and Savor the Moments of Life. My visions have shifted.

I realized that as I attempted to build an online business with Plexus Worldwide as an Independent Ambassador, I loved connecting with others and offering them hope, through health and wellness supplements, I did not like the “business” side of it. No matter how many customers I gained or other people that signed up to do the same, that is not where my heart lies. I could go on living that lie, or I could get real and realized that God has a different plan for me. When doing something that you are not 100% all in, no matter how much you try to convince yourself, there will always be feelings of resentment or maybe resentment isn’t the right word, but feeling like if I continued on that path, my family and I were suffering, emotionally.  I just knew that it was preventing me from being the person I was created to be.  I will always have GREAT things to say and share about Plexus and the products they offer, and I will continue to use them because they have helped me to feel so much better, but this is not where my joy comes from.

Jesus is my joy! Reading the Word, learning Truth, sharing the Good News that is where I find my joy, that is where I feel fulfilled. Hope comes in many forms and loving others comes naturally to me. I always look for the positive in any situation. I choose to show grace and mercy as much as humanly possible. I have many flaws, as do others, but I look for the good.  There is so much evil in this world, so much hatred and greed and people that are all about themselves, I don’t care to watch the news anymore. That’s all you see most of the time. It’s sad, but the one thing that never ever changes is Jesus. He is the same today, as he was 2000+ years ago, and he will be the same 2000 years from now. He is the one constant in my life. He is my Lord and Savior and He is my friend. 

He has seen me go through so much in my lifetime, and He still loves me. He weeps when I weep and he rejoices when I rejoice. My life has been far from perfect, there have been many choices I have made that have caused others to hurt, emotionally and as he works with me to realize that there is nothing I can do to be perfect this side of Heaven, he has taught me that forgiveness and love can cover over a multitude of anger, hate, evil and despair. When the demands of being a wife, mother, sister, grandmother, and friend become overwhelming, when there isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish all you hope to or need to, when the expenses outweigh the income, He always provides a way for things to work out. When you feel like you are in a tunnel and the walls are closing in, He is the One who lights the path and helps me to hold it all together. Days when I feel like screaming or crawling in a hole somewhere, He is with me. He comforts me. He lives within me. He guides me. 

I sit here in the midst of chaos. Toys spewed all over, crumbs left on the floor by a toddler, laundry overflowing that needs to be folded, dishes stacked high waiting to be washed, bills stacked up and I can choose to do two things, I can look at them as blessings in disguise or I can choose to be angry that no one else seems to notice. 

I choose to see everything in my life as blessings.  There are toys because He gave us this gift in the form of an inquisitive young child that wants to know how everything works and why the wheels spin on the toy truck, or loves the idea of the “black” sweeper, even though he can’t handle the noise of it, the crumbs and the dishes piled high mean there is food in our home to nourish our physical bodies, the laundry means we are fortunate enough to have more than one outfit to wear and a washer/dryer to care for those outfits.  The mess all around is contained by these four walls, we have a home to live in and a roof over our heads.  As I sit here typing this, I am watching my grandson, shred a piece of paper all over the floor, knowing that is just one more thing on my ever-growing list, but my life without him would be so lackluster and boring.

Every single child is a gift and a blessing. Some require more care than others. Extra care that you aren’t sure what that looks like or if it will ever happen where less one on one care will happen, but you embrace them. You love them. Living with someone on the Autism Spectrum is overwhelming, rewarding, crazy, chaotic and sometimes very stressful. Being able to cry out to Jesus and sit with Him in the midst of the chaos, keeps me sane. I think.

If you are living a life that is not what you want, you do have the power within yourself to make the changes.  It may not be easy, it might be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you are worth it.

May you know that Jesus Loves You~right where you are.

Blessings~Carlene

Rest in the arms of Jesus Sam! I love you and miss you deeply. (Samantha Howard Freels, July 7, 1965 – January 12, 2018)

Samantha

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Hope & Healing

God promises that He has a plan for our lives, He promises that he will give us abundant life, He promises to keep us safe from harm and He promises to give us HOPE and a future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”-Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

This particular scripture has been my “go to” Life Verse for as long as I can remember. Many days when I was struggling to keep my emotions in check and appear that I had it all together, when in fact, I did not, this one verse became my lifeline. I would remind myself over and over that God had promised he had a plan for me. Plans to prosper me and these plans would not hurt me and they would give me hope and a future.  And knowing the God of the Universe cared enough about me and my life, has always been enough to keep me going.

In 2008, I took a bad fall down a flight of stairs and then my life started changing dramatically. I started having continuous chronic widespread pain, that never went away but would become worse if I overdid it. My fatigue levels were crazy! Taking power naps anymore just wasn’t enough to keep me going on long days. And if I didn’t get enough rest, the pain was almost unbearable and there was no relief in sight. Every time I spoke to my physician about how  I was feeling, I would constantly hear, “we can’t find anything wrong” “your blood work looks normal” “as you get older, your body is going to have aches and pains” “you must be imagining it” “there is nothing we can do” and the list goes on. Talk about feeling hopeless.  But then I would think… God says HE has a plan for me. So even though I can’t see any good coming from all I am going through, I am going to TRUST Him, because I know His plans are so much better than I could ever imagine or dream.

