My Catherine the Great

Proverbs 31:11-31 English Standard Version (ESV)
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[a] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[b]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates

She is beautiful inside and out.

She is loving and caring.

She is kind and compassionate.

She is fiercely protective of those she loves and cares about.

She is full of passion for what she believes in and always stands up for her beliefs.

She is strong and does not easily back down.

She is determined and does not quit, that is not an option and she will find her way around any obstacle in her path.

She is an artist with a flair for repurposing items that people see no value in. She brings old things back to life.

She is a great listener and works toward a solution, rather than complain about a problem.

She is an amazing mom of three college graduates who are changing the world around them.

She is a wife, a mom,  an aunt, a sister, and a daughter.

She is an emergency 911 dispatcher who works more hours than should be humanly possible. The first voice you might hear, full of calm and reserve as she manages 500 things at once.

She is a former school bus driver that loved her riders as if they were her own children.

She is an animal lover and considers them family, not just pets.

She never has enough time to take care of herself, she is always caring for others and burning the candle at both ends.

She is wise beyond her years and has seen many things most people will never have to see.

She is faithful and will celebrate 29 years of marriage this month to her loving husband.

She was a cheerleading mom and advisor when her daughter was school age.

She loves her community and has a great tribe that she holds dear and close to her heart.

But one of the best things she is…..she is my sister. And I love her with all my heart and soul. Today is her birthday. I don’t see her as often as I would like, but I hope she knows how very proud I am of her, her accomplishments, which are too many to mention. I know she is always a phone call away. Our family is very blessed indeed!

Cathy

Catherine, I love you sis and I pray that today your birthday will be all you hope for and more! You deserve it! Much love~Carlene

 

May you know how much Jesus Loves You-right in this moment-right where you are! Jesus can turn any mess into a message of hope. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all!

 

 

 

 

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He is Lost

Psalm 56:8 New Living Translation (NLT)
8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

 

I’ve shed many tears in the past several months. We all have. And I cry out to Jesus a hundred times a day seeking guidance, wisdom, clarity, and discernment. I cry because the once happy child we love that lives in our home and most definitely in our hearts is missing in action. And the child that can’t tell us what’s wrong, has become angrier by the minute. We don’t know why, but he has. It’s so difficult to watch the decline in his moods and behaviors.

Tyson and Me
A moment of rest for T and Me

The words, “No!”, “That’s not okay!”, “That’s not acceptable.”, “We don’t do that.” fall on deaf ears. The constant repetition of trying to explain to this beautiful boy that it is not okay to hit, kick, scratch, punch, bite and be mean to others  or throw toys, plates, cups or any item he chooses to use as a weapon to hurt someone or break windows, electronic items; it’s not okay and he can’t do that. Trying to explain to him, once you have his attention (looking into each other’s eyes and asking him to stop, let’s calm down, dry his tears) that not only do we not want to be hurt, but we don’t want him to get hurt either is an everyday task.

He has always been hyper, ever since he started walking at ten months. He went from scooting to pulling himself up to standing and walking. He totally skipped out on crawling.  Even now, if he is playing on the floor, he rolls or scoots or somersaults his way through the room, unless he’s walking on his tiptoes or running at breakneck speed.  He has one speed and it’s all or nothing. And the nothing only happens when he is given medications to help him sleep.  Even when he is beyond exhaustion, sleep does not come without prescribed medications. His brain never shuts down.

Some friends, suggest putting him in timeout. That would be amazing if we could get him to sit still long enough to accomplish that. Today, I put myself in timeout. Sitting on the opposite side of the safety gate on the steps. He was still being supervised, but I needed a good cry. Trying to remain strong all the time, and not knowing when an outburst will occur is heartwrenching. The child that used to love to play with blocks, legos, cars flying down his racetrack, counting and having fun, I don’t know where he is. The child that loved to paint with watercolors, scribble all over the papers and practice using his scissors to cut, he’s lost.  I see him stand in front of me, but he’s not the same. The little boy that I could scoop up in my arms, squeeze him tight and we could count or recite the alphabet and talk to one another, I don’t see him much anymore. I see a child full of anger, aggression and for lack of another way to describe it totally overloaded in his mind all the time. Shutting down the television, turning off video devices, taking toys away and never giving them back, doesn’t seem to faze him. The music that used to lull him to sleep, while being rocked, he cries and doesn’t want the music very often.

