Category Archives: children

Darkness

In a moment of intense hurt, heated words and threats were voiced. Witnessing physical  violence between people you love isn’t something any one ever wants to see.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10 NIV
Darkness is looming here. Apology was not accepted as I hoped.

As I process all that has happened, I fervently pray God will help me through it all.

I am a Christian. I am not perfect. I am definitely capable of screwing up and making mistakes.

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 NIV

My heart is broken and shattered. Jesus will help me. I know that to be true.

May you know how much Jesus loves you. He can turn any mess into a message, any test into a testimony.

#HOPEALWAYSHAVEFAITH

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

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Days Gone By

As I sit here, I just can’t believe that summertime is over and school is upon us. For some districts, their school has already started. Our summer break didn’t go exactly as planned, but we still managed to squeeze in a few days at the Columbus (Ohio) Zoo and Newport (Kentucky)Aquarium.  Tyson had a blast and that was our hope. A great way to end the summer before starting all-day kindergarten this year!

Tyson Berwin Park

Climbing down -because he never does things easy.

As I look back on the past several years and read some of my past blog posts, I am amazed at how far Tyson has come. When he entered preschool two years ago, at the age of 3 he had 24 words and some of them weren’t even true words, but sounds he made for something.  Now at the age of 5, he not only has unlimited words in his vocabulary but is speaking in multiple sentences at a time!!! We are so thankful to the many speech therapists that have worked with him and continue to work with him on articulating each syllable he speaks. He used the word “very” quite often but still says “berry”. And somewhere along the way, this child has come up with the phrase”not quite yet” when asked if he is ready to do something or finished with it.  It is quite comical because he is ever so serious when he says it.

He is very excited to be going to Kindergarten. He will be in a Special Education Resource Room for most of his learning time, but as he excels in areas or becomes proficient, he will have the opportunity to spend time with his neurotypical peers in another classroom, as well as going to gym, music, art, library, and lunch with them.

Four more days and he will be boarding his schoolbus and starting his adventure for the year.  To say that I am excited, would be an understatement.  I love him with my entire heart and then some, but I am ready for my own break from him.  He is so full of energy and inquisitiveness, this grandma is ready for some downtime.

A friend asked me if I thought he would do well in an all-day class and quite frankly, I think he will be amazing. He THRIVES in a structured environment.  The night of the school open house, it took a long time to get him out of his classroom. So many things to see and do. The hardest part of the whole day will be getting him up very early (for him) to get ready and eat before his bus comes.  I am sure he will be one of the children that will fall asleep on the ride home.

Over the summer, other changes have taken place. Our son moved back home, with a new puppy, that is not trained yet. He is a beautiful dog, but still very hyper and having one hyper “boy” in the house does not help the dog calm down. I keep praying a magical fence will appear around the yard and then both boy and dog could run until they were too tired to move.

Psalm 62:5-8 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.

As I recover from the medical problems I experienced in June, the Lord and I have been spending more time together and this is exactly what I needed. The waiting game has always been a hard thing for me. I am great at telling others that God is in control and everything in HIS timing, but I am not very good at following that advice for myself. I have never had this long of recovery time after having a cellulitis infection, ever. And then I remind myself, it just wasn’t the cellulitis. The lingering memory problems from the sepsis is one of the struggles I am having. I know memory problems come with age, and I totally get that, but the struggles I am having makes me feel like I have dementia some days. My husband can tell me something, and the moment I turn from him and walk away, I forget it. I then ask him about the same thing and he becomes agitated because he JUST told me about it. Now,  I am trying to repeat out loud everything he tells me in the hopes I will retain it in my memory.

Short term memory and cognitive problems are a known response to having

sepsis/septic shock in your body.  The fatigue isn’t anything new. I’ve lived and dealt with fatigue for over 10 years due to the fibro. I’m used to fatigue, it’s just that I used to be able to walk more with my cane and now everywhere I go, it’s my walker or wheelchair. I keep doing my home exercises and getting out as much as possible to build my strength. My therapists and home nurse, before discharge were happy for me and all the progress I am making, but being the person that doesn’t like being out of control, I am struggling to see the progress. Today, I woke early (8 a.m.) and haven’t taken one nap all day.  I guess I am making progress. I will be calling first of the week to have the hospital bed picked up, as now climbing our stairs is possible.

