Monthly Archives: February 2018

Here We Go Again

Today started out as any other normal day. Tyson went thru his daily routine. Roused from slumber, hands and face washed, pull-up changed and dressed. Daily Epilepsy maintenance medications dosed, breakfast and waiting on his bus. As of late, if he has ample time to wait for his school bus, he has a tendency to want to lay back down or goes around the room saying, ‘no school’. His mom had to carry him out and get him on the bus. As she returned inside, I was grateful for some solitude and rest myself.

Its ironic how unimportant rest seems when you get a call from the school informing you your child/grandchild has just had an epileptic event. And then you’re stopped in your tracks even more so when you realize the one and only car seat you own is not here,but with your spouse in the other vehicle.

We were able to retrieve the car seat and bring him home and watch him sleep peacefully for several hours.

Thankfully, we have a Seizure Action Plan in place and each member of the school staff knows what to do in the event of a seizure. I think the most scary part for me when I heard the news was does he know what’s happening?

Every single tonic-clonic seizure he has had in the past has been during the nighttime sleep hours and he’s never went from being awake fully into a full blown seizure. I’ve read that some people have no idea they are having it,while its happening, only after its over. I do not know if this is truth or myth. He has only been diagnosed since October 2017.

This time, he slept for 4 hours straight before getting up and staying awake. He tried walking from the sofa to my chair, about a foot away and his little leg muscles just weren’t ready. He looked at me as I picked him up and returned him to the sofa.

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Of course being ever vigilant goes without saying and I’m keeping a journal of his seizure activity, hoping we can identify triggers that may play a role.86f80df9a241232abc67aef3df6e9a4f

To learn more about Epilepsy, the many different types of seizures and what to do in the event you see someone experiencing a seizure event, please go to http://www.epilepsy.com.

Special thanks to all the special angels at Tyson’s school.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

Jesus loves you right where you are in this moment! #HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

Blessings~

 

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WHERE ARE YOU, LORD?

What a timely post, of words that needed to be said and heard!

Becoming HIS Tapestry

Lord, are you there? I remember asking that question as a child.Are You there? Are You real, or a figment of my imagination? IMG_2968When I was about ten or eleven years old, I saw a dead body.I had never seen a dead body before.She was in her early to mid twenties, we were told.And her body had been dumped over a bridge not very far from our house.We didn’t know her; had never seen her before.I later heard she was from the southern part of the island, had also been killed there.That image of her lying at the foot of that bridge will forever be seared in my brain (and now yours too, sorry about that). But I remember thinking, “You could have stopped it from happening, Lord.Why didn’t You? Where were You, Lord?”

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Flawless to Fractured

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I’ve always been intrigued by the patterns shattered glass makes when it breaks. Some would say that it is imperfect or flawed, and not worth much or good for anything. Have you ever felt like that? Felt that you were too flawed, unworthy or no good?

That’s what the devil wants you to think. If fear and doubt creep in the corners of your mind, and you start listening to those doubts and dwell on them, it doesn’t take long for you to believe the lies of the enemy. And if you constantly dwell in the recesses of your mind, where you allow those thoughts to flourish, they can become beliefs that you hold true. When hurt and anger fuel those doubts, you start to imagine that every unkind word that has ever been spoken within your hearing distance is about you.

2 Corinthians 10:5  New International Version (NIV)
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Earlier this month, I was grappling with my identity. Things had happened and it takes being in the Word daily reminding myself that I am not a failure, I am not less than, I am not so overwhelmed with my chaotic life that the enemy can steal my joy, but he sure has tried to.

Ephesians 6:12  New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

The first thing to go wrong was my cellphone screen was purposely broken by our grandson, an inquisitive tike, who wanted to see what would happen when he ran his toy shopping cart over the top of it. It cracked the screen, but not in a beautiful prism pattern, as in the photo above, but lines crawling down and around my screen. I wanted to scream and yell and make him understand what he did wrong, but he didn’t understand. He just kept saying, “Maw phone cracked.” And when I agreed with him, he gave me a hug. He didn’t realize it would affect the use of the phone. The speaker was damaged, but the phone is still usable. Is it pretty, definitely not, but it still works, even with tape over the screen. My Joy is found in Jesus, not in things.

Several days later, my computer screen was damaged beyond repair, but thankfully the hard drive is okay. Accessing it right now is not easy, but at least I know at some point I will be able to retrieve the data and photos I have stored on my computer. Yes, I cried and lamented once again that one of my electronic devices had been damaged, and even felt as if it was my fault and I was a failure because he had managed to damage it. If I had been more proactive in closing my lid when not using my laptop; if I had never let him sit with me when I worked on it; if I had put it away when I was done with it – the same speech I give when he is done with his toys and things. All the “if I had” thoughts tried to make me believe that I had somehow failed as the adult in the situation.  And then depression set in. Worry took hold. Once again, the devil tried to steal my joy and harden my heart, but I love Jesus, so I asked for forgiveness for the anger I was holding onto and forgave this young child because once again, he didn’t understand what it all meant.  And no amount of explaining or reasoning would help.