The night terrors are not as bad as they used to be, now we deal with daytime terrors. Fully awake, but he can’t tell us what’s wrong. Yes, he has amassed many words, but unless he wants something, answering questions is still yes and no for the most part. He can answer to what his name is, the street he lives on, sometime’s the city and who lives with him.

He has been up, five times since being put to sleep tonight. Whimpering.  “Please hold me.” So I hold him, we sway back and forth. As he falls back asleep, and I think it’s okay to lie him down. Sleep eludes. The minute I laid him down, whimpers, “please hold me maw.” I’ve decided sleep will come for me once he boards the bus to preschool in the morning.

And as  I ruminate about all the changes in the past year for him, I often wonder what happened? Have all the seizures he has had, accompanied by medications known to cause aggressive behaviors and irritability caused this drastic change in my little buddy? Is it the medication he is prescribed for the aggressiveness with the autism? Is it a combination of the medications? But which is worse, having multiple seizures often or living with the behaviors? I have no answers and the specialists don’t seem to know either.

I’m considering everything and planning on going back to Essential Oil use to help relax and calm him down. It worked when he was younger, maybe that is a missing link. I know there are supplements that have been used to help and maybe it’s just possible that is what he is missing.  The developmental pediatrician and his neurologist ask if I can videotape his behavior, but when you are the target of the behavior, grabbing your smartphone and turning on video doesn’t occur to me. Keeping him safe and others safe is my first priority.

It has been recommended to talk to an ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapist and see if that will help. I didn’t want to face that fact. But now, I must. We have to for him. Not knowing if his insurance will help with the cost or if we have to cut more corners than we have to pay for it, one more stress to be strong for. I do know, as tears stream down my face, I will do as much as I possibly can to help him. Loving him is the easy part. Knowing what to do next, and figuring everything out by trial and error is the worst. For him, as well as us.

I sit and wonder daily how difficult it must be that the only way that he can cope is to exhibit the behaviors he has. I wonder if the noise, lack of noise, the lights on and off, what is it that makes turn his world and our’s upside down? Can we reach him? I have faith and belief that God would not have let him come this far, only to lose it all and have to start over again.

Two years ago, there were two words. Very little interaction with others and the playtime was limited to large blocks his tiny hands could hold. His vocabulary has increased. He does engage with others, he can hold your gaze for more than a mere second, but the joy of playing, it’s lost. If he can’t throw a toy, he has no desire to play with it.

A  year ago, he was flourishing in his preschool class. Following a visual schedule, completing tasks, using listening skills and then midway through the year, it all changed. Once he started having his seizures and had to go on medications, he changed or they changed him.

And now, I look for glimpses of that little boy that laughed and giggled, would jump and spin for the pure joy of doing it. I miss him terribly.

My good friend asked if I know what causes all this. I don’t. I know that he lives every day with many Neurological disorders and maybe right now he is doing the best he can. I remind myself that Autism Spectrum Disorder has many challenges. I’m learning that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder isn’t just about focus, there are many symptoms I never knew were linked to ADHD. His Sensory Processing Disorder seems heightened more than ever and although his tonic-clonic (formerly grand mal) seizures are held at bay by the AED’s (Anti-Epileptic Drugs) he still has absence seizures, and as much as I would love to say he is just daydreaming as suggested by his Neurologist, I am not sure T even knows what daydreaming is or what it means. He’s 4 with a language disorder.

The one and the only area that his language is truly understood is when he talks to you about vacuum cleaners. That is what he fixates on. He has had toy ones, they don’t last very long. He’s rough on them. Two “real” vacuums in our home have succumbed to his mighty strength. He sweeps for a short period and then while pretending, he picks this heavy appliance up as if it was a feather and tosses it a few feet from him. And when he starts to do that, it is put away. He clings to it and has to be pried away from it kicking and screaming, “my sweep”.  Of all the things that he could fixate on, that was the farthest thing from my mind.

I’ve been silent about this. Not wanting to face that we have to find a way to help him. We have to teach him that the way he reacts and acts is not the best way for him. And we have to learn how to do that in his world. Because in our world, we are lost, too.