Life happens. It goes on. Even if we aren’t ready for it to go in the direction it heads. Jesus is at the helm in my life. Sometime’s as life happens, I am reminded that I truly do need to rely on HIM for everything. Sometime’s I need to slow down and take care of me.  In my mind, I know I can’t take care of others if my well is dry, but there are time’s things happen that remind me of this fact. My well is slowly filling up, and as it slowly fills back up so I have all the love I need to pour out on others, I will learn to be still and wait on the Lord.  I am forever grateful for the people the Lord places in my life to remind me that progress, no matter how imperfect, is still progress.

May you know how much Jesus Loves you~right now as you read this and always. Jesus can turn any mess in our lives into a message and any test we face into a testimony. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

 

Thanks, Dad!

Psalm 68:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.

 

Today is Father’s Day. I miss my daddy so much. I am 54 years old and I will always call him daddy. He went home to our Heavenly Father in September of 2015. Seems like just yesterday. I still remember hugging him and telling him I loved him, as I left him that day, in his home in Florida, because I couldn’t miss any more work. I knew it wouldn’t be long and he would be home where he longed to go. I think of him all the time, and want so bad to pick up the phone and just hear his voice. But I sense him every now and then, and I know he’ s keeping an eye on me from there. I know I will see him again and that will be a joyous day for sure!

I want to say thank you, daddy, for always teaching me what being a parent is. That being friends with your children isn’t because you don’t love them; it isn’t because you aren’t cheering them on to be the best person they can be; it is because you can’t be a parent to them and raise them and be their best friend. It took me many years as a parent myself to understand that. But when I was in my teens and wanted my daddy to be my friend, I just was crushed that he told me in no uncertain terms, “I’m not your pal, I’m not your buddy, I’m your dad.” Period.

And let’s face it, we can have great relationships with our parents, our fathers, but we can’t have it both ways growing up. As a child, we need our parents to set boundaries and being a friend can get sticky because friends do things with you, parents would absolutely say no to. He was very wise. Always. He taught me about Jesus. He taught me about helping others; wanting nothing in return. He taught me about life and how to get through it when all I wanted to do was give up. He taught me that giving up isn’t an option. Life isn’t fair. Get over it. Move on. He taught me what it means to respect others, especially those older than you. I never had to doubt the type of man he was, because he lived it daily. He showed me what a good work ethic was and what it meant to have one. He embodied integrity and being honest to a fault. He showed me that when you make a promise, you follow through. Your words mean something. And like me, he didn’t know how to give a “reader’s digest” version of anything. I get that from him. He taught me about so many things in the 50 years he was my daddy, that there isn’t enough space to write it all down, but I hold it dear to my heart and think of the great times we had together. I miss him so very much.

12002285_10153693477532317_59695028194444929_n IMG_20150409_185650_610 Daddy memorial

 

This message is for any person that is a father to a child(and let me be clear, anyone can be a sperm donor, but it takes a real man to be a father). To the men that step up and become a father by choice or chance, Happy Father’s Day! To the men that share those sleepless nights with others, coach their children’s little league teams, when they could be doing a thousand other things, to the daddies that hold their child’s fingers in the NICUs of the world, to the ones that are about to become a dad, Happy Father’s Day!

And to the moms, grandparents, and others that don’t have a “father” in your child’s life, this day is for you too. For the many male role-models in the lives of children, that show them how to do things most father’s do, thank you.

We have two grandchildren that do not have their “donors” in their lives. Their choice. Yes, I may be a bit bitter about it, but these children will never know that they aren’t loved and cared for because there are men in their lives that fill the gap. Maybe one day they will ask, why they don’t have a daddy and I know God will give me the wisdom to say the right words at the right time.

Psalm 103:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

And thank you to our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ our Lord, for being the Father that is always here for us, no matter what. Thank you for the unconditional love you have for each of us and the unmerited grace and mercy you shower upon us each and every day. Happy Father’s Day, Lord!

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! Right now and always!

Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony!

#HOPEALWAYSHAVE FAITH

Blessings~Carlene

 

**Defining Moments**

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.

1 John 5:14-15 NLT

The past few weeks, our church sermons have been about defining moments in our lives where you knew they were orchestrated by the Lord. Times of trials and joys and what was it that made it a defining moment for you? Did this moment in time grow your faith? Show you how much Jesus listens to you, your cries, your prayers? And would you be willing to share your testimony of what those defining moments looked like in your life?