As a child of God, I choose to love others. I choose to show grace and mercy even when that is the last thing I want to do. I make those choices because Jesus shows me grace and mercy and loves me, no matter how many flaws I have. No matter how broken I am, He is always there for me.

As I have leaned into the Lord and continue to learn how merciful He is, I realize that all the material things in the world mean nothing – they are simply things. Is it a lesson I wanted to learn, heck no. But it was one I needed to learn. God uses every single trial and test we go through to refine and purify us into the person he wants us to be. Even broken electronics. Even broken dryers and broken down vehicles. The fractures I’ve experienced in my home these last few weeks, all boil down to “stuff”.

Psalm 73:26-28 The Message (MSG)
25-28 You’re all I want in heaven!
You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.
But I’m in the very presence of God—
oh, how refreshing it is!
I’ve made Lord God my home.
God, I’m telling the world what you do!

I serve a loving God. I walk with Him daily. He holds me up when I feel like caving in, he sends love and support through prayers and helps from friends,  that I call angels here on earth. He loves me enough to let me go through trials, minor tribulations compared to what many in the world face today; in my mind’s eye, they seemed pretty big at the moment. When I rely more on my cell phone, my laptop computer, my clothes dryer and even my vehicle, more than I rely on God, I needed that wakeup call.

Jesus is enough. The phone, computer, dryer, and van make my life easier, but it won’t get me into Heaven. Only Jesus can do that. And Jesus is the only one that can heal our hearts and minds.

Ephesians 6:14-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[a] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[b] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[c]

Wearing the Full Armor of God is the best way to live. When calamity strikes, no matter what it is, I can stand firm in knowing that no matter what problems I face, they are only temporary. And there is nothing wrong with me. I am worthy, I am good, I do my very best every day and because I am human, sometimes I fail. But that is not held against me by God. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Only Love.

If you are struggling with your identity and who you are, remember this, Jesus knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. He knows everything about you and He loves you. Right where you are, right now, at this moment. Do not give the devil and foothold in your mind. Because that’s where many battles are fought.

May you remember you are more precious than rubies. Jesus Loves You!

Blessings to you~Carlene

#HopeAlwaysHaveFaith

 

 

Belated Wishes

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I pray that however you chose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, it was filled with joy, love, laughter and great moments that you will have for memories.

I spent mine fighting off flu symptoms and recovering from a fall, so hence this post is a day later than I hoped.

Jesus loves you ~right where you are in this moment.

Blessings~ Carlene and Ty

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Forgive

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This week has been a lesson in forgiveness for me. Our grandson who is inquisitive , strong, funny, hyper and a autistic has tested my patience and mercy.

At the beginning of the week, he broke my mobile screen near the speaker and spider cracks down my screen, but thankfully it is still usable.

Tonight, my laptop screen was not as lucky. I’m at a loss, as both items will need replaced, in time. Living on a fixed income doesn’t afford the luxury of going to the store and buying new. He thinks, if something is broken, we will go shop. So for now, as long as my phone holds out, I’ll be posting from it.

As I sat and cried of the loss of data that I have no idea how to retrieve, family photos, etc. God reminded me that life is precious.  As our little one cried and kept repeating sorry, I knew it wasn’t intended and I knew holding onto anger would surely give the devil a foothold. Forgiveness was easy because I love him.

Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start, a chance to do over things I could have done better today.

The Lord’s mercies are new every day. Mine should be too.

May you know how much Jesus loves you-right now in this moment.

Blessings ~Carlene

Gift of Love

James 1:17 New International Version (NIV)
17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

 

As I sit here this morning, watching the snow fall outside my window, it reminds me of how the Father covers us.  When we come to know Jesus Christ and accept Him as our Lord and Savior, he covers us by the sacrifice of his blood on the cross. And we are made pure in his sight, white as snow.

I’ve always said I don’t like snow and I have to confess I love watching it fall outside my window, I simply don’t care for the cold temperatures associated with falling precipitation.  Earlier, gazing out my window, I saw a muddied yard, with brown, lifeless trees and now I see white all around, and everything appears pristine and fresh.

2 Corinthians 5:17 New Living Translation (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

No matter who you were or how your life was before Jesus, you are given a new life, one held together with love, mercy, and grace. Your sins are covered by the blood of the Lamb, similar to how God covers the muddled, messy ground with freshly fallen snow.

There is not one of us that can claim to be Holy or Righteous without the Cross. Jesus bore the sins of the world so we could be reconciled to God. When sin entered the garden, it separated us from God. With Jesus’ death on the cross, it gives us atonement for our sins, once and for all. When we come to Jesus, repent of our sins, and choose to follow Him, we are considered children of God. Jesus is the bridge that brings us back to a Father that sin keeps us from.  Living a life as a Christian isn’t easy.  He died for us so we could live life abundantly.  He didn’t promise there wouldn’t be problems, but in life and in death, he showed us how to live and overcome hate.

love hearts

Live your life with purpose, choose Joy that only God can give. Accept peace and hope as the things we seek and cling to. Live passionately, love extravagantly, Choose life. We are only given one chance to get this right. Choose to love others, help those that need help, pray and expect miracles. Leave a legacy.

May you know how much Jesus loves you~right where you are, right now!

Blessings~Hope Always, Have Faith

Carlene