Lord Jesus, you know the struggles we are facing. Please help T and help us help him. We know how blessed we are to have him with us. We thank you for giving us the gift of this young child and trusting us to guide him. Guide us. Lead us. We want to see him bloom in only ways you know he can. Forgive us when we become frustrated and upset. Remind us that he too is frustrated. Thank you, God. In Your Name Jesus. Amen.

James 1:2-4 New Living Translation (NLT)

2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right at this moment~as you are!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Until next time~blessings, Carlene

 

 

 

Broken Pieces

I’m trying hard to comprehend the need for Tyson to break and destroy objects that he comes in contact with. Is it because it’s the natural course in the life of a toddler? The curiosity of how things are made and assembled? Or simply the pure joy of seeing toys, priceless mementos of a lifetime ago break apart, or does his need for sensory input figure into the equation? love-1221444_640

I learned long ago as a younger parent to not ask the Lord for patience; inevitably that required walking out many trials involving the art of patience, only developed as you learn to maneuver the pitfalls and blessings of parenthood. In my 30’s, it seems I was more apt and skilled to tune out the chaos. As I’ve grown older and presumably wiser, my hope was I would be much more mellow than I am.

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Some things require ongoing instruction; He’s teaching me to live in the Peace only He can give. To seek wisdom and discernment in areas that although familiar to when our children were young; they never seemed to have this much high-strung energy that never stops!

And in the same instant that something has been quashed, there’s this ray of sunshine that gleams thru and says, “I wuv you.” And sees my sad frown turned upside down, leaps in my lap and hugs me tight.

I talk to him about the broken objects and try and explain why we don’t break things. Some days, he says,”sorry” other days there is no comprehension that a mistake was made.

And I forgive.

I think of the many times in my life, I have done or said something that grieved Jesus, and yet, He loves every broken piece of me and forgives all.

He doesn’t hold our sins over us but lovingly rebukes and corrects us and allows us to live under His mercy and grace.

At the end of my walk here on earth, I want to know that thru all the brokenness and struggles, I learned to love and forgive like Jesus. To overlook offenses and show mercy. To not be the one pointing the finger, but the one saying, things are just things. People matter more.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27 NIV

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right where you are in this moment.

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

Remembering Daddy

My father went home to the Lord on September 18, 2015. It seems like only yesterday that I heard the words, he’s gone. I miss him every single day and think about him all the time. Wishing I could pick up the phone or turn on my Skype and talk to him. But I have to say that out of all the holidays, Father’s Day is one of the most difficult. Our family is in several states and getting together for any holiday is difficult, so missing him at Christmastime, isn’t the same as missing him on a day set aside to honor him.

 

Constantly being reminded by marketing ads that Father’s Day is near and seeing all types of retail products to entice people to purchase gifts for their dads have made it even more difficult this year.  I have a hole in my heart, that will always be there.  As  my father’s life on earth was ending, he was ready. He knew he was going home to Jesus and he was at peace about it. And our entire family misses him something awful, but we too have peace in our hearts, it’s grief that comes at you from nowhere and knocks you down. There is no timeline for grief. I think the reason it hurts our hearts so much is that when you love someone so much, it’s hard to redirect that love when the person is no longer with you.

I had the privilege of having my father for 50 years. He was my superhero. He didn’t need a cape. He was a man of integrity, put others needs always above his own and he was always ready to help anyone in need, even if that meant the last dollar in his pocket or, literally, the shirt off of his back. His rules were simple. Lead by example. Honor and respect your elders. Be kind. Always be honest. Love unconditionally. Do as your told. No backtalk. Pick up after yourself, do your chores. He wasn’t a complicated person, although from time to time he did make things complicated because it seemed like he always had to have the last word.

I think of the many ways that my father and I are alike and there is no doubt I am his daughter. I pray daily that I honor him in how I live and in how I not only value honesty but will not tolerate people being dishonest. I have no room for it and dislike when I hear people say “it’s just a little white lie”… A lie is just that. Big or small, doesn’t matter.

Daddy & Tyson
Daddy and Tyson

He taught me about Jesus. He modeled a life of service to others. He taught me its ok to laugh and cry at life. Life isn’t fair, you do your best with what you have and you thank God for those blessings. He taught me parenting isn’t easy and you can’t be your child’s friend and parent all at the same time. He taught me that bias and prejudice create hate; love all. Let God deal with avenging.