These sermons started me thinking. What have some of the most defining moments in my life been and there are two that stand out. Oh yes, I have had more than two and I am sure at some point I will share those also, but these really rooted my faith in the Father.

I gave up my life to follow Jesus at the age of 11. I have always been someone that loves Jesus. I had drifted away from talking to him all the time, but in 2006, after many hard times, and trying to do it all on my own, not leaning into Him or focusing on His strength, not mine, he showed up in a pretty big way. If you have heard this before, please forgive the repeat, but these moments were huge for me.

I used to work for a big box retailer and part of my job that day was to count products and make sure they were scanning correctly, fixing shelf labels and enter the data into our system if errors were found. This particular afternoon, I was in one of my least favorite sections of the store. The aisle that holds all the tiny travel sizes of shampoos, toothpaste, lotions, etc.  Those are always a nightmare to count and check, but in order to have accurate counts and correct pricing, like any other item, it had to be done.

I set to the task and started counting, scanning, making notations, printing labels and things were going fairly quickly and as customers appeared in the aisles, I would stop and greet them, ask if they needed help and then continue on with this exhaustive task. One customer kept reappearing in the aisle, but something was different about her. Although she had replied several times that she didn’t need help, I felt a nudge in my heart that not only did she need compassion more than ever, the Lord was telling me to pray for her.

At that moment in my life, I loved praying for others through texts and emails but wasn’t confident about praying out loud for anyone. I always felt I would mess it up somehow, or I wouldn’t know what to say. And if you know Jesus, he doesn’t let us stay in our comfort zone for very long. He is constantly working to stretch us beyond our abilities because this is when He is our strength. He is the wisdom we need in our lives. And as futile as it was, internally I was arguing with Him. I was struggling to offer to pray. But no matter how many times I tried to focus on my job, the Lord wasn’t having any part of it and so I stood from my kneeling position and I asked once again if I could help her.

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As she started to speak, tears gently rolled down her cheek. She told me that she had a brain tumor. She was told that without the surgery, to remove the tumor, she would die, but if she chose to have the surgery, there was a 50% chance she would recover and live a long life. It was scheduled for a few days away and her family didn’t believe in Jesus or God and that she was struggling in what to do. And then she apologized for burdening me with her problems.

I asked for her name. She told me her name was Robyn. I introduced myself to her, although clearly she already knew my name as my name badge was there for the world to see. And then, with a lot of trepidation and internal fear, I asked if I could pray for her. She said that would be great, she always welcomed prayers. But I wasn’t sure she understood my request. So, I went onto say, may I pray for you right now at this moment? Again, she agreed. I asked if I could place my hand on her shoulder and she said yes (by now a small crowd had gathered in this aisle, listening to every word) and I asked God to give me the words. I don’t recall what the words were, but I prayed with her and over her. We hugged and she cried. There were many tears that day. Before she left, she told me that earlier in the day, she had cried out to the Lord and said, Lord if you are in agreement with me having this surgery, I need a sign. I need to know I am doing what should be done. She told me she knew she would be okay and slowly walked away.

I never saw her again. But I know she is living her life to the fullest. And that was the day, I stopped letting fear take over and started listening to the nudges from the Holy Spirit. I think about that moment as if suspended in time. I can see her face, I can feel how I used to think – Why me? Why can’t someone else do it? – and I still remember the blessing of being able to walk in obedience and do what was asked of me, even if I did it with a little bit of fear.  As for my work that day, I did complete it, but with a lot more joy in my heart than when I had started.

The enemy will do everything in his power to squash us, our faith, our relationship with Jesus. He will create doubt within us if we let him. Don’t.  Trust that no matter what Jesus calls you to do, he will give you everything you need to accomplish it!

Christmas tree stand

 

The second most defining moment had to do with our Christmas tree. Our son, now 23, was 11 years old and he loved everything to do with Christmas, but especially putting up the tree. During this season in our lives, there were no extra funds for anything extra. Gifts were made for our children and maybe a few special items from a dollar store.

