Monthly Archives: January 2017

Ademoneo

Ademoneo, Greek Transliterated word  New Testament Greek Lexicon

pronunciation: ad-ay-mon-eh’-o

Definition: To be troubled, great distress or anguish, depressed.

There are three instances that this word has been used in the New Testament You can find those instances in Matthew 26:37/Mark 14:33/Philippians 2:26

depressed


I have lived with depression for years. But not my depression. Until recently, I didn’t have this problem, personally. But I have lived with the disorder for many years because I love people who live and suffer from clinical depression. Depression that from what I know and have seen, they battle daily to keep their lives going on an even keel.  Depression, if left to run its course ends up ruining many things in their lives; including them.

This depression wasn’t just because something happened that made them sad or downtrodden, but a melancholy that settled in their soul and no amount of encouragement or laughter could bring about change. Sometimes medications help, sometimes they didn’t. People suggest that you see a psychiatrist or psychologist and talk out the reasons that have led to your depression and they can teach you ways to cope with it and live with it.

What I have found, though, is that it isn’t just one thing that causes it and what works great for one person suffering, doesn’t even begin to work for someone else with the same diagnosis. The mind is like a minefield. What might set one person off, another person it wouldn’t even faze.

This depression that I have been feeling lately, has been coming on for months. I have fought long and hard to keep it at bay. I have done my best to dive into the Word and pray to the Father seeking His guidance. I have started Bible Journaling as a way to express myself, while still reflecting on scripture and God’s promises to never leave us or forsake us. I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world because I have the spirit of God living within me. The Holy Spirit. And he guides me and convicts me when I stray from the teachings of Jesus. I have always been able to show mercy and grace under pressure and continue to live in a joyful state of existence with God’s joy in my heart. It’s not always happy times or moments, but I’ve always had God’s joy there and His peace that only he can give.

Lately, I’ve been pondering how do I get back to where I was or maybe I should be asking where are you leading me Lord and how much longer will I be in this dark valley?

I am a people person. I always have been. I never meet a stranger, ever. I love to talk and read and learn. I love to be an encourager to others and help people. I do have a caregiver mentality. The only problem with having that mentality, is sometimes I forget to care for myself.

Zechariah 13:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 I will bring that group through the fire
and make them pure.
I will refine them like silver
and purify them like gold.
They will call on my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘These are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”

I know that God allows us to go through painful circumstances when necessary to refine us for what His purpose is for our lives. I know that in those moments, I need to lean into him and pursue Him for my needs. He will supply them all.

Before I retired early, even though I was in great physical pain, I was around others and now I am around the same people daily. Please don’t get me wrong, I am very blessed to have my family, but honestly spending every waking minute together is maddening when you are a person that seeks to be around people and not feeling isolated all the time. Unfortunately, with the loss of income (over 50%), the itinerary for the week changes to accommodate budget needs.  And many other changes occur because we can’t eat out as much as we would want or buy things on a whim because the funds aren’t available. And event though the physical pain isn’t as strong as it was when you were working full-time, it’s still present. The difference is now you can sit and rest when you need to. That’s really the only difference.

When I worked 40 hours a week outside of the home, I still had obligations here that had to be taken care of and everything came together, one way or another. Now I feel isolated, lonely. I feel like all I am to people is someone who cooks and cleans and does laundry and keeps a two-year-old occupied all day.  I love being a grandmother. But I don’t want to be the grandmother that can’t have fun with her grandchild and then take a break. I will if that’s what it takes. But I miss being able to do fun things for me. With my friends.

I miss being able to splurge and go to a fast food restaurant and grab a sandwich because I don’t feel like making a lunchmeat sandwich at home. I miss working and earning an income.

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.
James 4:10 MSG

And the worst part is every little critique that anyone has for me, I take offense to. Even if they are correct. I have always been a firm believer that constructive criticism is good. Lately, I haven’t felt any of the criticism I have received is constructive. I take things too personally and inwardly, I cry. I think of all kinds of ways I could respond, but I know that is not what Jesus would want me to do because as soon as I allow those thoughts to flash across my mind, I am convicted in my spirit, that is not who I am.

I get depressed because I can’t even go to the store by myself. Even though I am a people person and anyone that knows me would agree; sometimes I just want to be alone. I know this is healthy thinking. I just can’t convince anyone else of that without hurting their feelings and that’s the last thing I want to do.

I used to read 3-4 books a month and now I am lucky if I read 3-4 books in 6 months. I miss reading. When I read, I can visualize the story in my mind and I can escape my life for a few hours and just dive into the story. Page turners I can read within a day or two. Now my books are on shelves, gathering dust because I don’t have time to do that anymore.

My depression is in part my fault as I have never been good at setting boundaries and keeping them. I know that until I learn to stick to my boundaries and keep them in place, I will continue to be walked on and I will continue to resent certain people. That is not healthy and I have no desire to walk that road.