He has always had my heart, loved me even when I wasn’t very loving and forgave much. We shared a special love of being there and helping others. That’s why its so sad that I have very few pictures of him and me together. I was usually behind the lens.

He lived his life his way and on his terms and he went out the same way.

Daddy, I miss you and love you so much, but  I know I will see you again.

Happy Fathers Day to all fathers!

 

But among you, it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:26‭-‬28 NLT

May you know how much Jesus loves you-right where you are in this moment! #HopeAlwayaHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

Family Time

This past week, we loaded up our Yukon and drove 989 miles in searing heat with no air, except for the wind whipping around in the truck with our windows down. As humid and hot as it was, and all the perspiring going on, we should have melted the pounds away.

When you travel with a child that has special needs and an adult with respiratory problems, you feel like you’re packing the entire house for a weekly excursion. Loading the truck with suitcases, a medicine bag for several people, mobility devices and a bag of toys/books to keep everyone satisfied….checking lists off twice, it’is not as easy as it sounds. It takes almost an hour to load everything and then you pray you didn’t forget anything.

Our family, except for our daughter and fiancee, secured in our seatbelts and car seats made the normal 15-18 hour trip in 21 hours. Longest 21 hours of my life so far.

I love the state of Florida and someday when I’m old and gray, I hope we can call Florida home again. Ok, I’m old and I do have some gray strands peeking through, but Tyson is doing so well in Ohio and is all set up with his therapists and specialists that moving is very daunting. I’m not sure I could talk his mom into leaving her friends in Ohio and I know I couldn’t handle being too far away from him or our other grandchildren.

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Tyson loved the pool and we tried to go every day while there. At first, he was hesitant, but once in, getting him out was almost impossible. His Uncle Mike made it fun, taught him to close his eyes and hold his nose to go under the water. He loved jumping from the steps with his swim vest on and spinning in the water. This was a great way to expend his energy before our nightly dinners and almost always ensured he would drift off to dreamland.

When your only living parent lives almost a thousand miles away, you cherish the time you have and if you are even a little bit emotional like me, find it hard to say goodbye. I kept my tears inside and thought about how blessed I am to still have our mother here and so very thankful to have spent the 7 days with her. Great memories were made and all of her neighbors doted and loved on Ty. Providing him with toys to use while there and yummy snacks any toddler would love.

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We visited a great Thai rolled ice cream shop in downtown St. Petersburg called Ice Burg. We watched as they made the specialty treats. It was worth the drive downtown just to try it out! Very filling for low prices.

We ventured to a fenced in play area near Gulfport beach in Pinellas County and Ty was able to access a small beach area with sand and shells. For the past few months all he has talked about was going to the beach and building sand castles but as it turned out, that was the only beach he would visit. He didn’t want anymore to do with beaches only the pool. Maybe one day he will relish the sand and surf.

You never realize how much you miss your mom’s home cooking until you are eating it. We ate out twice while there..the rest of the time was savoring the smells wafting in the air as she prepared meals. My mom is an amazing chef!

As we embark on the road trip home, I’m so very thankful to Jesus for keeping us safe. We’ve been on the road for over 8 hours now and thankful my husband and sweetheart is good at driving and navigation; he used to drive for a living.

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The biggest takeaway from this post. Enjoy the time you have with your family. Love one another, laugh and cherish each moment you are blessed to have.

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Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
Romans 12:9 NLT

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right now wherever you are!

Blessings~Carlene

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Making Memories & Learning

Philippians 4:13 New Living Translation (NLT)
13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

 

Earlier today I realized as Tyson was dumping toy bins and playing, that in a week, he will be home all day long. And I started to panic, thinking about the messes and then someone reminded me that I need to look at things a little differently. Don’t look at it as just a mess, but making memories.  I know that’s how I should view it. It’s extremely difficult to remember that, all the time.

Tyson and Bee
Tyson playing with his musical bee

I started getting our learning materials in order so he can continue to expand and learn on concepts he is currently learning and maintaining some type of routine and structure so that when school starts back up in the fall, it won’t be so hard to get back into the swing of things. At speech therapy for the past several weeks, he is trying to learn the concepts “in” “out” “over” “under” “next to” “open” “close”. Asking where, what, and who questions are not as easy for Ty as we would hope, but each week he makes progress. Speaking the words are hit and miss. The word ‘in’ is easy. On and off are simple enough, because they are short syllable words. Last week, he finally could say the word open.  We have been working on the word open since he was 2 1/2. Using the sign with our hands as if we were opening a book and showing him what the ‘O’ sound looks like with our mouth.  What finally did it for him shows me and his speech therapist that all of our minds process words and sounds differently.  She had an ink pen and he was saying pen very well. She made the ‘O’ sound and then said pen-pointing to the pen. He finally got it and said ‘open’.  It took something so different for just that one word, but now he understands how to say it, what it means and the sign language for opening something. It’s been a long 11/2 years for him to understand.  Beginning and ending sounds are something he struggles with.  “V” comes out like “B”.

He fixates on two objects and will watch numerous YouTube videos of these objects. You will never guess in a million years so I will spare you the guessing game. #1-Vacuums #2-Ceiling Fans. Every time we go anywhere that has vacuum cleaners or ceiling fans, he wants to stop and look at them, check out all the details and if the ceiling fans are not turned on, he wants to know why.  I am not surprised by the ceiling fans. They spin and he loves anything that spins. Being obsessed with the vacuum cleaners has developed over time. He DOES NOT like when they are turned on. The sound is too loud and painful for him. He has noise canceling headphones that he wears when we have ours turned on at home, but he loves it so much when it is off, we literally have to pry it out of his hands. He will unwrap and rewrap the power cord as many times as we let him, sometimes for hours if we allowed it. We have learned when we are finished using the vacuum, it is put up right away, otherwise, a meltdown will occur and it may take hours before he is calm enough to talk to.  In the stores, we must avoid the vacuum cleaner displays or he cries and screams.  If they are unavoidable, we have learned the battle is not worth the outcome. We stroll down the aisle and let him see them, point out the colors, features and then we say goodbye.  I never thought in all my life, I would be talking to inanimate objects, but it makes him happy and keeps him calm.

When the weather is nice and not pouring rain, like it has done for the past several days, his mommy and her fiancée take him for walks in the neighborhood. He loves taking walks and playing outside. I miss being able to do this activity with him. I do have my walker with a seat on it, but it’s difficult to hold onto his harness and the walker at the same time. Somehow we will figure it out. Being outside, playing and walking, is not only healthy for him, but it helps to reduce the hyperactivity associated with the ADHD he deals with, along with the medications he is on. I hate the fact he has to be on medications, but for him to stay focused and not out of control, right now they are needed. I am very thankful for his AED medications. He hasn’t had a seizure for almost two weeks, which is great! Dealing with Epilepsy, I am learning is being ever vigilant because he has a mixture of different types of seizures and there is no trigger that we know of, at this time, so you never know when one will happen. AED is the abbreviation for anti-epileptic drugs. I often forget not everyone knows the terms or abbreviations I use.

Today was a good day for Tyson. He was excited when his bus picked him up this morning and played most of the afternoon, watched some videos and spun around until I was dizzy just watching him.

I know that we have to keep his mind entertained as well as having just good old-fashioned playtime.  Repetition is key for him learning and recalling things. He is very visually oriented and I have found a great site to get products from that will help him to learn in a fun way.  I love TheAutismHelper page on Teachers Pay Teachers. If you have Pre-K through 6th grade and love someone on the Autism Spectrum, I highly recommend checking out what she has to offer. There are many resources that I have purchased in the past, as well as some magnificent downloads for free.

I thank Jesus every day that he entrusted Tyson to our family and I pray daily that He will guide me and give me strength when it seems like too much to handle. I know that HE is my strength. Jesus will lead me and guide me, I just need to remember to listen and follow His lead.

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May you know how much Jesus Loves You~right where you are at this moment!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

Blessed to be a Mom

Proverbs 6:20-23 The Message (MSG)

20-23 Good friend, follow your father’s good advice;
don’t wander off from your mother’s teachings.
Wrap yourself in them from head to foot;
wear them like a scarf around your neck.
Wherever you walk, they’ll guide you;
whenever you rest, they’ll guard you;
when you wake up, they’ll tell you what’s next.
For sound advice is a beacon,
good teaching is a light,
moral discipline is a life path.

 

Motherhood does not come with a manual, but a plethora of advice from those who have been in the trenches of raising children.  Some advice is not only helpful but lifesaving in moments of chaos and distress. Much of the advice is not helpful because it applies to certain children with special circumstances.  The best advice I ever received was when your child is happy or sad, mad or hurting, love them. Don’t be afraid that rocking them to sleep will spoil them. Children cannot begin to understand what love is if they don’t see it in their own lives. They can learn, but oh to be able to experience it first hand is so much better than being taught what love looks like.

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This beautiful woman is my mother.

My children, who are adults now, used to exasperate me when it came to school projects. I am sure many reading this can relate. They are given an assignment, in which a visual presentation must take place, along with a report or speech. Many times this counts for a large portion of their grade. Educators know that in order for them to complete these projects, they are given ample time to accomplish them. Several weeks time, usually. However, my children would always wait until the very last-minute to spring these projects on me ~ usually one to two days before they were due!  And as they feverishly rushed to finish them, I would comment on how lucky they were to live in this day and age.

“Google” in my day meant making a trip to the library, searching the card catalog for reference materials and books to read and research. We didn’t have the luxury of the internet or typewriters/word processors that had self correction included. If we made a mistake, we had to start over. Long before “white out” was invented or “correction tape” was available. And many times you could tell by the details, the projects were rushed. Long nights of gluing and pasting pictures cut out of magazines or printed materials, with the hopes they would pass their class. Loving them also meant that if they didn’t complete it to the teacher’s satisfaction, it was on them. Learning to realize that there was a solution always in front of them, using their time wisely and not waiting.

It would have been easy for me to do their homework, but they wouldn’t have learned anything by doing that. Life is full of lessons.  Working on school projects and homework helps to prepare them for the real world with a real job and performing many tasks that may seem mundane, but so important.

I wish I would have taught them about why a budget is so very important. If they had money to spend, as a child, the thought of saving it was lost on them until they saw something they wanted and didn’t have the funds to get it and I was a “mean” mom. If they didn’t need it, chances are they weren’t getting it without working for it. I believe it’s important for children to understand that not everything in life is free. Earning funds to pay for something teaches the value of hard work and feeling accomplished in by the success of reaching a goal. Goals are important in life. Creating plans on how to accomplish goals takes perseverance and a willingness to “get it done” attitude. Lofty goals can be accomplished, but you have to be willing to put the work in to get to where you want to be. And there is nothing that can stop you, except the limits you place on yourself.  There is still a sign, hanging in our home that reads “Just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, it means you should just try harder.”  I firmly believe that. I also believe that “giving up is not an option”. Something my parents taught me from a young age.

Mother's Poem

I have tried my best to model love and kindness to my children. To show them that even though they may not have everything they want, they have everything they need. To teach them that they need to exhibit kindness to others and stand up for the downtrodden. Be a friend, offer a hand up, listen, don’t judge someone by their appearance or circumstance. Be thankful for all you have. And if you want more than you have, do what you need to do to make it a reality.

I never had to wonder if my mom loved me. I was lucky. I am still blessed. I made many choices my mother did not agree with and I know many times she was disappointed, but never once did I have to wonder if she loved me. Never. I pray that my children will always be able to say that with confidence and mean it.

I am not blind to the fact that there are many people in this world that did not have a mother that loved unconditionally or even cared what was happening in their lives. And that breaks my heart. My response to those who haven’t had a  life where they had a mom or had a mother that loved them in spite of their faults, remember this no matter the type of parent she was-she loved you enough to give you life. And I imagine that may seem a cliché thing to say, but it is a fact. If you are reading this, then at some point, a woman decided you were worth it. Even if you were given up at birth, you were worth the love of being allowed to be born. Jesus will always love you, even when you feel unworthy of love.

I also think of the women that don’t have children, the ones that would give anything to have a child, to hear the words “I love you mommy.” And, I don’t know why God allows some women to have children that aren’t wanted and those who want them, for whatever reason, can’t conceive. But know this, there are many motherless children in the world that need your love. If you have a deep need to be a mom, and can’t do it naturally, please look into adopting or fostering a child. God will always make a way.

If you have played a role in a child’s life, through mentoring, teaching and making them feel special, regardless if you are their mom or not, you have shown love.

It is my prayer that if you are mother that you have a very blessed Mother’s Day this weekend. If you have lost a child, please accept my condolences. I too have a child in Heaven and I think about her every single day. One day we will be reunited.

May you know how much Jesus Loves You~every single moment of every day!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~Carlene