The night we drag the Christmas tree box out of storage, sort the branches by size and reach into the box to get the plastic tree stand out, his boyish grin, all excited with anticipation, falls to the floor and sadness overtakes his entire face. His shoulders are slumped down and he is about to give up because the plastic stand was old and somehow had broken in several pieces while in storage.  He knew our situation. He knew we didn’t have money to buy a new tree with a stand or a stand that we could use, but I have always believed duct tape is the only tool I need. His father and I were separated and his father lived far away, so coming up with a solution to mend this stand, was forming in my mind, but I knew this was a way to teach him about faith.

I assured him that not all hope was lost. I asked him to retrieve a small board from my closet and the roll of duct tape. I was sure we could fix it. He tried to be brave and not let me see his tears and said, “it’s okay mom, we don’t need a tree this year.” My heart sank. I asked if he believed in the power of prayer and if he believed that God could make this tree stand. He said maybe. So, as I begin to tape together the stand, I prayed to ask God to help me. I knew that for my child to believe, he needed something tangible that he could see. And God knew that too.

After several moments of attempting to tape it together and then fashioning it into something that resembled a tree stand, we secured it to the small wooden board. Again, I asked him, if you believe in your heart that Jesus is God and God can do anything, will you pray with me and let’s ask God to help us help our little tree stand, with all the ornaments and lights on it. With the star on top. For God to strengthen this heavy tree, so we could celebrate Jesus and His birthday. AND if the cat, went exploring, as she always did when the tree was put together, that the broken stand would hold her ground. So we bowed our heads and held onto that board and we prayed. We also thanked God for his love for his children and for his help.

I have no doubt it was all God. That little stand and that tree with heavy ceramic ornaments and many strands of light and a very inquisitive cat,  held up until the tree was finally tossed out as it had many years of use (approximately 10 total, 4 with the mended stand). And his faith grew. He knew that he could go to prayer to God about anything, anytime and God would listen.

As our son, has grown into a man, he knows that sometime’s God says yes, sometimes no and sometime’s wait. But I know as a mother, that was one of his defining moments and definitely one of mine; I am so blessed by the love Jesus shows every day to each of us.

These moments remind me in my darkest times, that God is always with me. That I don’t have to be perfect or have all the answers, because HE is and HE does. It is my responsibility to trust Him in everything and for everything.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! You are His child. He is always listening. He can and will use any mess as a message to others and any test you go through as a testimony to His glory! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

Tender Mercies

Mercies New Every Morning

Just as the Lord’s mercies are new every morning, I am finding my compassion and mercy must be just as new every day and the events from the previous day must be filed in the crevices of my brain as another day done.

It is so easy to hold onto hurts, hangups, and insecurities and let them fester in our minds. If we dwell on events that have happened days before or years before, we are not living as Jesus Christ wants us to.

Today was a difficult day in our home. For all of us. It didn’t start out that way, most days never do but throw in a child that can meltdown in a moment, and heated words and tempers flared toward one another and you usually have a recipe for disaster. I was reminded of this as my husband attempted to usher our grandson into the house after he climbed down the steps of his school bus with little success. He’s a runner and he loves being outside. After many months of  a cold winter, it’s understandable that he doesn’t want to come into the house, but not only is he not old enough to be outside alone, he has a tendency to run as soon as he can and chasing him around the house or down the street to catch him and encourage him to come inside is less than ideal. It usually requires one of us carrying him in, kicking and screaming, literally.  And as usual, if there are cars passing by or people they may think he is being hurt or abducted. In today’s world, there is always a fear that someone will think that.  And the stares are just as bad as if someone actually says something. Nothing was said, but there were stares and immediately you are on the defense. Even if you don’t want to be. No one, unless they live with an autistic child, can understand the stares or unspoken comments just lingering there.

While we try to calm him and explain why he can’t come outside, the person passing by makes her way to our front door. I opt to be the person to open the door and am ready to matter-of-factly let this person know, everything is ok; he lives here. When she just comes to tell me, I totally understand what you are going through. My child is autistic. At that moment all defensiveness subsides and I am so thankful she chose to come back and speak those words. She stood on my porch for many minutes and we talked about how difficult it is and shook hands knowing that she is not alone in this journey either.

That one event changed the course of our day for all of us. Everyone was on edge for the rest of the day. But we didn’t have to be. We could have chosen to let that moment go and continue with our day; however, no one told our grandson that it was over. He managed to stay in his defiant mood for most of the day. Nothing was going as he wanted, so, therefore, he did what he does. He screamed. He cried. He slammed himself into the wooden gates that separate rooms. He threw a tantrum in the vehicle because he wasn’t getting his way.  I’ll admit there are times like today that I cry inwardly because I know that some of it he can control and other moments the overload is just too much and that is the only way he can react because he is lost inside himself.

We go through this so much, that it is part of our normal. We don’t like to go through it, but some days we get through with showing mercy and grace.  And then there are days like today when a rough day seems to hit all at once and nothing said or done, makes a difference. So I pray, and I seek the Lord. I pray for wisdom and clarity, give me the right words Lord. Help me; help us.

His routine on Tuesday’s is so different from his other days of the week, that right now, Tuesday’s and the weekend days are the hardest. On Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, these are his days of joy. He goes to ABA therapy in the afternoon and he loves going and working on new things and learning new ways. But not on Tuesday. On Tuesday he goes to Speech Therapy. He has been going to speech therapy for over 2 1/2 years.  I know there are days he doesn’t want to go. He wants a break. And I will admit, there are days I don’t want to have to go to one more therapy session, but it has helped him so much to develop his language and speak, that we won’t quit or give up or give in.

Three years ago, he didn’t speak. He was nonverbal. He didn’t make eye contact or engage with others. He was in his own little world and very rarely were we let in. Now he wants us to play with him. He loves learning. Putting puzzles together. Counting and reciting his ABC’s. He loves school and although he is developmentally behind his peers, he is catching up. And one day he will get there. I cling to that hope. I cling to the day that his words will be clear and communication will no longer be a problem. The funniest thing is that when he is mad, his words are very concise and clear. It’s only when he gets in a hurry to tell us something, that we struggle with understanding his speech.

We were concerned about how he would react to his new baby sister. Would he hurt her? Would he understand that she is fragile? Would he love her or at least like her? We had nothing to worry about.  He worries when she cries and he tries to soothe her by talking to her or giving her a pacifier. He is so in love with her. And yes, we still have to watch him like a hawk, because there have been times he wants to pick her up from her bassinet and soothe her cries. He loves holding her and rocking her. I know he will always be a great big brother to her and how lucky she is.

As he became sleepy tonight, he made his way to each of us and in a small tearful voice told each one of us he loves us. And as we hugged him, we reassured him we love you too buddy.  Bless his heart. He doesn’t like having bad days either and at least he knows that our love will never change, no matter what his behavior is. He taught me a lot about forgiveness, by saying those three little words.

God’s mercies are new every morning. Ours should be too. We can’t change what happens in the past, whether it’s 5 minutes ago or 5 years ago, but we can change how we respond.

Now, as I sit here and I watch him sleeping, he looks so peaceful. The peace we had hoped would be part of our day, is, just not as we had thought it would be. He’s all boy. He wants to play outdoors, run wild and have fun. He likes picking up sticks and breaking them in half, He tries to help rake the yard and clear all the sticks that have fallen over the winter and early spring storms. Yes, it has made more work for us, but he tries. He hates being indoors, but being outdoors requires preparation. There has to be several of us with him as there are no fences or barriers from him going into the street and he still has no sense of danger.

My challenge to you is this: the next time you are out in your neighborhood or at the store or a local restaurant, don’t be the first to assume that a child is out of control and parents need to take care of that child. They may be doing the best they can with the situation they are given. And remember, God gives us grace daily. Not because we have earned it, but simply because He loves us.

Our charge by the Lord is to love Him and love others. My prayer is that I show the love of Jesus to all I meet and when I fail, grace and mercy will carry me through.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You ~ right now and always. Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

 

Acceptance Is Needed

Genesis 1:27 New Living Translation (NLT)
27 So God created human beings[a] in his own image.
In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

April is Autism Awareness Month, but what I propose is let’s change it to Autism Acceptance month!   Awareness is okay, but acceptance is what is needed.  There are so many autistic individuals that hear ‘there isn’t a cure’ or ‘we don’t know what causes autism’ and for many individuals on the autism spectrum, they don’t want to be cured; they want to be recognized as individuals who have neurological differences and their brains are wired differently, but there isn’t anything wrong with them.  And guess what, they’re right. autism symbol

Tyson is still the same boy we loved before he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. He has had many challenges and he will, most likely, face challenges as he grows older because of the autism, but having this neurological disorder doesn’t make him less than someone without it, it just means he needs extra help.