Eleanor Roosevelt quote

In 2010, I finally found a doctor that was willing to listen. After two years of complaining to numerous doctors, getting labs done, imaging tests, exams and even counseling, finally someone was willing to look through my charts and see a pattern emerging and sent me to a Rheumatologist that confirmed her suspicions. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder for which there is no known cure and treatments that work for some people have no effect on others. Along with this new found diagnosis, I learned that my energy levels would soon become very precious to me and I would have to pick and choose what I did each day.  It has been said in medical journals and research that most people that develop this specific illness usually happens as a result of trauma to the body or caused or brought on by added stress to the body.  I believe the result of this diagnosis was in direct correlation to the traumatic fall I had when I fell down a flight of stairs, face first and landed with physical injuries that healed, but trauma to my entire body in the fall set off the chain of events that led to the chronic condition.

Fast forward to May of last year (2017), in this blog, I wrote about how this disorder was like living in a prison. And 7 months ago, I had pretty much given up hope, I was clinging to the verse that God had plans for me, but it wasn’t the strong faith I had always had, it was mustard seed faith. I was beginning to think that, for whatever reason, that I was being allowed to go through this type of suffering, I just couldn’t see that anything good could come from it.  (Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.) But, I chose to trust in the Lord and all His promises, even though I couldn’t see the light at the end of my dark tunnel. My faith had carried me all my life since I was a young girl and I wasn’t going to let this disorder change me like that.

And then the most amazing thing happened, God sent a messenger to me and she gave me hope.  No promises, but renewed hope. Did He see how my hope was faltering? Did He know that I was losing hope and that my faith was weak? OR Had this been part of His plan all along and now the pieces were finally falling into place?

I choose to believe that everything that led up to that day in May when I had lost almost all hope and was only hanging on by a thread of faith was all part of God’s Plan for my life.  Why do I choose to believe it?? Because I am a walking miracle!!!

After trying all kinds of prescription medications, physical therapies, and various medical solutions, none of which provided relief from the constant pain I was in, God was and is using plant-based supplements to heal my body from the inside out! I am forever grateful that I chose to listen with an open mind and heart when His messenger reached out to me.

I will admit that I was very skeptical that any type of supplement/vitamin could work for what I had been suffering from for over 7+ years. But then I thought, what have I got to lose?? If it didn’t work, then it didn’t work, but what if it did???  Trust me when I say this when you live with any type of chronic condition, and have tried just about everything the medical profession throws at you and nothing helps, the thought of taking supplements almost seems crazy, but I figured that was the only thing I hadn’t tried yet, so why not?

God/Jesus Christ is Sovereign, He Reigns Above ALL. He can heal people in whichever way He chooses. And He decides whether our physical infirmities are healed this side of Heaven or not. I firmly believe that. Jesus healed our souls when He died on the Cross.

(Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes, we are healed (our souls have been healed, cleansed, made right with God so we can live eternally with him).

Since starting these amazing plant-based supplements, and getting to the root issues of the diseases and disorders that I have been living with for years, my body is starting to heal from the inside out. No, they are not magic. Yes, you do have to be consistent in taking them, every day. Getting enough hydration through water, which our bodies need to function properly, as God designed them, and making better food choices, and yes, even exercise~all of that together, along with these supplements loaded with prebiotics, probiotics, magnesium, and many other vitamins and minerals our bodies need to function (without sugar, gluten or GMOs)  is transforming how I feel and how I look!

God gave me my life back and now I choose to share with anyone that is willing to listen that there is HOPE. It comes in many forms. And for each of us, it may be different. But the one thing He promises is we can always have Hope. Hope in a God that loves us so much that He died upon a cross for us.

There’s this company based out of Scottsdale, Arizona that cares about people and their health and happiness. They care for their customers, their Ambassadors that have come to not only know the amazing products and the benefits of the products because for most of us, we are a product of the products. We all have our own stories to tell of how choosing to take a chance with Plexus Worldwide has not only given us our health back but has given us hope when we didn’t have any left.

sluggish

I thank God every single day that He is allowing me to live again. I would much rather live with the aid of supplements that are created with plants, and a few products have New Zealand Green Lipped Mussels in them, that God provides for all of us, than to rely on synthetic/genetically modified medications created by man.

God has always provided for our needs~all of them. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. And the good that came from what I went through, well now I can understand how others may be feeling and offer them not only comfort but hope.

May you know how very much Jesus Loves You~right now in this moment and always!

Blessings and thanks for stopping by! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

 

~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlene Wooddell

Living with Purpose

For many years, I have believed that I was living with purpose and living out the plan and purposes that God has for me and my life.  I love to encourage others to stretch themselves and their faith, and to realize that our faith isn’t dependent on what we do, but what God does in our lives.

Seek Him

God calls us to be bold and to live abundantly, to trust Him for everything we need; HE will always go before us, and HE will equip us with what we need to achieve anything, but we have to have faith in Him.

How many times, in your life do you pray fervently, but see no results? How many days are you down on your knees, pleading with God to help you figure out what you are going through and why are you going through it and what possible purpose will it serve for you to go through the pain and agony you are going through? Often times, what we face in life, our challenges, struggles, our victories, are all leading up to glorifying God and being thankful and grateful that He allows us to go through this things so we can learn to comfort and bless others with our own stories.   The challenge for those of us that are so used to getting quick fixes to problems, is those quick fixes may be temporary solutions to long-term problems. God isn’t here for just a quick fix, he’s here for the long haul. From birth to death and into eternity.  He’s not the type of God that gives you a one time fix and says, “that’s it, you’ve reached your allotment for life, now go figure the rest out on your own, been nice knowing you.”

He is the type of Heavenly Father that weeps when you weep and cheers when you succeed. He loves you with a love like no other and all he asks in return is that you choose Him over anyone or anything else. That you choose to follow Him, to listen to what he tells you and to do two main things: Love Him with everything you are and everything you have and love others.  I have spoken on this before, but I think it is so important that it is repeated until everyone understands and grasps the simplicity of what HE wants from us. Because once you get that, once you understand that Love and everything that comes out of a true, selfless loving heart than you have everything you need to do His work.  And His work will look different in every single life. He calls us to walk with Him, to have a relationship with Him and I know from my own personal experiences in this life when I am walking with Jesus, I see things differently and have a more compassionate heart for people and their struggles.  He doesn’t want us to walk in fear or a belief that I am not good enough, I can’t do this or I can’t do that.  Moses didn’t think he could lead God’s people Israel out of Egpyt, but he did. But it took convincing from God that even though he did not think he was strong enough or people would listen to him, God went before Him and God equipped Moses for everything he needed to do for the Kingdom.

 

I have been reminded of this fact lately in my own life. As many of you know, I have struggled with living in chronic pain for over the last 7+ years.  And I have had to change my way of doing many things and learn to adapt to new circumstances that were entirely out of my control and not only was it very depressing to me, and people that knew and love me, but it was a tremendous burden to my spirit that I could not provide for my family or help with the household income.  And I had pretty much given up any hope of ever feeling truly alive again. I didn’t give up on my faith, my faith in God and His promises is the ONE thing that kept me going. I knew without a shred of doubt that HE has a plan for my life and His plans are always so much bigger than I will ever be able to see.  I also know that if I were to know everything that I would go through and will still go through, it would be too overwhelming for me to handle. So living into my purpose comes in pieces that are tangible for me to understand and grab hold of. And that is why I am who I am and God is who He is. He knows just exactly what I need at the moment and He knows just what you need, nothing more, nothing less.

In June of this year, I received an amazing gift of love from a dear friend that has changed my life forever. I no longer suffer from chronic pain, fatigue or the many other symptoms I was experiencing and I want to share what has helped me to feel alive again and better than I ever have. I want others that suffer from chronic health problems, that believe that all hope is lost and they are destined to continue on the path of pain, fatigue, depression, irritable bowel symptoms, allergies too many to mention, that need to get themselves healthy but have no idea how to do it. I want to share with others that this is not a quick fix or a magic pill you take, and all is better. I want to educate others, as I have learned that many of the autoimmune disorders that people live with and are diagnosed with every single day, can be helped if they understand how their body functions and works. People that want to not only be in their children’s and families lives but actually be able to participate in their lives and be part of them and trust me when I say there is a difference. Watching from the couch or sidelines isn’t a way to live. I did that for many years. I could make plans and then have to cancel them because I just didn’t have the energy required to even get dressed, let alone go anywhere.

Eleanor Roosevelt quote

And I am the type of person when I have something to share, that I believe will benefit others, I want to shout it from the rooftops, and the valleys, but I too struggle with wondering if my voice will be heard. I am human. I have learned that just because people reject what I am sharing with them, doesn’t mean they are rejecting me. And as I grow into this new person I am becoming and learning to love the body I am in, finally, I know that I am doing what I am called to do. Every day when I meet with God in prayer, he confirms this is where He wants me right now. Life is a journey, full of dull, sad, exciting, transforming and unexpected moments.

faith

Had I not chosen to accept a gift of love over 4 months ago, I might still be sitting on the sidelines wondering what it was like to be living life to the fullest every day.  I chose to trust God that His plan was bigger than I could see or envision.  And as I continue to trust in Him, I know that He is using these amazing new products to heal my body from the inside out. I would love to help you if you want to be the best version of you. I would love to know how I can serve you and be a blessing to you, just as my friend was a blessing to me. When you are ready to take your health back and in turn live your best life ever, let me know. I am here and I would love to walk with you in your journey to better health and happiness.

May you always know how much Jesus Loves You and he will meet you right where you are!

Blessings to all of you~thanks for stopping by.

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith