Embracing Change

Mark 10:27New International Version

27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.

In three days my life will change as I know it. I am ready for it. I am looing forward to it. I looking forward to the time I don’t have to use my walker to get around. I am looking forward to being able to walk and breathe without calculating every step and wondering if I will need to sit down and take a break because I’m out of breath or feeling like my legs are going to collapse and my back is going to give out. I have been anxiously awaiting this day, for many reasons.

When I started on this journey to have bariatric gastric sleeve surgery, I had one goal in mind; lose enough weight to begin radiation treatments for the cancer that invaded my body. Now I have many goals. Getting the treatments are still at the top of my list, but other things are starting to come into play that I never even considered. I will be able to walk better, taking the weight off my arthritic spine and joints, being able to leave the portable oxygen concentrator behind and truly enjoy life.

It has been 10 months since I started this journey. Changing the way I eat and incorporating exercise into my life, something I once thought I couldn’t do, because of so many health problems. I have lost almost 40 pounds on my own, which doesn’t seem like very much when you have over 100+ pounds to lose, but I have done it! I am proud of myself, not in a boastful way, but in a very thankful way that Jesus has been with me through every single step.

I know it won’t be easy. Nothing worth having ever is, but I have learned when you set your mind to it and are determined to follow through, nothing is impossible. Nothing is impossible with God on our side. Nothing. Eventually, my goal is to lose 279 pounds. It will take years, but I know I can do it. I have an amazing medical team, support from family and friends and most of all I have Jesus.

The cancer is not spreading, so I am very thankful for that blessing. I am thankful for all the people in my life that continue to encourage me and cheer me on, when I wonder if my goals will become reality.

Life is ever changing. We can learn to embrace it or we can stay stuck. I was stuck long enough. It took me having cancer invade my body and normal treatments to get rid of it, not working, as we had hoped, to realize that if I kept going at the rate I was, I might die of obesity. So, I bit the bullet, and started working toward the goal of this upcoming surgery and life change. For years, I had medical professionals and family suggest this type of surgery, but I was stubborn and didn’t want to do it, didn’t want to give up foods that were ultimately killing me, slowly. Not anymore.

No matter what type of change you are facing in your life today, know that Jesus is right there with you, in every little detail. He will get you through anything, if you just trust Him. He loves you. He doesn’t want to see you remain stuck, he wants to push you and grow you into the person He created you to be. It’s never too late.

Remember that every mess you go through in life is a message that Jesus can use to encourage others, and every test you face, can be a testimony to the goodness of God. He is always listening, always available and He will never leave you, ever. #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings to all until next time~Carlene

55 Days

For the past 55 days, or 7 weeks and 6 days, or 1 month and 24 days….we have been forced to slow down. Spend time with our loved ones. Isolate ourselves from the world. And while, it may not seem like a lot of time; trust me it is when you have a child with special needs and the only way they cope and function is with structured routines daily.

Continue reading

Clean Slate

As 2019 draws to a close, my prayer for each of you is that 2020 will be your best year yet.

Sickness plagued me the last half of the year. And as I continue to recover this blog has suffered too.

It is my fervent prayer that not only will you see God in every detail of your life you will also sense Him with you always.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

2020 is but moments away…a Clean slate to write your story.

May you always know how much Jesus loves you! He can turn any mess into a message and any test we face into a testimony!

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Happy New Year 2020!

Blessings,

Carlene

Blessed Beyond Measure

You never know how much you’re blessed until you feel it slipping from your grasp.

First and foremost, Happy Belated Thanksgiving from my family to yours. I pray you were able to spend it with people you cherish and love.

I was very blessed to have a day with many family members at our Mom’s new place. Our first Thanksgiving with her in 17 years with all the delicious foods made from scratch with love.

Having fun watching a fourth generation child learn old and new traditions and be a part of them! Making memories was the best part of the day!!! We missed our family that couldn’t join in this year.

The following morning, while crazy shoppers were out getting bargains of a lifetime, I slept in. After working 16 years in retail Black Friday will always be a memory. No sale is enough to be out in those crowds. At least that’s how I see it right now. And never say never because you just never know. But not this year, for sure.

It was a good thing I chose to forego the Black Friday sales aa my body had other plans.

Most of you know about the sepsis and the after effects. The “panic attacks” are terrible. No warning. Just come out of nowhere. Shortness of breath, dizziness and racy heart with chest pains. But the breathing technique taught by a physical therapist usually relieves those panic attacks. After two hours of a racing heart, pounding as if it would jump from my chest from just sitting and resting; I finally allowed my mom to call 911.

It turns out I had an episode of atrial fibrillation or AFib.It’s when your heart rhythm is irregular and for me it was beating very fast (188bpm) (normal is 60-100).

I was frightened because I knew that was way too high for my pulse rate and I stressed about riding in the ambulance. The medics were amazing. Mark and Danny, the paramedics from Huber Heights Medic 25 were great!! They kept me calm as they got me to the hospital.

So two nights in the hospital with new medications; my heart is back in sinus rhythm and prayerfully I hope that NEVER happens again. If it does, at least I will know what is happening.

Once again, I was reminded how blessed and loved I am. The feeling of acceptance by others truly fuels my soul. Being part of community with people I love and care about just as much.

God created all of us to be part of something bigger. Community~relationship~living life with others.

Please don’t take life for granted. You get one chance. Take care of you and the people you love. Cherish them. Let them know now. Life is too short to be wasted.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~now and always. He can turn any mess into a message and any test into a testimony.#HOPEALWAYSHAVEFAITH

Blessings~Carlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Mind

Hello everyone! I am still here. I am finding it much more difficult to write because focusing and concentrating requires a lot more effort than I have ever had to have, until now. Many days God brings to mind something he wants me to share with you and by the time it is quiet and I can sit down to write, the words are all jumbled in my mind. I know the message is important, but the ease at which I wrote before, isn’t there. It comes in bits and pieces and now I am having to write it down and hope that when I choose to share, it will make sense to you as it does to me.

autumn ripples

I am a person, that admittedly, likes to be in control of at least me and my thoughts. And it’s been hard to put the words into a sentence or paragraph that makes sense.

Romans 8:26 New Living Translation (NLT)
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

I am thankful that when I don’t know the words to use, The Holy Spirit intercedes for me with the Father, Christ Jesus our Lord and shares my prayers and cries. If you know Jesus and have a relationship with Him, he already knows all your needs, but he wants you to tell him and share with him just as you would with your closest friend. He wants to hear about all of your life, the good times, as well as the trying times. Many people cry out in prayer to the Father only when things aren’t going well or they really need his help, but He also wants to share in your joys! And if He doesn’t answer your prayers as you want, then many times, the faith you have suffers, because why would a good God allow bad things to happen? That is the question of the ages. God’s ways are not our own. No matter how much we try and see it from a perspective of God, we will never understand it. There are many mysteries that will not be revealed until He is ready to reveal them.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

And just as I don’t understand why my mind is affected in this way as a result of surviving sepsis, I know that God has a plan and I will continue to trust Him as it unfolds. Sometime’s we have to get to the end of ourselves, so we can see God working in our lives. To fully rely on Him, means we must be willing to give up what we think is best and trust Him.

It is and can be scary, the unknown; but God will never put you in harm’s way and never allow the temptation to be more than you can bear.

1 Corinthians 10:13 English Standard Version (ESV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

No matter what challenge you are facing today or heartache, please know Jesus Loves you too much to leave you where you are at. He is always with you. Jesus can turn any mess in your life into a message and any test you face into a testimony! Never give up. Jesus loves you!#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

Before & After

bEFORE AND aFTER

 

I’ve read that when people grieve they can break it down into two times. Before and After. Before the loss and after the loss. I know this is true. I also know that this just doesn’t apply to the loss of a loved one. It’s also the loss of a function.

Before sepsis, my memory was rock solid. Retaining anything was easy. Sometime’s I had to write it down, but once I had spoken it, read it or wrote it, it was easy to remember. After sepsis, I am finding that the only short term memory I have is in the moment. The moment it is being read, written down or spoken. THIS frustrates me so much, I don’t even know the proper way to express it as to how much it does.  I need notes to remind me that I know something and even then the notes aren’t always helpful.  Memory has never been something I have had trouble with and now anything that happened before sepsis is easily pulled from my memory and easily shared. After the illness and hospital stay, everything spoken or read becomes lost. And it’s scary.

As I sit and read The Word, I am glad that I knew God, Jesus and His Word before sepsis, otherwise, I might read something but have no way of retaining it or understanding it.

In His Word, it tells us to be thankful in all circumstances, with prayer and petition.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.-1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

I wouldn’t wish this life-changing sepsis (aka septic shock/septicemia) on anyone. It is dangerously devastating to your body, mind and can be fatal if not caught in time. However, going through this almost fatal health scare( had I not went to the hospital at the time I did, I would have died)  has taught me to take care of my needs and myself: physically, mentally and most of all spiritually. To be thankful and content in and at all times. To be grateful and have a heart of gratitude for what I do have, for the millions of blessings God bestows upon me daily and for the many times he has kept me from harm.

Many things have changed in me and for me since before and after sepsis, but I am glad to still be here, very much alive, working on progressing to wellness again and thankful I can still share about Jesus and the love he has for all of us.

There are many things we go through and the one thing I have learned through all the painful pruning the Lord does with me is everything is for a purpose and a plan. His purpose and His plans. He continues to work in and through me, and in and through my pastors, friends and family members to teach and rebuke me when needed, to encourage me and strengthen me when I am weak and to continually pour out His peace and His joy and His love into me and my life.

Refining and purifying is a painful process. But in order for you and me to bear good fruit to share with others, we have to go through these processes and weed out what is not from Him. As you grow in your faith, there will be many things you will go through and each one will shape you into the person God has created you to be. I am working on not being resistant to the process. Some moments are more painful than others, but all are necessary.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~right now and always. Jesus Christ is my everything and that is one thing that has not changed. He was my everything before sepsis and He is my everything after sepsis. Having sepsis and recovering from it, has made me realize how much I rely on Jesus and how difficult it would be for me to make it through the rough days without it. I am so thankful I have my Savior, Jesus Christ with me daily.

Blessings~Carlene