When Tyson was diagnosed in July of 2016, he was diagnosed as level 2, meaning he would require substantial support. He has made great strides through intensive home and outpatient therapy, preschool and has added ABA to his list of supports. He no longer needs PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) or sign language to communicate as he has found his voice. We are so thankful for and happy for him that he has. Communication is a big component of Autism. Some people are nonverbal indefinitely, other’s use visual supports and sign language or ACC devices to communicate.

sample pecs

Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) is an umbrella term that encompasses the communication methods used to supplement or replace speech or writing for those with impairments in the production or comprehension of spoken or written language.

Social cues is another big area where many autistic individuals have a difficult time. Depending on the individual they may learn how to ‘act’ like their peers and try to blend in; for others slang language or sarcasm is totally lost on them and they don’t understand why you can’t say what you mean, instead of ‘beating around the bush.’ Just be straight forward and say it! For Tyson, he is a very social person when he knows the people, but when we are in a waiting room or a store, he tends to hide and shy away from people. Too many people cause him to be afraid or have anxiety. Even places we go all the time, like outpatient speech therapy.

Sensory processing comes into play for a lot of individuals on the Autism Spectrum. Everyone is different. Bright lights, loud noises, the hum of fluorescent lights, hair dryers, vacuum cleaners, lots of people talking in a restaurant, too many people in one place –  these are just some of the things people can be overwhelmed by and if they become overstimulated or overloaded, a meltdown may occur.

Our Autism Home

Meltdowns are totally different than temper tantrums. A temper tantrum is a reaction to not getting something you want and a person throwing a fit looking for a reaction or response to it.  A meltdown is a neurological response to overload and they have no control over it happening. A meltdown looks different for every individual.

Stimming is a term that most people don’t understand or understand the reason why many autistic individuals stim. Lots of neurotypical people stim but usually in a more quiet way.  For instance, if you are the type of person that gets nervous in a meeting at work, you may tap your foot or click your pen. But most NT people know when to stop. For autistic individuals, stimming is a way to self-soothe when everything becomes too much to handle. Some people flap their hands, jump up and down, spin around, hum, make noises only known to them and their loved ones, dance and the list goes on. For every individual on the spectrum, there are just as many different ways to stim. The only time I have stopped Tyson from any particular stim is if he will hurt himself. Then redirection is necessary.

The one saying that holds true in the Autism community is “If you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism.” There are families with multiple people that have autism and not everyone in the family will deal with the same challenges or respond the same way.  Each case is individual.

The last thing I want to say about this today is please be aware that parents/grandparents/caregivers of children/adults of autism don’t have all the answers, they have the answers that work for their specific human. And sometime’s they don’t even have those. It is very exhausting to fight a system to get services, some due to long waiting lists or fighting with the insurance company to approve it or finding services that will be approved.

There are many different types of therapies that can help people on the spectrum, but not every person needs every therapy available and not every therapy available helps every person. To date, there are no medications for autism. There are many co-morbid conditions that some people with autism have, such as ADHD or anxiety/depression and there are medications for those; as well as many holistic approaches to help people.

The Lord God created all of us.  None of us are exactly alike. All of us are “wired” the way He chose for us to be. Please think about that the next time you meet an individual with who is Autistic.

I know I have only touched on the basics of Autism, but this is only the first of the month.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You! Jesus can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony! #HopeAlwaysHave Faith

Many blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

JOY

1 Thessalonians 5:15-19 New International Version (NIV)
15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

19 Do not quench the Spirit.

Joy comes from the Lord. Joy does not come or happen because of our circumstances and thank the Heavens for that.  If we depended on life’s circumstances to provide Joy in our lives, most times we would be sadly disappointed.

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Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  It is not something you can turn on and off at will. It is a gift from the Holy Spirit.  I hear so many people say that they can’t find their joy or have no idea what joy looks like because their lives are so hard or difficult.  Joy has nothing to do with any of that.

It took me many years of prayerful time with the Lord and leaning on more mature Christians who know the Word and could counsel me in Godly ways to understand Joy isn’t something that happens.  It is just a part of who we are. If you are a believer in Jesus and profess to be a Christian and live, walk, eat and breathe a Christ-like existence, you have Joy. Period.  There will be times you can’t seem to grasp it. Times you don’t feel very joyful at all, but it’s there.

If I depended on life to grant me the gift of joy, I would be hard pressed to find it most days.  Happiness comes and goes but the Joy of the Lord is forever.

The past few weeks have been blessings and blessings with challenges or opportunities, I guess if I am being my optimistic, positive self. Our fifth grandchild, our second granddaughter blessed our lives. I call her my little peanut.  She is so tiny and precious. Just weighing a little over 7 pounds. She came into this world, with a good set of lungs and even a little bit of stubbornness. She loves when its time to eat; a little bit of a guzzler, can’t seem to get enough, but refuses to burp, which has been quite a challenge. But she doesn’t cry unless she’s hungry or needs to be changed. She has bright eyes and loves to scoot around on her back when lying in her bassinet. She almost reminds me of a “game-spinner”.  It doesn’t matter what position you lay her on her back, as she gets settled, she usually ends up facing the other way and she is just two weeks old today!

Being able to be in the delivery room, while our daughter gave birth, was so joyous of an occasion. The first time around with her son, Tyson, my other little buddy, that you have read about, I was banished out of her sight. Because I am a crier. I can cry at the drop of a hat. It can be something as simple as a cute commercial on television or something that isn’t even real.  With Tyson, for me, seeing my first-born child giving birth, I was so overcome with emotions, tears were streaming down my face and she couldn’t handle seeing those tears and I was given strict instructions, “Mom, if you are going to cry, you’re going have to back up, I don’t want to see you crying!” So, even though I was in the room to witness his birth, I wasn’t right by her side.

With our tiny Emmalin, I sat and held her hand, bound and determined, that no matter what, I would not let the tears spill out. And I held them at bay.  This time it was watching a miracle.  The miracle of watching our daughter give birth naturally (all the while, observing the epidural not work, pain meds do nothing to alleviate her pain of the harrowing back labor she was experiencing) with pure love, sheer grit, and determination to bring her daughter into view, was one of the most beautiful sights, this grandma’s eyes have ever seen! Praying and thanking Jesus for allowing me to watch and helping me to conceal my tears of joy. And realizing what a strong woman our daughter is. Even though she usually disagrees on being strong, this time she was strong and earned the respect of her parents, her older sisters, and her brother.

Ty & Emma

Big brother holding baby sister/Ty & Emma

As our family is growing, and we are learning new routines, Tyson is doing is best to be a good big brother. There are many challenges that go along with bringing a baby home to a home with a toddler that has had the rule of the territory for four and a half years. And while he proclaims to everyone and anyone, that’s “his baby”, he doesn’t understand why she can’t get on the floor and play with him or why he isn’t allowed to carry her around like a rag doll or why it’s not a good idea to poke her with his fingers in her face.

As we are ever vigilant, hyper-vigilance has become our new norm when he is awake as we have no idea what he may or may not do next. The jealousy of a new baby isn’t as noticeable as I thought it might be, because his mom and my husband and I are making special times for him too and there are many days you will find the baby in her arms, while she is sitting on the couch and him right beside them as close as he can get.  As with everything new for him, it will take some time for him to realize how “babies” actually work. He doesn’t comprehend why she can’t share goldfish crackers with him, but I think it’s great that he wants to share with her, just the same.

I am doing my best to hope and pray that the similarities I notice with Emmalin and Tyson are because they are siblings and not for any other reason, but it has always been on the forefront of my mind if she too will have some or all of the special needs he has and I continually pray that whatever needs she has, God, will continue to equip us to care for them as they need.

As an update for Tyson, he is thriving at his ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy sessions. He loves going and right now he is attending 3 afternoons a week after he gets home from school.  On days when the weather closes the center, he is sad and doesn’t understand why he can’t go. As we continue to add more structure to his day, his aggressive behaviors and sensory meltdowns are not as bad. Instead of 6 hours a day dealing with them, some days it may only be a couple of hours to only 30 minutes. What a lifesaver this has been for all of us; as well as changing to ADHD medications that are working better for him than the ones he was previously taking.  We have also found, that playing with dominoes that his great-grandmother gifted him last year, can usually keep him focused and entertained for a while, without bouts of throwing or screaming.

Galatians 5:22 New Living Translation (NLT)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

May you know how much Jesus Loves you~right now and always! He can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony.  #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene