Category Archives: CHANGES

My Mind

Hello everyone! I am still here. I am finding it much more difficult to write because focusing and concentrating requires a lot more effort than I have ever had to have, until now. Many days God brings to mind something he wants me to share with you and by the time it is quiet and I can sit down to write, the words are all jumbled in my mind. I know the message is important, but the ease at which I wrote before, isn’t there. It comes in bits and pieces and now I am having to write it down and hope that when I choose to share, it will make sense to you as it does to me.

autumn ripples

I am a person, that admittedly, likes to be in control of at least me and my thoughts. And it’s been hard to put the words into a sentence or paragraph that makes sense.

Romans 8:26 New Living Translation (NLT)
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

I am thankful that when I don’t know the words to use, The Holy Spirit intercedes for me with the Father, Christ Jesus our Lord and shares my prayers and cries. If you know Jesus and have a relationship with Him, he already knows all your needs, but he wants you to tell him and share with him just as you would with your closest friend. He wants to hear about all of your life, the good times, as well as the trying times. Many people cry out in prayer to the Father only when things aren’t going well or they really need his help, but He also wants to share in your joys! And if He doesn’t answer your prayers as you want, then many times, the faith you have suffers, because why would a good God allow bad things to happen? That is the question of the ages. God’s ways are not our own. No matter how much we try and see it from a perspective of God, we will never understand it. There are many mysteries that will not be revealed until He is ready to reveal them.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

And just as I don’t understand why my mind is affected in this way as a result of surviving sepsis, I know that God has a plan and I will continue to trust Him as it unfolds. Sometime’s we have to get to the end of ourselves, so we can see God working in our lives. To fully rely on Him, means we must be willing to give up what we think is best and trust Him.

It is and can be scary, the unknown; but God will never put you in harm’s way and never allow the temptation to be more than you can bear.

1 Corinthians 10:13 English Standard Version (ESV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

No matter what challenge you are facing today or heartache, please know Jesus Loves you too much to leave you where you are at. He is always with you. Jesus can turn any mess in your life into a message and any test you face into a testimony! Never give up. Jesus loves you!#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings until next time~Carlene

 

 

 

Before & After

bEFORE AND aFTER

 

I’ve read that when people grieve they can break it down into two times. Before and After. Before the loss and after the loss. I know this is true. I also know that this just doesn’t apply to the loss of a loved one. It’s also the loss of a function.

Before sepsis, my memory was rock solid. Retaining anything was easy. Sometime’s I had to write it down, but once I had spoken it, read it or wrote it, it was easy to remember. After sepsis, I am finding that the only short term memory I have is in the moment. The moment it is being read, written down or spoken. THIS frustrates me so much, I don’t even know the proper way to express it as to how much it does.  I need notes to remind me that I know something and even then the notes aren’t always helpful.  Memory has never been something I have had trouble with and now anything that happened before sepsis is easily pulled from my memory and easily shared. After the illness and hospital stay, everything spoken or read becomes lost. And it’s scary.

As I sit and read The Word, I am glad that I knew God, Jesus and His Word before sepsis, otherwise, I might read something but have no way of retaining it or understanding it.

In His Word, it tells us to be thankful in all circumstances, with prayer and petition.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.-1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

I wouldn’t wish this life-changing sepsis (aka septic shock/septicemia) on anyone. It is dangerously devastating to your body, mind and can be fatal if not caught in time. However, going through this almost fatal health scare( had I not went to the hospital at the time I did, I would have died)  has taught me to take care of my needs and myself: physically, mentally and most of all spiritually. To be thankful and content in and at all times. To be grateful and have a heart of gratitude for what I do have, for the millions of blessings God bestows upon me daily and for the many times he has kept me from harm.

Many things have changed in me and for me since before and after sepsis, but I am glad to still be here, very much alive, working on progressing to wellness again and thankful I can still share about Jesus and the love he has for all of us.

There are many things we go through and the one thing I have learned through all the painful pruning the Lord does with me is everything is for a purpose and a plan. His purpose and His plans. He continues to work in and through me, and in and through my pastors, friends and family members to teach and rebuke me when needed, to encourage me and strengthen me when I am weak and to continually pour out His peace and His joy and His love into me and my life.

Refining and purifying is a painful process. But in order for you and me to bear good fruit to share with others, we have to go through these processes and weed out what is not from Him. As you grow in your faith, there will be many things you will go through and each one will shape you into the person God has created you to be. I am working on not being resistant to the process. Some moments are more painful than others, but all are necessary.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~right now and always. Jesus Christ is my everything and that is one thing that has not changed. He was my everything before sepsis and He is my everything after sepsis. Having sepsis and recovering from it, has made me realize how much I rely on Jesus and how difficult it would be for me to make it through the rough days without it. I am so thankful I have my Savior, Jesus Christ with me daily.

Blessings~Carlene