The depression I have observed in the last 20 years has caused true medical ailments because the festering of problems being pushed down farther and farther until there is nowhere to push them and they come out in ways that create havoc on the body. I’ve seen it. I know it’s real. It causes underlying medical problems such as hypertension, heart problems, stomach problems. and probably too many to mention here. If your depression is truly bad, and you do not have coping skills in place for when you start to spiral out of control, I’ve seen it come out in waves of sadness and anger. And even though many things said in the throes of an argument or disagreement that are spiteful and hurtful aren’t meant; once you’ve said them you can’t take them back. Words hurt.

Proverbs 12:18New Living Translation (NLT)

18 Some people make cutting remarks,
but the words of the wise bring healing.

I know that I must talk about it. I must talk to anyone that will listen that you can’t hold everything in and at some point not explode or just give up. We all need one another. We all have problems. We need to start loving each other not for what we have or don’t have, but simply because loving one another is so much better than the effort it takes to be hurtful to one another. And because that is what we are called to do.

Matthew 22:37-40 New Living Translation (NLT)

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[e] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[f] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Heavenly Father,

Help me to see that I am not alone. Help me to realize that you are with me, always. Help me to reach out to others and lean on others. Lord help me to grow in the ways you want and need me to grow and keep me on the correct path for my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Blessings to you; may you always know Jesus Loves You.

Jesus Can Turn any Mess into a Message of Hope

#HopeAlways#HaveFaith

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Visualize Your Dreams

I recently received my iBloom Planner for 2017. This planner makes my life so much easier and it helps me be intentional and focused on what I need to accomplish. Not only does it help me keep track of appointments and important dates for the year, there are also many other sections of the planner that ask specific questions to help you have a plan in place for the year.  Imagine that, a planner that actually helps you write a plan for your life and/or your business. Best investment ever.

One of the sections in the planner, ask what is your Theme for the year. The planner is designed with Christian women in mind who are in Business but want to have a satisfying life to love as well.

So along with the many things in this planner, there is also scripture and reminders to seek out the Lord and to pray.  I absolutely love it!

The problem I have been having is I just don’t have one theme word for the year. I have multiple themes that I believe intertwined together would be children of a parent theme. I just haven’t decided what that parent theme should be. My children themes are Declutter, Organize, Love, Laugh, Give.  I am thinking the one word to pull it all together might just be, Simplify,  maybe.

This verse from the Book of Psalm 51, Verse 10 has been popping up all over the place in my readings lately, so I am pretty sure God is trying to tell me something.

Psalm 51:10King James Version (KJV)

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

I realize that this verse is speaking about having a pure heart and the Lord’s spirit upon my life and my body so that I can share the gospel of salvation with sinners and they will return to the Lord.  This verse may not be talking about decluttering or organizing a space, but I know sometimes it is easy for our hearts and minds to become cluttered with a bunch of information that is not only NOT useful but sometimes can be damaging and toxic to the soul.

There are many verses in the Holy Bible on Love. I believe verses 34 and 35 from the Book of John, Chapter 13, sum up how we should show love to others.

John 13:34-35 NLT

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

 

Each day when I wake up, I pray and ask the Lord to give me His eyes so I can see others as he does. I want to love others as he did. I want people to know how much I love Jesus and how he has changed me into the person I am, from where I was before. There are days I struggle to be loving like Jesus; thank goodness, he is willing to give me a second chance and offers grace.

The Lord forgives our sins and they are forgotten forever. Never to be brought up again. Never to be hung over your head and thrown in your face when you get something wrong or don’t quite measure up to people and their expectations. His grace and mercy are showered upon us daily; shouldn’t’ we do the same?

Luke 6:37-38 NIV

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 

I want to be able to give to others in need as they have given to me when I have needed it, no strings attached. I want to give with a loving heart not because I should or because it’s the right thing to do, but because I want to show them the love of Jesus in a practical way. And most importantly, I do not want to condemn anyone, regardless of their actions. I have no idea what kind of battle other people face and I have enough “battles” of my own, I certainly don’t need to be picking more.  I can tell you about the good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over because that has been poured into my lap and my family many times. The Lord provided. What an amazing awesome God I serve!

As I learn to declutter my home, my life, and my heart, I pray God will show me areas that I need to organize or set apart more or less than they are now. I know that I need to invest more time in certain relationships and I need to let others go. I need to remember to laugh thru the struggles and love even when I don’t feel like being loving. I need to give with a cheerful heart because that is the only way you truly give of yourself, your time or your talents. If you are not happy in the giving, then you must step back and examine your heart and your motives.

2 Corinthians 9:7NLT

7 You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.

 

I  am excited to see where 2017 takes me and I am also excited to see if at the end of the year, I lived out my theme or were they merely words jotted down in a pretty planner.

dreamvision

Having a vision for your life, helps you to stay on task and stay focused. Visions may change as you grown, but don’t sell yourself short. God allows desires in your heart for a reason, trust Him to get you through them.

Blessings to you. Jesus loves you, right where you are!

~Carlene